DilvishW Reviews

BloodRayne (2005)

Almost a Masterpiece

[8/10 · 27 December 2007]

This film is a near masterpiece of modern bad film-making. Uwe Boll is about the closest thing to an Ed Wood we've got nowadays and some day I think he'll be just as appreciated as Ed Wood is. When your watching this remember it's no ordinary film experience. This movie is bad cinema and if you go into it thinking that you're going to be entertained in the way that you've been entertained by other better made summer blockbusters you're going to be disappointed. THis is no ordinary film, don't expect it to be. Now this one clearly isn't Boll's masterpiece, parts of it are sheer brilliance, but it falters here and there. Dungeon Siege, on the other hand, looks very promising. We shall see.

Feast (2005)

Kinda Blown Away

[9/10 · 2 January 2007]

So I work at a video store and it just so happens that we didn't get this movie in when it was released. I figured, no biggie, as i really wasn't that interested in it anyway. I hadn't watched the greenlight series so I didn't really care that much. A few weeks after it was released however, some dumbass dropped another store's copy of it off in our box. WE called that store and let them know we had their movie, but it's been like four or five months now and the guy still hasn't come to get it. Anyway, the only thing that came out this week was The covenant, which sucked, and snakes on a plane which is alright if you like that sort of thing. Well, I watched both of those, but it's been a long week and i needed something else. Im a movieholic. I ended pulling this out of our other store drawer, said, "Oh well." and took it home with no expectations whatsoever.

I must say this movie rocked much harder than i could have imagined. I see some people have been complaining about the actresses due to some issues in the show, but honestly they were all perfect for their characters. THe only actor who bothered me was the hero, but who cares.

The monsters were excellent for such a low budget picture, and i can't imagine how this could have turned out any better. In my opinion, The Descent was the best horror flick that came out this year, but im gonna have to put this one in the top five somewhere along with Slither and Hostel. This is just one seriously awesome movie. If you love horror, camp, humor, and Evil Dead style camera work and gore this movie is a must. If your top movie of the year is Ice Age 2 or The Break Up please please please stay away from this movie. ANd if you do see it, please please please, don't bitch about it on the boards. Nobody is listening to you.

Bullfighter (2000)

Whats wrong with everybody

[7/10 · 14 November 2005]

When i rented this I had the lowest expectations possible. I was extremely surprised at how good it was. I watch hundreds of movies of year and most of them i don't like. This weekend after watching the horrible BOO and tepid sixteen years of alcohol. I found Bullfighter, the one I thought would be the worst out of the ones I rented, to in fact be the second best. ( I rented cronicas too.) I thought it was very stylish, and can't wait for this guy's next movie. He could be the next Rodriguez or Tarantino. Yeah it was a little weird, and the acting was pretty bad at times, but I liked the flash three times between scenes, I liked the elvis character, Michael parks was great, and Oliver Martinez did a good job to playing a scared little french man. The only acting that was horrid was "the angel lady" and whoever played Lila. Overall the plot was good. What really capped it for me was the Country BOb scene, where you think they're gonna run into a crazy guy but he just gets blown away. I'd give it a 7.6 if i could.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Couldn't stop laughing

[3/10 · 29 May 2005]

This is probably one of the funniest movies i've seen in a long time. Unfortunately, it's not supposed to be. I'm no sweek, but i was really hoping for this one to make up for the travesty of the other two.My hopes were high going into this one because of all of the high reviews it had been receiving. In the first 30 seconds i knew it was going to be the same crap the other two had been from the rolling cred it line "Evil is Everywhere." OOO That's really creative George, how long'd you spend coming up with that. From then on out it was cliché after cliché, along with irritatingly outdated screen transitions coming at the most inappropriate times. I couldn't stop laughing, every line was recycled crap. Anakin was just as whiny as he was in the second one, and how is it that he's twenty years older and padme's the same age she was in the first one. She should be forty, but i woulda been able to ignore this had the rest of the film been better. Everyone older than fifteen who likes this now will hate it five years from now, I guarantee it.