My_Nymphetamine Reviews

Delta Delta Die! (2003 Video)

Lovely Bliss! Julie & Brinke at it again!

[9/10 · 15 March 2005]

Gotta love it! Sorrority girls, cannibalism, nudity, fake gore, Julie Strain and Brinke Stevens! What else could a B fan want? This movie has it all, and is a non-stop laugh.

*Spoilers* The Delta Delta Pies are yummy....and made from young college boys! No wonder they taste so good. :-) Mother Fitch (Strain) leads a pack of bloodthirsty sorority girls with one thing on their mind....making guys into pies for their annual bake-off. But an ex sister (Stevens) and a meddling student (Joe Dain) are out to put a stop to the madness once and for all. It's a cat-fight to the death between Brinke and Julie, and which side will win? A must have for any B fan, A+++

Knocking on Death's Door (1999)

Has Twin Peaks Made a Comeback?

[5/10 · 23 January 2005]

Either you will love or hate this movie, depending on if you are a Twin Peaks fan. For a good chunk of the movie, I was really wondering if I had stepped upon a lost episode.

Brad and Danielle are parapsychologists newlyweds who have just purchased Sunset House. The house is (of course) haunted by an autistic boy named Samuel. Samuel gets slightly perturbed when people have sex, which is a major downer for the couple. Their boss want's this phenomena documented, but Danielle seems to be a little camera shy. Presumably, it has something to to with the fact she just found out she is with child.

Watch for David Carradine as the town doctor with a dirty little secret. Hand's down, his acting is the best in the movie, but even he can't save the flick from gravitating towards sci-fi soap opera. Once almost longs for Uma Thurman to jump out and kick some ass with her sword.

Roger Corman is listed as executive producer, and it appears he's getting soft. Gone are the hard-core violence and nudity of his earlier films, only to be replaced by emotional fluff. Humanoids From The Deep kept viewers creeped out with suspense, whereas this has you giggling from the cliché camp haunting crap. Piano playing itself, mirrored reflections, paths of light....please. Maybe someone should have called in David Lynch. At least you;d be guaranteed decent sex scenes.

However, this movie isn't entirely crap. It has a cool sense of camp value, and is worthing watching once. Just just don't expect to hear about poor Laura all wrapped in plastic. She's not mentioned, I checked.

Hell Asylum (2002 Video)

Only Full Moon would rip off MTV

[3/10 · 23 January 2005]

Yes, that's right. America has gotten so low we are copying MTV smut as possible entertainment. Remember Fear? The MTV reality show where contestants get a bunch of money if they make it through the night in some haunted place while cameras role and video tape them being scared witless? The show was short-lived, but stylishly creepy. (Which is probably why MTV canceled it...)Same premise here, just executed horribly.

The gore is of fake it's pathetic. I'm talking watered-down ketchup for blood, ramen noodles for guts. One wonders if they raided their kitchen cabinets to supplement the budget. Deaths occur either off stage or at hyper-speed, presumably to look more realistic. How else could you get away with leftover Chinese passing as your intestines? I wasn't expecting much of the acting, especially from Full Moon. Don't get me wrong, they make great campy movies, but sometimes one can really see where the casting couch was pushed in there.. Tanya Dempsey is as pleasant as a walrus with hemorrhoids, which is an improvement over most of her performances. The chick that plays Stacy is so annoying you gasp with relief as she is being torn apart. The only bright spot here is Sunny Lombardo as the requisite goth girl. She had a bit part in Ted Bundy, and is proving to be a genuine presence.

If you want something to giggle over popcorn and beer, pop this in, but don't expect much. Even them I'm not sure you won't be disappointed.