jgarner136 Reviews

Time Walker (1982)

I'm sorry I missed Joel and the bots

[7 October 2006]

My sister and I saw this movie in the theatre, and we and the other half dozen people agreed never to admit we were there or saw each other. As another reviewer said, this movie stinks out loud. I'm really sorry I missed it on MST3K.

Others have recapped the plot, so I won't bother. I believe a good writer and cast could have saved it. Unfortunately, it had neither. We spent a good bit of the movie laughing, even though it is not a comedy. I think the best thing that can be said about the acting is that I don't see how these people said their lines with straight faces. Maybe they're better actors than I thought.

*SPOILER" (?)

A word about the crystals-as the mummy collected them, he put them on a small triangular board, rather like a section of a Chinese checker board. We decided it was an old table game from a Denny's. Also, the phrase "Don't x-ray it!" has become a running joke in our family.

John Grin's Christmas (1986 TV Movie)

Excellent Adaptation

[29 September 2006]

I was lucky enough to catch "Christmas" the one time it ran on TV, and I wish it would be released on DVD. Of course, it is an adaptation of Dickens' "A Christmas Carol " with Robert Guillaume as John Grin, the Scrooge character. His son Kevin has a role as the Bob Cratchit character, with Geoffrey Holder and Ted Lange as two of the Ghosts. There are so many second-rate versions of "Christmas Carol" that seem to be around, and one of the few really good versions gets lost in a film vault somewhere. That's too bad, because this is truly a little gem of a TV movie. It was made on the heels of Guillaume's run as Benson and capitalized on that series' popularity. There is a bit of Benson's dry wit, but John Grin is not Benson. The writing is low-key and the characters well-done and interesting. Too bad we most likely won't see this one again. It's well worth the time.

Cities of the Underworld: Istanbul (2007) Season 1, Episode 0

Excellent tour of historic Istanbul

[9/10 · 17 September 2006]

I happened to catch this show, oddly enough, in the emergency room of our local hospital where I was waiting for the outcome of a family emergency. As we waited we watched Istanbul unfold before us. Host Eric Geller is quite good at his job. His enthusiasm for history and discovering what lies under the modern city is very contagious. And, his disappointment at not being able to go further into the ruins of the Hippodrome made me feel disappointed, too.

The only off note is that the meetings with various city officials and archeologists seemed a bit contrived, as I suppose they were. No one is going to let a camera crew go somewhere and get hurt and show it on TV, at least in a program of this sort.

On the whole, Mr. Geller made me want to go off to Istanbul and find the sites he went to and talk to the people who live in the houses and work in the shops, especially the rug market over the cistern.

The Phoenix (1981–1982)

Another "Phoenix" fan

[24 April 2006]

"The Phoenix" was a very good, very gentle series that was ended too soon. Judson Scott was perfect as Bennu, the man from the stars. Scott has a gentleness of spirit that suited Bennu. Regrettably, the production values of the series were lacking, and as a result, the episodes sometimes looked clumsy or cheesy, and I think this had a lot to do with the decision to cancel the series. After all these years, I still miss Bennu.

Bennu and his partner were put in a sort of suspended animation, set to awake at a certain time, and with the means to "catch up" to the current time. Unfortunately, his partner had already been taken by grave robbers, and when archaeologists opened Bennu's crypt, the technology that would have helped Bennu was destroyed. Then, Bennu had to run to avoid both the Peruvians and the Government agents, who both want him, but for vastly different reasons. As Bennu traveled, he met and helped many different people, always with wisdom and gentleness, avoiding violence.

Having seen "The Phoenix" from pilot to end, I truly wish that someone would put this exceptional, but short, series on DVD.

Mod Squad (1968–1973)

Julie Barnes was my idol

[4 August 2005]

Watching this show as a teenager, Julie was my idol; hip, intelligent, beautiful, with a cool job, great clothes, and hot guy friends.

Seriously, Mod Squad was a well-done show with interesting characters. When Aaron Spelling, with Danny Thomas and Sheldon Leonard, ran the show, it was very good. Later, when Harve Bennett replaced Spelling, it went down a bit, but was still worth watching just for the stars: Michael Cole, Clarence Williams III, and Peggy Lipton. No insult intended for the stars of the movie, but these three will always be the Mod Squad, with Tige Andrews as Captain Greer. I would still rather watch episodes of the show than the movie.

For a young girl living in a small town, Mod Squad was a window into another world, giving me a glimpse of life outside my boundaries. What I learned about being cool back then, I learned from Julie Barnes.

The King's Whore (1990)

Could have been great

[5/10 · 15 March 2005]

The best part of sitting through this movie was Timothy Dalton. The worst part was the character he played.

"The King's Whore" could have been a great movie. It had a lot of good things going for it, but somewhere along the way it got boring. The characters even seemed to get bored and quit trying to carry the script. Or maybe the script just went on too long. Either way, the movie didn't end. It just quit.

*May Contain Spoilers*

The beginning of the movie was very good. We meet Jean and Charles, the man she marries, and see her meet the king, and the king becoming obsessed with her. She tries to avoid him, to no avail.

The king was so obsessed by Jean that he let everything else go, and ends up committing suicide. Jean loses her husband and son, even though the only reason she became the king's mistress was to keep the family in good graces. She ends up alone.

The middle of the movie is simply silly.

The only redeeming thing in the whole movie is Timothy Dalton in costume. Too bad the character he plays is so lame.