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Reviews
Dead Clowns (2004)
Awful. Terrible. Boring. Furthest thing from scary. Laughable.
Stay away from this movie. The filmmakers don't know the first thing about creating suspense or fright. Why wouldn't you have the actors scream? They're being attacked by zombie clowns, for frick's sake! One guy wouldn't even scream as his arm was being sawed off. Maybe the actor knew how horrid the movie was right from the get-go. The pacing is ludicrously slow and plodding. No one is going to be scared by this or even find this entertaining. I love my zombie movies and was looking forward to this as the mythology of it seemed amazing. Clowns left to die under water. Very cool. But it's this script should've been left there. That would've been cooler.
I know I gave this 1 out of ten but that's only because I couldn't find the -36 on the scale.
Ham & Cheese (2004)
A Most Excellent Ab Workout!
One of the funniest movies I have ever seen! You're going to cringe, giggle, pity people, and laugh hysterically all at the same time. Warren Sonoda's got it going on for keeping the pacing quick and Jason Jones and Mike Beaver deserve huge kudos for the writing. Too much fun. One of the greatest things about this movie is that the cameos aren't just "look-who-I-got-to-show-up-on-set" cameos, their all real part. Dave Foley and Scott Thompson are freakishly funny in their parts as a dink acting teacher and bastard director. Scene to not drink milk during: Barry Goodson (Jason Jones) dawning a really terrible Aussie accent during a commercial audition that he won't leave.