j3thr0s Reviews

Holidate (2020)

Absolutely atrocious

[2/10 · 17 November 2023]

This film does nothing right. The plot is so tenuous and doesn't stand up to any scrutiny. The dialogue is garbage all the way through and the characters are tiresome attention seekers. Sloane in particular is absolutely insufferable - why would anyone want to put up with her? Almost every word out of her mouth is accompanied by an eye roll or sarcastic tone.

In a genre where the standards aren't exactly high, this movie still manages to limbo under the bar. It isn't funny and it isn't romantic. It is often quite painful to watch. The supporting cast are cartoonish and their contributions often cringeworthy.

It's not bad in a funny way either, it's mostly just very boring.

21 (2008)

Smug, nonsensical and poorly written

[3/10 · 11 August 2023]

Did you know the protagonist is the smartest person in history? Of course you did, because the film makes sure to tell you every 5 minutes. It wants you to be in awe of every little thing he does, no matter how mundane.

This film is a rough watch - on a number of occasions the dialogue made me physically wince ("I scored the prettiest girl in school", yikes). The 'banter' is painful and the film is anchored by the least charismatic leading man performance I can ever remember seeing. Most of the characters are caricatures - the excessively nerdy friends, the comically spiteful and jealous colleague, the girl who exists just for him to have a forced romance with, Spacey's moustache-twirling villain. Also, none of the actors playing 21 year olds look plausibly 21.

I wanted to enjoy it because it has the makings of a fun story but it was a struggle and a lot of it did not make sense. Despite the success of card counting hinging on keeping a low profile, the characters did anything but and were practically begging to be caught.

Give this one a miss.

Bull (2021)

Dull, miserable and unsatisfying

[3/10 · 9 August 2023]

A film entirely about nasty, puddle-deep characters doing nasty things to one another. There's nobody to root for because they're all just awful. Bull was clearly a horrible bloke even in the flashbacks. There's no depth to the story and it's very predictable right up until the revelation at the end which is so silly, I actually wished it had been more predictable.

The acting is fine - Maskell plays a serviceable mobster hell-bent on revenge, but it's just very hard to care about any of it. It somehow manages to be consistently boring despite the action and extreme violence. I don't think it'll ever cross my mind again.

Inside the Mind of a Cat (2022)

Moderately interesting, if a little cutesy and overly long

[6/10 · 18 August 2022]

This documentary taught me some things I didn't know and helped me understand my cat slightly better. However, it dragged at times and the volume of information disseminated could probably have fit into an episode of Explained.

Dead Pixels (2019–2021)

Moderately funny but lacking substance

[6/10 · 8 June 2022]

This show is about two misanthropic, self-loathing recluses who spend all their time playing an online game together and treating their friends very poorly.

It's not bad and it has some really funny moments, but overall it lacks the depth and variety of, for example, Fresh Meat. The childish, petulant and selfish behaviour of Megan and Nicky gets a little wearing and repetitive and you do wonder why Alison or Russell would put up with them at all. In particular, Megan's incessant graphic and generally quite weird descriptions of how horny she is just aren't very funny.

In summary, it's somewhat enjoyable but quite forgettable.

Escape Room (I) (2019)

Poorly written and unsatisfying

[4/10 · 20 May 2022]

A fun (if not especially original) premise let down by dull one-dimensional characters, clunky, illogical dialogue and a laughably silly ending. Worse than the other films and TV it resembles (Saw, Cube, Belko Experiment, Squid Game).