anomis_ananda Reviews

London Fields (2018)

I'd give it a 0, but it's not an option

[1/10 · 21 February 2021]

25 minutes in and I'm bored AF. Feels like the best action these people give, is smoking. Lead is pretty, but that's about it, as her acting is beyond poor. She'd be a good model, but I'd never hire her for movies again.

Don't waste your time on this one. I can't even follow the story as it's soooooooo boring I wish to just drop it every 5 seconds.

I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016)

So slow and so boring...

[1/10 · 9 September 2020]

This movie is so slow and so exhaustingly boring, that I fell asleep three times and had to rewind it to catch up. The thing is, since it's so slow, I didn't even miss much happening.

Anyway. Aside from that, the entire story is beyond dull! It doesn't even tell a story. There's this old writer, right? And this nurse gets hired to look after her. The writer keeps calling he "Polly" and she starts asking who on Earth is Polly only after 11 months of being called so. Who wrote that?!

Then we have the investigation of who Polly is. The nurse is encouraged to read a book by the author, so she can find out about Polly. Turns out Polly is a ghost who lives in the house. She's the ghost of a young woman, who got killed ages ago, but it never becomes clear why. A vague story of the house's first owners is told, which says of a man who built the house with his own hands. He then married a woman and they vanished on their wedding day, before even moving in. The viewer is left tho think if the two stories are connected and if Polly and the bride are the same person. Never really cleared out who, what, why...

I honestly hope this was a gigantic metaphor, which I just couldn't get. Still, it doesn't change the fact that it bored me beyond anything I've ever seen. The entire movie seemed like it was in slow motion! I wanted to raise the speed like x16 in order to make it watchable. So phlegmatic!

Twin Murders: The Silence of the White City (2019)

Not bad, not terrible.

[5/10 · 7 September 2020]

Honestly, it started off really well. Really good idea, with a nice development... But it seemed shallow and some of the things were quite the cliché. It reminded me somehow of the first part of the Millennium trilogy, with the biblical cases and all... But there were a lot of plot holes as in nobody really dug deep into the psyche of the perpetrator, neither asked the right questions, which would show how exactly he thinks. For instance, the detectives never asked or said where the victims were kidnapped from, how long were they held alive for, did the perp just take them and kill them right away, or keep them for a day or two, which is important go understand his character and how much he hates the image of the people he chooses. It was actually rather stupid to just show that the perp picks them just by the age, as that doesn't really leave any place to narrow possible victims down to a limited number - they could have never caught him, if it was just pure deduction, as it is IRL. Would have been pure coincidence, yet they somehow got to the initial murder and linked it to the rest, even though the MO had nothing to do with the rest, and he knew only the last two... It's a question of some research to put up a decent detective-murder story and this one really didn't show an accurate or logical route. It seemed that the author was more busy in showing the sexual tension between the two detectives. I also didn't really understand what's the entire story behind the male detective's nickname and why was it important to reveal to the public that he was the identity behind that nickname - it didn't change anything... Overall, nice watch for people who like to watch something just to fill time, but from the point of a thriller movie fan it was quite mediocre. And the ending seemed opened as if there will be a sequel, which most likely will be, as I saw it's a part of a book trilogy.

365 Days (2020)

The Polish spin off of 50 shades?

[3/10 · 11 June 2020]

Well, it's bad. I mean, 50 shades was bad and cheesy enough, and this doesn't hit far from it. It's slightly less cheesy as the story actually rings a truth to it - rich guy is a mobster and the hot girl falls for him after he starts lavishing her with his cash. The thing is that it's supposed to show the female character as a strong and independent woman, but the psychological aspect is of one frail, inconsistent and insecure little girl. Honestly, it's just another boring "Cinderella meets lorno" story. Bad. Thumbs up for some of the actors though.

Another Life (2019–2021)

Space explorers? More like amateurs!

[3/10 · 7 June 2020]

There are so many things that are wrong with this show and its plot, that a 3 star rating is a compliment! It's like NASA sent a crew of completely incompetent people to solve one of humanity's most important missions!

First, you have a coup, based on male ego vs girl power, that goes horribly wrong. If that actually happens even on a plane, the entire crew would be dead in a matter of seconds. That wouldn't actually happen on a space station though, because people in that profession know what authority means and that whomever is given that, most likely has the brains to make better decisions than everyone on that crew! Not only that, an egomaniac like the one doing the coop wouldn't be there in the first place, as he wouldn't pass the psych tests!

Then, you get these morons going to a planet with breathable air and the first thing they do, is to skip all health risk protocols and just expose themselves to the air! Huge plot hole!!! So, these morons then catch a virus and spread it to the entire crew, but hey, it was the guy with the sterile soil samples who did it! What?!?

Then they wake up an astrobiologist, who tells them what the thing is in a matter of seconds, and even though the virus is airborne and everyone is infected, there are obviously people reacting to in a different way - hence the symptoms are different. Obviously there's an incubation period, because only two show symptoms. One dies in a matter of a day or two after being contaminated - not the one exposed first though. Then, they have to clean the station from themselves and that means throwing themselves out of there without even trying to look for a cure! Yet, two of the morons use the remaining HOUR to do so. The astrobiologist infects himself on purpose, even though he's already infected, and gets an immediate reaction to the virus. Like... they had a day to detect and isolate the virus, which happens... never really! And then, by a complete accident, they discover a cure - gamma rays exposure! Which actually would have left them not just sterile, but burned beyond recognition! Yet, no one has even radiation poisoning! Not even checking for one, by the way! What?!?

Then, they go back to criostasis and wake up for some inexplicable reason, like... they obviously have a navigation problem, since this happens to them a second time. No one fixes the problem, the first time, obviously.

Then, they figured out they're having a problem with resources - food, water, air, whatever. If you have resources for 6 months mission, wasn't it obvious that you will have a problem with resources after the first off course diversion?! That's space! The slightest change in course may add a few years to your mission! They find a moon that can sustain life - pretty much Earth-like environment. They find the same alien artefact that landed on Earth, emitting a similar signal and they go to explore. They decide - based on their previous experience, to ditch all protocols and just not use any protective suits, based just upon an "extensive scan" of the surface, because these morons obviously believe that all threats may be just viral - now they think so, after they had the previous experience, not because they were taught how to deal with such situations... Morons. They get high off of flowers, a guy gets integrated inside the artifact, much like in "Sphere", and they discover a huge nothing, but a bunch of giant spiders and one of the guys gets an infection on his leg. His leg gets necrotizing and the doctor gives him morphine, to get him better... On what planet that happens to the human body?! And what doctor heals infection in that way?! Please, kill me now!

Back on Earth, you have these super smart people, who are trying to solve the message from the artifact, but use a vlogger/Instagram influencer to ask her 250 million followers for help, again ditching protocol and leaking secret military information to the public, which by the way can be considered as the highest of all possible crimes - treason! Yet, no one is prosecuted as some guy from some place, sees the obvious answer in a matter of a few hours, when these super smart people bashed their brains on it for months!

I don't know if I'm gonna watch further. But the line the cook uses all the time - that he's not useless? I think the entire crew is useless! Actually every character is completely useless to this situation! If that was real life, we would have been annihilated by episode 2! These people don't have specific roles on that ship, they disobey direct orders, they disregard protocols, they jeopardize their mission and this the lives of billions on Earth... They don't even know what to do in case of any sort of extreme situation... And it's even mentioned that the useless cook is actually the son of the secretary of defense, which is corruption and an ineffective decision making, to send someone on an important intergalactic mission, because of his connections to someone.

Really. 3 out of 10 is a compliment. I'd give it 1 or even 0, if I could vote 0. But I also respect Selma Blair too much for her effort in this total bull... of a series! I don't know who wrote this, but he or she has to go back to doing research, when he or she thinks they're done on research, they should do more and even more research! Because this sounds like the work of a 3 years old! It's like making an entry to a an exhibition with masterpieces by Picasso, Dali and Goya, and you're presenting your 2 years old's mish-mash of a portrait he did in day-care! Horrible!

The Order (2019–2020)

What is this mish-mash?

[2/10 · 14 May 2020]

I was looking for something to watch and the trailer sounded cool in the beginning, but then... Wham! Werewolves!

I decided to give it a shot anyway, so I put it on. So there's this secret order in a university that's called "Belgrade" - like the capital of Serbia... The order is named to be a Hermetic order - I'm not sure if any of the creators know what this really means... I'm going to reply to my own question - no, they don't. But let's keep going anyway. So, this order deal with ceremonial magik (yes, it's actually spelled with a "k" - Google the difference). Ceremonial magik and its entire related mythology, is actually demonology - it deals with demons. Werewolves and Vampires and all that, has NOTHING to do with ceremonial magik... It's a whole different universe! The details in the first few episodes are another crazy mish-mash - sumerian cuneiform inside a medieval book about werewolves?!? I mean... this is obviously made by completely illiterate people for completely illiterate people!

Can Hollyweird produce one single piece of film or series, that isn't a total sacrilege of mixing up different mythologies, screwing up actual historical facts, and delivering some gross and very poor interpretation of a melting pot of everything mystical out there? Please, stop insulting your audience!

The 2 is because of Matt Frewer, who is always brilliant. I would have given it 0 if he wasn't in it and I could do an empty rating...

The Child (2012)

Great idea - bad... everything else!

[3/10 · 24 May 2016]

I liked the idea and the general plot twist, as it ends up being not what it starts as (just so I don't spoil this for others by sharing too much).

But everything aside from that, was absolutely horrible! Bad acting, awful screen writing job, especially when it goes for the dialogues, horrid directing with major mistakes - things the viewer already knew for a half an hour, would be made seem as the main characters' huge revelation and culmination. Just poor. To be honest, I give it a 3/10 just because the idea was good, and I am giving that to the book author. I'm amazed I made it through the movie with such patience, actually...

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

The biggest paradox in movie history

[1/10 · 26 February 2015]

Let's start with the fact that this is probably the biggest box office hit. And then add the fact that no matter how many people paid to watch this, it still has a rating of 4,2 here. And then add the fact that 4,2 out of 10 is extremely overrated for this... whatever it is, but it isn't film, since film is art.

I don't know who wrote the screenplay and I'm not even willing to read that much into the crew list, but it was horrendous! Read the books and even though they were written in an exceptionally low class way, I still enjoyed the first one - second and third were a complete pack of bull, containing the same words and lines all over again. This however, even though it kept so close to the book's storyline, was as if my 13 years-old niece had a sudden infantile hormone rush - naive, boring, immature.

The cast was ... no words. Bad acting, bad acting, bad acting. I feel sorry for Jennifer Ehle and Marcia Gay Harden, whom I completely adore, but I just guess that even the greatest of talent can't pull such a BS up - it's a mission impossible.

The director must be brain-damaged, or at least he left me so after seeing this. It looked like a really bad and cheap melodrama - something that would be aired on a very unpopular TV network, to fill the gap at 2 pm, when everyone is taking an afternoon nap.

Who was the editor?! Does that person have Taurette syndrome*?! There was this strange jumping from scene to scene, cut here - paste there, as if he and the director were on some serious drugs! It's like the editor had no idea what he was doing, having an involuntary reaction of his muscles to line up certain scenes. Or maybe it was a kid who did this, or maybe they used Icq to do it...

The plot was definitely something I would like to discuss. I know I've said I liked the first book, and it really didn't look this bad when I imagined it rolling in my head, as I was reading it. But what was the idea with the entire concept of a timid girl, that has to get a crazy rich dude, who's actually a sadistic nutjob, and tame him?! That guy was bad news since the moment they met, with the entire obsession he rushed into tracking her down and sticking up to her behind. Then, we get to the point, where she's practically begging him to beat the hell out of her, which ends up being 6 hits with a whip on her butt, and she then decides he's the worst guy ever and cries her eyes out?! What's wrong with you, girl? You didn't have enough brain to think this through and now it's his fault for being invited to smear your make-up? Not to mention the speed this entire thing evolved since the beginning...

I wonder if I write a bad fanfic of this low-standard piece of literature/motion picture, would it become a bestseller and a box office hit?

It's not that I want my money back, as much as I want those 2 hours of my life back. That was such a waste... To be honest, I'd give it a 0 if I had that option, but let's say I'm giving a 1 for the effort and work of the entire crew - they still had their time devoted, even if the result was such a disappointment. Why did I watch it? Curiosity. Curiosity killed the cat. It killed me too.

*No offense on people with Taurette syndrome - just using it as a metaphor.

Undercover (2011–2016)

The best from Bulgarian cinema I've seen lately!

[10/10 · 3 January 2013]

I've read the other user reviews and I must disagree with those who say that these TV series are bad in any way! The actors are very well suited for their parts and you can see the characters' development along with the evolution of the cast's acting skills. The plot is edgy and well written, with minor flaws, but which movie doesn't have flaws? There are a few actors/actresses who fail to depict a proper character and whose language skills while being a part of their dialogues, are purely awful (Irena Miliankova "Sunny" and Milena Nikolova "Adriana"), but the rest are doing a great job.

The screenplay is extremely close to the world of modern Bulgaria- the political games, the judicial system problems, the corruption, the underground mob hiding behind the dirty world of business, the drug markets... Whoever says this is far away from our reality, is someone who lives in a pink soap bubble and has no real idea about the contemporary world in our country! Even some of the scenes are based on actual events and scandals, involving famous political figures and mob bosses.

I give it a 9/10 because I know it's not perfect, but it still is the best from Bulgarian cinema I've seen since the mid 1990's.

Stuklen dom (2010–2012)

too bad to say the least!

[2/10 · 24 June 2012]

I saw the whole TV series, because my mom got hooked and we've decided we'd better watch some Bulgarian show, rather than what was on TV at the same time. I deeply regret the waste of time.

I don't know how to qualify the very poor acting, with the minor exceptions of the "old-school" actors, such as Stefan Danailov, Stefka Yanorova, Krasimir Rankov and Yulian Vergov.

the characters were shallow; the way some of the young "actors" spoke was beyond annoying; the plot was easy to predict; most of the action sequences were impossible, fake, over-dramatized and badly written- it's impossible for the character of a regular Joe to survive all the bad-ass scenes he was put through, especially when he had no training and is a spoiled rich kid! come on! some of the characters were too naively played and had no development. the whole series sounded to me as if I was watching a Korean soap opera, with the small difference that Koreans build their characters better and have a more appropriate background for them! there were good moments, when it comes to the director's skills, but at one point the whole slow-motion in the middle of an action scene became too much. also, if I've missed an episode it was never crucial and I could always see I didn't miss a thing- I'd pick up right where I left it, even though there were one or two or even three consecutive episodes I've missed.

I liked the final episode, though: first, because it was The final episode; and second, because it had a nice twist to the story in the end, though it reminded me somehow of the ending in movies like "Heist", "Flypaper" and "Flawless". this shows, once again, that we, Bulgarians, have no personal style when it comes to TV/cinema

HDSP: Hunting Down Small Predators (2010)

it was OK, not bad, but not that good either

[5/10 · 24 June 2012]

I was pleasantly surprised to see some good acting in a very long time, in modern Bulgarian cinema. I saw a Bulgarian movie which uses slang words, but they sound good- in other modern movies the speech of the actors is pretty annoying. the movie was interesting, the script had a good idea. I like movies which jump time and events, so that in the end the viewer comes to see that all the characters are involved together in a bigger picture. I liked the way the title was carefully chosen to go with the plot and how it developed by the end of the movie.

what I didn't like was the slow movement of the events, the long introduction of the characters and the repetition of some scenes- they could have been shown as a different point of view, but not the exact same scene shown twice. I also didn't like that almost the whole soundtrack was made by one single band, which is not by the taste of many people. to be honest, Ostava has poor songs, poor lyrics and the voice of the leading singer is a pale copy of Placebo's vocalist. also, this is yet another Bulgarian movie which tries to copy the works of Tarantino- yes, he is a big influence, but personal style is what makes the true artist and I judge about that not only by some of the scenes, but also because of some of the original music scores.

other than that, the movie pretty well captures the times we're currently living in. I rate it 5/10 because it was mediocre in most ways, though better than many other Bulgarian movies out now, which I'd rate 2 or 3/10- the movie directors, actors, screen writers in Bulgaria have a lot more to learn until they reach the place in time when they can ask for a bigger audience and higher budget- they have to find themselves first.

Taxi 3 (2003)

I Think It's Very Good!

[8/10 · 1 December 2005]

I like this movie very much! While other movie makers can do a sequel and the future parts of that movie can turn out to be crap, I think this one is very good! I like french comedies better than American and English, because it has real sense of humor. Unlike the french ones, the American comedies seem so dull, out of meaning and place, and as I began to realize nowadays, Americans are honest thieves of wonderful comedies, thrillers and horrors like "Les Visiteurs"(Just Visiting"), "Taxi"("Taxy NY") and a lot more or the Japanese "Ringu", "Ringu 2"("The Ring", "The Ring Two") or "The Grudge". I think that in the comedian genre the french are the best. As it comes to English comedies, we all start to think about Benny Hill, Mr. Bean or Rowan Atkinson, or all other crap with weird laugh in background! Besides Luc Besson is a great director and a true movie fan would just sit in front the TV or the Widescreen in the theater and will enjoy watching it. The screenplay is very good too. Not excellent, but very good. There are some bad moments, like the whole Bai Ling character could have been better built.

Basically, that's all. Excuse me if I wrote my comment in not that good English!

Thanks

Anomis