Bumble7 Reviews

The Hoarder (2015)

You've probably seen this before

[2/10 · 10 October 2015]

I thought this could've been something scary. There actually were some 10 minutes where I was quite scared, but after that first moments of suspense, the rest got too generic and predictable. I did watch it through to the end, although I was tempted to quit more than once.

The storyline is pretty old and I bet you've already seen it in a few other movies yourself:

• A group of people are trapped in some place or another (in a cottage in the woods, on a boat, in some old castle or warehouse) - Someone or something evil is set loose

• group tries to escape but mysterious things prevent them form escaping

• instead of staying together, some girl will separate from the others and follow a creepy noise into a dark place ("hello? is there anybody out there in that creepy forest / tunnel / cave? Maybe the psychopath that killed my boyfriend / husband / friend 10 minutes ago?")

• another girl will try to run away, being chased, then trip over nothing, and stay there screaming while "the evil" hunts her down etc.

You know those ingredients - you've seen them often before.

The only thing new here to me was the setting in an underground self-storage, which I thought had some original ideas that served those few scary moments.

I feel kind of sorry for the director. It feels like this is the desperate (but futile) attempt to fulfill his lifelong childhood dream of producing a super scary blockbuster. In a "i can do it" and "nobody can stop me" brute force way, he tries to patch up all those holes in the illogical and inconsistent story just to quickly get to the end.

If you don't watch this - you won't be missing out on anything...

The Bell Witch Haunting (2013)

don't waste your time. watch something else - anything is better

[1/10 · 8 November 2014]

I was really incredibly disappointed! Mix the "Kid records his whole day on camera" point of view of "Cloverfield" with "surveillance camera" view of "Paranormal Activity", steal the better scenes from "The Exorcist", strip away all the suspense & thrill and everything else that was good in those movies, add some poor acting and voilà: you have 90 minutes of wasted lifetime. There are 3-4 "startle&scare" moments but basically they rely on loudness and are predictable. Other than in Cloverfield, you don't build up any kind of relationship with the characters and couldn't care less about them. I honestly have no explanation why I watched this piece to it's end. More than once I just wanted to hit that eject button and fling that disc against the wall.

I even rented this as 3D blue-ray. Yes it is 3D but has no single effect that would justify the inconvenience of wearing 3D glasses. You say "but 3D glasses aren't THAT inconvenient!?" You're right, they aren't - but that's how lame the 3D effects of this movie are.

I honestly feel ripped off by this movie! And I'm not talking about the money! Keep the money! Just give me back my wasted lifetime!