sandyluc80 Reviews

Serenity (2005)

Huh?

[4/10 · 26 October 2005]

I don't get why people are wetting themselves with delight over this movie. My fiancé and I left the theater scratching our heads wondering why everyone in the audience was guffawing at all the lame, predictable jokes. In the end we chalked it up to low IQs.

Everything about this movie was derivative. You folks who are comparing it to the first time you saw Star Wars--which was actually original and groundbreaking-- must be suffering from exposure to toxins yourselves. Whole scenes were lifted straight from Star Wars! And the dopey dialog-- I rolled my eyes so often I got a headache.

If I'd seen this on SciFi channel or the WB, I might've been satisfied by it. But 81% fresh on rottentomatoes.com, not to mention placing in IMDb's Top 250, leaves me baffled.

The Last Dragon (1985)

Does this movie rock? Sho'NUFF!

[8/10 · 27 February 2005]

If you occasionally get nostalgic for break dancing, too much hairspray, De Barge, and Cyndi Lauper-style hair extensions, then this movie will give you an awesome blast from the past! I watched it on a Saturday morning and it made me feel like a kid again.

As many of the naysayers have already posted here, this ain't no bona fide martial arts flick. But it does make Tarantino-esque allusions to kung-fu pop culture- namely, Bruce Lee's films- that will be appreciated by 'true' kung-fu fans. And the fight scenes were co-choreographed by Ernie Reyes, Sr., so that gives them some credence.

In my opinion, the "worst" parts of this movie are actually the best because of their kitsch value: Prince protégé Vanity performs a ridiculously bad song and dance number; Leroy finds his inner "glow"; Sho'Nuff and his gang interrupt a screening of ENTER THE DRAGON; the list goes on. I think I'll watch it again next Saturday!

Camp (2003)

More awkward than high school itself

[4/10 · 18 February 2005]

Talk about irony: for a story based on the amazing talent of its characters, these kids couldn't act their way out of a bag of cheese doodles. Yeah, okay, they can sing and dance... and maybe if I was watching them in a play from 20 rows away (and couldn't see the blank looks on their faces), I might be convinced. But they sure don't belong in a film. The frustrating thing about this movie is that the most UNLIKABLE actors have the most screen time. The two or three African-American actors-- who (from what I could glean from their few lines) actually possessed screen presence-- are basically set decorations. Meanwhile, the token "straight boy" (who had my Gay-Dar buzzing from his first scene) and his many romantic interests dominate the dull, awkward plot. The musical numbers are great, but all the crap in between ruins the movie. I was surprised to see such talented producers' names (e.g. Christine Vachon) attached to such an amateurish film.