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Hotel Rwanda (2004)
5/10
Dumbed-down, sentimental, superficial version of history
24 February 2006
The only possible explanation I can think of for the high regard and score for this film is that people are reviewing the theme, or the intentions, rather than the movie itself.

I found the script incredibly puerile. I felt embarrassed for the actors having to say lines like "How can people be so cruel?" or Joaquin Phoenix exclaiming "I feel so ashamed" because a porter holds an umbrella over his head.

It was no surprise to learn that the writer, an editor, wrote it in his spare time, and had not written anything before. There are no rounded characters, only mouthpieces for the humanitarian message that the writers are trying to convey.

The story is decent enough, and there are some effective scenes such as a convoy of vehicles driving into an ambush, but all of these play better with the sound down. The dialog was more suited to a Steven Seagal action movie than a fact-based movie with serious pretensions. The director resorted too easily to slushy music to tell the audience how to feel. And the characters were paper-thin: the hero who loves children and animals, the angelic aid worker, the cowardly bad guys.

Given the subject matter, this review will probably come across as mealy-mouthed and uncharitable. But this is a site for reviewing movies, not causes.
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King Kong (2005)
5/10
Jackson claims to be a fan of the original film, but he is really just a fan of himself.
20 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
1 The studio executives. Their accents reminded me of the English kids in Bugsy Malone trying to do Jimmy Cagney impressions. 2 Jack Black. He is a bug-eyed comedian, not an actor. 3 Really, really, bad comic timing and set-ups. 4 Peter Jackson in-jokes that are supposed to be hilarious but come off as smug, like the Sumatran Rat Monkey in the cargo hold 5 The egotistical actor with posters of himself in his cabin. Is this a major Hollywood film, or is this Christmas panto? 6 Where is this mystery island? The natives are variously black, Australasian, and white in black-face. For a place that is not on the map it sure is a melting pot. 7 I struggled for ages to think what the "running away from dinosaurs" scene reminded me of. Finally it came to me: it's the dance they do in Madness's "House of Fun" video. 8 The burlesque routine that Naomi Watts does for Kong is supposed to be endearing, but is just embarrassing. 9 The script is so poor that they have to shoehorn in quotes from Joseph Conrad, which stick out like pearls in you-know-what. 10 The plot is just an excuse for Jackson to show off. He claims to be a fan of the original film, but he appears to be just a fan of himself. 5 out of 10 for the special effects.
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The Prophecy (1995)
3/10
Are you people on crack? This movie is cack!
4 January 2005
It's pretentious, overblown twaddle. The acting is ludicrous. The plot hinges on a string of unlikely events and vacant characters.

At one point, someone falls out of an upstairs window and is hit by a speeding car, which then has to slam on its brakes and stops just before a brick wall. No-one asks why a car was going so fast up a blind alley, or at exactly what point the driver was going to hit his brakes in the event that someone hadn't dropped in front of him. The movie is full of nonsensical setups like this.

Gregory Widen has a Citizen Kane attitude, and a Plan 9 from Outer Space ability.
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