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Reviews
Law & Order: Organized Crime: The Christmas Episode (2021)
A massive segue from the ongoing storyline
I've been watching this series from the beginning. Each series has an ongoing story so I had to double-check I was on the right season as this ep has nothing to do with season 2 storyline and everything to do with season 1. (All of a sudden, without notice, it's switched back.) Highly confusing! (and why not put it in season 1?) Though it could well be a crossover ep of an ep of svu I haven't got to yet. But once you get over that, it is actually watchable as a one-shot episode. Nice to see Tamara Taylor and Dylan McDermott back. They were the best of the first season. Hopefully this was an actual one off and they can get back to order.
Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)
A missed opportunity to be better than the first.
Loved the first one and looked forward to this for so long. Unfortunately found the comedy in this one less funny, mainly due to recycled jokes (most others feel forced) and, as much as I loved her in the first one, Salma Hayek (or rather her accent) , which, due to its thickness, you have trouble understanding so most of her jokes fall flat. Also she talks so fast at times its grating after a while. I think less is more when it comes to her character. I would've preferred to see more of Elodie Yung as Amelia from the last film, but nothing is mentioned of her at all. All in all they tried too hard to make it as funny as the first one but I guess they couldn't think of any original jokes to keep it fresh. Shame as this could've been as good as the first with a bit more thought. I rate it a 7 for the stellar cast alone.
Strangers (2018)
John Simm deserves so much better.
From the first episode I thought this was surprisingly badly made. If it wasn't for John Simm, I wouldn't have endured through another 3 episodes before giving up. The script is beyond bad and the Japanese actors, bar the daughter, are devoid of any facial and vocal emotion. How it gained a prime-time slot is beyond me. Yes, there are intriguing elements but the pacing is so slow I can't even be bothered to find out what happens. Yawn.
Nurse 3-D (2013)
Basically a cheap and bad 'Porn-Horror'
For a movie that relies upon the attractiveness of the lead actress, apologies, but her first scene I thought she WAS a 'man in drag' as another reviewer put it. Completely unattractive facially, her body may be alluring but this film seems to think the only part of a woman a man is interested in is her 'rack'. Her face has nothing to do with it!?
My one pet hate in a film is bad acting. For a film to work, the main actress/actor had to be able to connect with the audience. The fact she in no way can act and even the way she talks is robotic...is this meant to warm her to the audience?
I agree with the other reviewer that said the role was obviously created for Paz De La Huerta. God knows why, unless it was to prove she has nothing to offer the acting world.
Despite good production values, I only managed to watch 10 mins before the over-use of nudity and bad acting from said actress made me turn off.
More like a cheap Porn-trying-to-be-Horror film, it's completely gratuitous and sexist in every way possible and may have meant to have been a light-hearted take on it, but if the acting and script had been up to scratch, it wouldn't have bothered me and I probably would've made it to the end.
Along with Apartment 1303, this tops the worst of the worst for bad acting (by a lead actor/actress) in horror. Infuriating and disappointing, cos it could've been so much fun. Shame.