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Reviews
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
I was expecting a stupid movie and you did disappoint... It was lower than expected
I didn't like TFA but I wasn't expecting to enjoy this movie even less.
The story is boring, S-L-O-W and most of all POINTLESS! It's a sluggish space chase with the First Order against the Rebels. Rebels are litterally tracked even in lightspeed by the First Order with some new device, they are now out of fuel and can't escape so they just travel at boat cruise speed and the First Order shoot them until they run out of shield too. Does this go somewhere? absolutely not as in the end they just escape, that's all folks...
2h30 of this as they tried to fill the time gaps with differents character arcs. Does this go somewhere? Well what did you expect?
- Poe Dameron/Leia Organa/Holdo. Poe starts the film by being the most reckless, stupid and cringeable character, after making Mom pranks he launched a suicidal mission to destroy 1 out 5-6 dreadnoughts. He's very happy about it even if it killed hundreds of rebels in it and bomber ships. As Leia ordered him no to she slaps him, degrade him but still it seems everybody praise him foe being a good leader, yeah even Leia! What did he do in the entire film? Create a mutiny that was pointless, that's ALL. He does NOTHING MORE. How people can relate to him? He's just a dumb character.
- Finn/Rose. Finn goes on the Las Vegas of the galaxy (undetected by the First Order?) with a chick he just met out of nowhere who thinks she has something to do in the story. She's not interesting at all and is here only to create a love romance with Finn (which by the way is pointless and actually nobody care in the world). They go to find a codebreaker for the tracking device the First Order have but they fail resulting in absolutely nothing.
- Snoke/Kylo Ren : one dies without any character development, the other has no development whatsoever and still has daddy issues (yells a lot too for apparently no reason sigh...) oh and he's supposed to be the next Vador according to Snoke... as if.
- Luke/Rey : Luke has become a grumpy old man that stops being a Jedi because of a failure. Talk about responsability here, how can a jedi be so selfish? So he decides he won't help anyone and die alone as an hermit. Until he casts a spell to project himself accross the galaxy to face Kylo Ren. Once his finished he dies because he's out of energy, what a joke.
So to sum up the story leads nowhere, the characters are empty. This is the new Star Wars, plain disappointment and still rated 7/10. This is beyond painful
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
I can't call this a Star Wars movie
I just watched it and the first thing that's coming to my mind is : what the heck is this?This movie has too many plot holes, too many idiotic characters, too many stupid jokes, too many downhills...
So basically if you've seen the first trilogy that came out, the one we hold dear in our hearts (Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and The Return of the Jedi), you've seen everything in this "The Force Awakens". I mean you take the whole trilogy (and I mean TRILOGY not plot) and you put it in a 2h30 SINGLE movie! It has no personality, no originality, they just took the same script and give it to different actors (well not even all different because you have to include some fan service so everybody and every press will give it a good rate). People complained that the 2nd trilogy was bad but at least it tried something, it had an identity, it had a plot, this one has none!
Now that we covered pretty much the whole plot I will say how this Star Wars is just full of plot holes, a huge disappointment and just raises too much unanswered questions... because yes it's not bad enough that they had the most uninspired story, they had to destroy also the rest of what makes a movie : The actors. No depth, no identity and no charisma. No character development whatsoever, I felt nothing for any of them really, you had nobody to get attached to and please the acting is just plain awful. Rey, she has no family anymore and apparently they won't come back for her said the orange frog in the ridiculous rip off of the cantina so : no background. Finn has no family because abducted as a baby : no background. Solo Junior is just a crybaby who swings his lightsaber everywhere when he gets angry and has family issues because God knows why and frankly I couldn't care less because he just looks like a teenager who has lost his pony so he turned into a "Sith" (I refuse to grant him the title of a Sith Lord). Poe is Jesus, coming back from the dead other than that he's just useless. Leia is back but doesn't really do anything. So we're left with Solo and Chewie who happened to come by in the movie but if they weren't we wouldn't have much left in it because they are the only entertainment we got.
Now I am sorry but you don't come up with a movie that has such a rich universe and say : that's all folks! Seriously, the title appears and the plot lines you read contains already astonishingly gaps that the movie never fills. Okay so the First Order (kind of the Empire, nothing much of a difference so I'll call it Empire) is at war against the Republic and the Rebels because... they seek Luke Skywalker?! I know this sounds silly but they have no other relevant explanations! But how did they come back in force? What the Republic was doing in 30 years? Who's in power? There's a bigger Death Star now ready to blow not 1, not 2 but 5 planets with a single shot (I am not kidding, why being imaginative when you can take a new Death Star?) and nobody cared? Luke had a student turning to the Dark side and he just rage quit, leaving no trace of him?
And this is just the beginning because a gap of 30 years is not enough, there had to be others within the movie like the Force, is that not enough that they had to kill the myth in the Phantom Menace that they had to rape it and give it to the banthas too? Now we're back to the Force is magic but hey who gives a sh*t about the Force, now you can be a coward and annoying as hell with stupid jokes but use a lightsaber just because you can (imagine Jar Jar with a lightsaber, nobody in his right mind would want that). The Force can even control your body now! A novice with no knowledge of the Force whatsoever, who said 1 hour ago that she thought it didn't exist can now use Jedi Mind Tricks, shield her mind against a so called trained Sith and use the lightsaber for the first time against the same so called trained Sith and prevail.
How did the Yoda like creature got the lightsaber? Oh "a good question but for another time" she says...?! Now the movie is making fun of me?
How did Poe survived?
And the map? Good lord what about locating the stars, the planets around the map and setting a perimeter for searching parties? Remember Obi Wan when he tries to locate Kamino? A Padawan came up with the solution. Are the Empire and the Rebels THAT stupid? Then what became of R2? Has he become senile or something? He waits for planets to be blown off, the Empire to come back and the whole galaxy to go ape sh*t before giving the map? Not that it was already obvious since he shut down when Luke left.
All of these things have no sense at all and I could go on about these useless characters such as the commander of the fleet or the commander of the stormtroopers but it's just killing me because I realize that I wanted to like this movie...
This movie treats you like a moron and almost everybody bought it, is this the future of movies? Then we're in for some troubled times... Give me Maul, Tyranicus and Vader back please! All in all it's bad and as long as these movies get high ratings we'll have to endure such garbage in the next decade... 1 star for Chewie and Harrison Ford, 1 for Star Wars effects : How shameful.
Frozen (2013)
"The greatest" again and again... not even close.
Being a huge fan of Disney movies i got to say, they continue to be less and less entertaining.
First of all, the graphics look amazing, i loved this magical snow and the way they took shape, it was breathtaking. The characters on the other hand are realistic but i just can't stand how they make their doll faces. Is this the future of the characters? Princes and princesses being thin and handsome while others are being fat, on little legs and ugly.
Now the musics... they are boring. Seriously i couldn't notice a difference between all of them except for "Let it go" and the one between Anna and Hans. But the lyrics are forgettable, i wasn't entertained at all. I was like : "hey why did they take the same rhythm through all the movie?"
Lots of plot's gaps like : - Why shut Elsa down even from light and toys?
- Why are the trolls close to the royal family? The chief who had powers too lived with his own kin and is happy with it, why not Elsa then? Why do they look exceptionally dumb? If he could foresee the danger of her power, couldn't he see he was the reason why in first place?
- Who ruled the kingdom between the death of the parents and the coronation? No bright mind i can assure you, nobody asked himself why she stood in her bedroom as her power remained secret from even her sister.
- From where Elsa got her power?
- How everybody listens to this Weseltown guy when the princess asked for no harm?
- How does Anna knows where Elsa built her snowy castle?
- How come newly met Hans becomes warden of the kingdom?
- How come true love isn't built? How come it's just decided in a sec?
- Is it only possible to take a kingdom like Hans is doing it? He has a bunch of older brothers who'll likely enter into war after that!
- Why so much useless songs especially the snowman's and the trolls' ones? Couldn't they fill the gaps with the time used by those songs?
And the list goes on and on!!!
Depth of the characters = 0. Anna is the most dumb princess i have ever seen, of course she loved her sister but she meets a random guy, wants to marry him in a matter of hours, has been deceived then *FLASH LIGHT* another loves me so i do love him too! First of all if you love someone like this then be deceived i hardly think you can heal up that fast, she didn't even cry! Kristoff loves her so what the hell why not take the chance and kiss him, i mean how MANIPULATING of her! what kind of love is that?!
Hans is odd, he becomes the villain because there has to be one, but how has he been defeated? a punch in the face then shipped back to his kingdom... Under what laws do they live? don't they have cells in their castle? Even the Weseltown noble is more punished in the story...
Trolls no background whatsoever but i didn't care much.
Kristoff, who happens to be there, truly grows in love with Anna (i felt a bit heartbroken the way he left town after bringing Anna back, yeah no thanking, no "you can come have a hot meal", just get out... and he bravely accepts this, he just returns in the snow mountains in the middle of nowhere...). By the way, why did he say his only friends were the trolls? I recalled seeing people with him at the beginning, doesn't he have some friends in a village? He looked so alone and empty the whole movie!
Elsa who's above all the greatest character in this movie but has been completely thrown away... She sacrifices so much for the sake of the people she loves (YES SHE LOVES so why after an hour or so LOVE IS THE KEY? And bibidiba bidiboo snow goes away from love) : her childhood, her freedom, her life in her kingdom! There has to be some more to be told about her! She's a twisted character who received no love from anyone besides her sister but gives so much and all she got was get out you freak? And when she finally casts her spell out everybody becomes happy and loving? nothing logical in here!
I just don't want to talk about the snowman, he's completely irrelevant to the story and brings no fun at all, he's just some other annoying character like Jar Jar Binks. I know it's meant for kids but is that a reason to show dumb scenario? I took the price earned for this movie even more insulting! Everybody it's own opinion but stop saying it's the best Disney ever in ads, you don't decide for us because i think it's not by far : full of irrational decisions by the characters, no loving story, no true villain, it just happens and deal with it! How many people read the script and agreed on it? It's freaking me out for the other Disney movies to come...