ryanxj9000 Reviews

The Last House on the Left (1972)

Dumpster Fire

[1/10 · 7 September 2020]

Just an amateur, completely pointless piece of garbage. Not scary. Not interesting. Not entertaining. Bad acting. Bad directing. Bad editing. Bad sound. Bad dialogue. No real story. Just total trash. I expected something completely different. I thought I was going to watch some old horror classic, but I couldn't be more wrong. To whoever likes this, the emperor isn't wearing any clothes. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Chris D'Elia: No Pain (2020 TV Special)

Turned off after 15 mins. Not one laugh.

[1/10 · 15 April 2020]

Well this was just not funny at all. Like Brandon Slaub levels of unfunny. Gave it 15 mins. If a comic can't make me laugh in the first 15, I'm the idiot for continuing to watch. This happened with his previous special, also-15 mins and then turned it off. He's great on Ten Minute Podcast playing off Callen and Sasso, and can be good as a podcast guest, so it is really surprising just how not funny he is doing standup by himself. I think he needs other comics to play off of. He should stick to improv like TMP, which is supposedly making a comeback. Supposedly.. they keep teasing it but nothing is confirmed.

The homeless cat I found outside the PF Chang's where I work is funnier than this.

Sleeping Dogs Lie (2018)

Great movie. Beast of a movie.

[10/10 · 28 September 2019]

Dogs are cool, but there's not enough homeless cats in it. Joanna Zanella is a bbbbbeast! Tawlmbout a work ethnic. I aksed Jay about it, and he liked it, so it's really a 20/10 for both of us. What else ya got, Joanna?

Amy Schumer: The Leather Special (2017 TV Special)

Just bad. Boring. Unfunny.

[10/10 · 11 September 2019]

Zero punchlines. Zero. I watched it a while ago on netflix and rated it there. They scrapped their whole review system because this special was so hated on by everyone. However, it deserved it. RIP Netflix review system. Amy dun ya wrong.

Below the Belt (2018– )

He doesn't watch the fights or do research

[1/10 · 6 September 2019]

Title says it all. He openly talks about how he doesn't watch the fights, and will just make fight picks based on nothing. He's notoriously wrong, consistently. And he defends his wrong picks in a childish way by having a tantrum on the next episode, saying things like "I don't give a f______, and I didn't watch the fights." He doesn't care. Showtime, do better!

Brendan Schaub: You'd Be Surprised (2019 TV Special)

Comedy 1/10, Cringe 11/10

[1/10 · 5 September 2019]

Worst special I've ever seen. I used to be a fan, so I think that gives me a fair amount of objectivity. I used to actually like this dude. This special was T-T-Turrible, B! What else ya got?