Ionizing Reviews

White Chamber (2018)

Overacting Mixed with Lazy Story Telling

[2/10 · 9 August 2019]

Q. And what do you get ? A. White Chamber.

It's as if the numbskulls of the entire production team of Big Brother had been given the remit of making a 'futuristic thriller', and so being devoid of any genuine imagination of their own, hastily cobbled together this completely derivative and unengaging low-budget dross, dressed up as a savvy dystopian drama.

Take the advice of every real reviewer here, and watch something else instead...anything else !

Stormswept (1995)

All The Reviewers Are Right

[5/10 · 17 December 2017]

It must be pretty rare, if not unique, that you agree with what everyone has written, not totally of course but certainly in the main. No one could accuse this movie of being good, yet there are far worse, I know because like you, I've seen them.

Set in a classic haunted house, complete with thunderstorm and jump scares, it looks like it could be a homage to those amateur 70's-80's Spanish/Italian horrors, but in actuality that's just due to its poor production rather than by intention. The music and foley is indeed awful, as is the film quality and editing, but the actors do there bit despite this, and it's actually quite unsettling in parts, which just about manages to keep its head above the water.

As I and the others have said, it's not a good movie, but knowing that and if you mainly want to see some quite attractive actresses get naked, and I think they all get naked at some point, coupled with something hammy that has a bit of atmosphere, then you could do worse in my opinion.

Ps. I've rated this slightly higher than it probably deserves, just to get my point over.

The Lost Brother (2017)

It's all about the Money

[8/10 · 2 September 2017]

I think I'm starting to learn Spanish by absorption I've watched so many Argentinian films lately, and I'm glad I have, as they are presenting scenarios in an art form that Hollywood is simply unable to do. Rather than budget constraints resulting in trashy exploitation movies, as tend to come out of more affluent nations, it seems to focus and direct these film maker's attention back to the essentials of film making, and The Lost Brother is no exception.

The title can refer to any of the three 'brothers' here as they each are lost and are central to its plot. This is not so much a film to be enjoyed, but experienced rather, as everything about it is believable and painful, even the unsettling dual-personality of its main character.

People really do vanish in these environments, and presented here is a possible situation in which some of these disappearances occur. It's all awkward, sad, and difficult to watch, where the manipulation and abuse of the elderly and poor is up for grabs, and even the perpetrator lives in mental and physical squalor.

The acting is natural and authentic, the direction superb, the script tight and unpredictable, and the score is sparse and effective, all so much so in fact that it can leave one dispirited - you have been warned.

But it will give you an insight into another world, raw and unfiltered, and make you appreciate being able to watch this in your comfortable urban front room on your 40" LCD TV.

Wounded (2012)

It's Bad, and when I say bad I mean atrocious

[2/10 · 13 August 2017]

Okay, so let's get the rating of this movie dealt with first, at the time of writing it stands at 6.0, which is hilarious, and has of course been surreptitiously given this by those involved in this monstrosity, otherwise you'd be looking at a 2.2, maybe 2.3 being generous.

Starting off on a positive note, for any ambitious would-be film makers out there, take encouragement from the knowledge that if this can get made and even taken up by Amazon Prime, then your own project, no matter how dire, must stand a chance too.

Unfortunately though that's as good as it gets. Looking like it's been filmed on an iPhone 3 and using its inbuilt mic, it's so amateurish that it'll make your bowels ache, this would never be broadcast on regular TV, the quality control would weed it out pretty sharpish, luckily for them though Amazon have no such standards.

It's a vanity project with a basic crude idea pointlessly dragged out for 2 hours, it's genuinely so poor that I'm not even going to discuss the story line, plot or anything, for no time was spent on it on their part, so why should I ? I'm actually a fan of small, independent, well made films and try to support them, but there's nothing to get behind with this, it's dubbed as a comedy but with no real humour, and the 80's talking-to-the-camera just serves to further devalue it.

Personally I blame the director for this whole mess, as ultimately the actors can only go with what they're given, and they do try, but it's all so wooden that it's a fire hazard. Penny (Tanasha Friar) is pretty, which is perhaps the only thing that makes it at all palatable, but since she keeps her clothes on (understandably I guess) even she can't save it.

The only reason that I've given it 2 stars rather than one is that I presume that there must be worse films out there.......

Hypersomnia (2016)

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

[7/10 · 8 June 2017]

It seems Argentinian films are fast becoming my favourite choice for well made, imaginative, unpredictable dramas, and Hypersomnia for the most part fits that. Edgy and taut, it's heavy on atmosphere, with a sense of risk and menace saturating it, taunting its audience to figure out what's happening as it continually unfolds.

Deliberately blurring the age-old lines between actress and prostitute and reality and fantasy, Hypersomnia (excessive sleepiness) presents like an uncompromising stage play, and any outlining of the narrative here would probably spoil it, but given that this is set in Argentina its themes resonate more viscerally than the usual Hollywood fantasy horror, and is generally better made and thought out.

Unfortunately though, after a promising and intriguing story has developed, it then sadly relies upon and drops into the usual Hollywood tropes rather than exploring the layered themes that it has set up, and so suddenly looks hurried and wasteful at the end as it rushes to conclude.

Could have been, and should have been better than it was, but if this is your genre then there is still plenty to recommend it.

The Keepers (II) (2017)

Absorbing and Captivating

[8/10 · 20 May 2017]

A fascinating long view of a group of courageous and tenacious women, who refuse to let slide the brutal murder of a young lady who was important and highly influential in their lives and whom they all loved and respected, a case which the local police had run aground about almost 50 years ago, or seemingly.

This shouldn't be regarded as a murder/mystery so much as an insight into how an appalling crime can open up unexpected cans of worms of broken psyches and institutional corruption and cover-ups for as far as its tendrils reach. The battle between good and evil is rarely better manifested than in the scenario presented here, where some of those invested with the authority of presiding over this, in both metaphysical and actual terms, have clearly acted out both.

It's a natural temptation for us to beatify the dead and only speak well of them, but in this case it appears to be entirely appropriate, in fact the integrity and decency of the victim is very likely the cause of her being slain at the hands, by proxy or otherwise, of those without compassion or apparent remorse. The actuality of who really cares about any of us in the end is shone a light upon here, and although it does not answer the many questions that it throws up regarding the crimes, it does raise the profiles of not just one, but two vicious killings, and will hopefully give further voice to those that were either silenced or masked at the time, and so this is also the story of people trying to regain their personal and collective sense of empowerment from those who would, and have, taken this from them.

An admirable and effective documentary that encourages its audience to look deeper and keep on questioning. The bravery of all those facing their demons here is tangible, provoking us to take action ourselves when it's called for in our lives, and to do the right thing.

Time Sweep (2016)

Excellent

[9/10 · 3 April 2017]

Occasionally an independent film comes along that really accomplishes its mission, for me Time Sweep is one of those. This drama/thriller with a modest budget focuses on all the right things, great acting, superb directing, lovely cinematography, and believable characters in a tight script.

The essential ingredient of this concept to make it work at all had to be the chemistry between the two main protagonists, and for once it is there. The obsessive and adoring Luis, coupled with the beautiful and passionate Julia was made completely believable from the start. Nothing is wasted in this production and every character is memorable, perhaps the mother seemed a little young for the part, but she certainly carried her role well to make it convincing, and had the daughter's good looks to hold it true.

Unpredictable and fascinating, the film just takes you along its continually unfolding puzzle into unknown territory. The setting in Argentina was atmospheric too, being hot and slightly febrile, and with its mixture of cultures and traditions, yet still low-key. The few effects used are there for a good reason and add rather than distract from the situations, as does the great, sparse score that accompanies the film.

So often movies with other-worldly concepts at the heart of them fail to stay solid throughout and so lose their way, not with Time Sweep, it has clearly been very well thought out from beginning to end and stays true to itself, leaving the viewer still thinking as the end titles roll, but not bewildered and incomplete in the things that it doesn't directly answer.

Bravo ! brilliant work all round.

Alistair1918 (2015)

Enjoyable and Intriguing

[7/10 · 25 March 2017]

If, like me, you enjoy low budget films with interesting ideas that are nicely executed and are also unpredictable, then I would definitely recommend Alistair1918.

Looking like a labour of love by writer/actor Guy Birtwhistle, it's partly documentary style, but not nauseatingly so (and not 'found footage' as another reviewer suggested) and for once it's done well and seems authentic. The acting is good and natural from all the characters and so keeps it all plausible, as they have a credible mix of belief and cynicism which works well in this scenario, leaving the viewer also vacillating between believing his story and thinking he probably just had a bad knock on the head, his 1000 yard stare working in both cases.

Spoiler Alert

Like most movies it does start faltering at the last third when it has to conclude things, and invokes my habit of mentally doing some re-writing, like having them searching the archives for his war record, and even looking for his living ancestors, also running DNA tests on his hair and his wife's, even if they are all inconclusive so as to keep the audience still guessing. The reaction of the characters lose some consistency as well and their certainty in the final goodbye's really gives it away, and their reactions to him actually disappearing are underwhelming, as people would still be incredulous and mind- blown at this even if they had largely come to believe in him.

Mind you, I only really do this to films that I've enjoyed, and this was certainly the case with Alistair1918, but if only they'd called me before the final draft..................

Honeymoon (2015)

Excruciating, disturbing, well made and intensely acted piece

[7/10 · 22 December 2016]

Not really your typical and predictable abduction movie. No super-villains that allow you relief from its reality, or the usual home-made styling to create starkness either, just ordinary broken individuals, largely failing. It is gory, and so will both gain and lose audiences because of this, and there are some inevitable tropes, but it does them pretty well all the same, certainly better than most, although it did sorely lack any proper character development or background story, and therefore ultimately any real depth, which potentially could have lifted it beyond its own constraints and above most all others of this genre.

The soundtrack is driving and moves it along well, and also holds it at the right places too, maintaining its quality level. If you're in the mood for this kind of thing, then I'd recommend it, there are far worse out there.

The Los Angeles Ripper (2011)

Ripper To Shreds

[1/10 · 24 May 2016]

Firstly let's get the misleading overall rating out of the way, it's yet another one that's been artificially boosted by interested parties (cast, crew, family etc.) and would ordinarily have a 2.8 or similar had anyone actually voted for it.

It's nasty in every sense, both gruesome (obviously to give it any point of existence at all), and badly made in every way.

Troma have picked up on it which should immediately tell you all you need to know, but let's go anyway... The actors are all ill at ease here and struggling to stay in character, they are left to ad-lib most of the scenes and look lost and do not give a single memorable conversation.

The music balance is completely out of whack and so the inevitable metal and some 8 bit type synth dominates throughout. Each interior scene here look like they were all made in the same drafty echoey room and are totally stripped of any atmosphere, some decent editing and special effects would have gone a long way, but I realise this would be asking way too much.

Story wise, well there is none to speak of, our 'hero' Grahm is a retarded, coke-head dealer who decides to stalk a random girl Kirsty, who has arrived at her her drunken, horror flick obsessed aunties', firstly looking like Dorothy from Wizard of Oz,and then inexplicably transforming into a tone-deaf hipster.

Grahm's buddy is a mutant Barry Gibb who eventually joins him in his drug addled murdering spree. They clearly didn't know how to end the film, so they just didn't bother and left it 'open'.

So is there anything to redeem this amateurish, brainless, pointless offering ? well, no. I suppose if you like gore then it's heavy on that, and tits, yes they've naturally given you that as well, but to be honest those ladies are not even 'traditionally' attractive.

Poor, very very poor.