saturn-18 Reviews

Alien Trespass (2009)

Straight to Landfill?

[3/10 · 1 April 2009]

Easily the worst movie I've seen in the past 10 years. Luckily I attended a free screening for this dog.

It seems that they tried to make a cross between a 1950's style movie and camp, and the plan was to accomplish this with poor writing and bad acting. A complete throwback style would have been interesting, and camp requires wit. Unfortunately the movie creators failed on both counts.

Because of the type of movie this is, the plot is inconsequential, it's all about the style and humor that is used to make it. Another example of a good idea but poor execution. At first I'd recommend straight to DVD, but after further rumination, they should just dump it in a landfill.

Funny Games (2007)

Disgustingly Sadistic yet Poorly Written

[1/10 · 5 July 2008]

OK, I admit that I'm not a fan of sadistic movies, but this one isn't like a Friday the 13th, it's meant to be serious. That being said this movie should have been 30 minutes long.

Wait, this just in, I'm writing this while watching the movie. What the hell is the "rewind"! Good Lord this is a horrible movie. Anyway, those painfully, frustratingly, slow scenes could all be cut in half time wise and the movie could still be just as bad, losing none of it's suckiness.

What is the point of this movie, the plot? Psychos inflict pain and terror, kill and murder for no reason, and get away with it. Wow, the feel good movie of the year! And don't they know you don't kill dogs and children in movies? Sorry if I spoiled the movie with that, but you'll thank me in the end. Unless you are a fan of sadism and perversion, in that case, go nuts.