tubamonkey09 Reviews

Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005)

The antithesis of pretentious film making

[2/10 · 10 July 2012]

This movie was one of the biggest loads of pretentious indie garbage I've seen in a long time. The episode of south park comes to mind in which the "progressive" adults smell their own farts. Miranda July must have over-dosed on her own farts, and then made this film.

Miranda July directs and stars in this film that is supposed to show how quirky and strange everyday people can be, but only ends up trying too hard to be unique. This film is like a metaphorical infant, crying and throwing a tantrum when the audience doesn't give it enough attention.

If you want to see Miranda July pretend to be interesting and unique and special on camera, go ahead and take a look. Otherwise skip this trash and go with something else.

Drive (I) (2011)

A cowboy movie where the mustangs are cars

[8/10 · 10 July 2012]

This film was a surprising refreshment to the movies that seem to spew from rich production companies like a BP oil spill. The story is simple and resembles old cowboy classics like "Shane". Basically lone stranger meets homestead, husband has issues with the bad guys, and the stranger takes care of the issues. Take this template, add some sports cars, great acting, beautiful cinematography, and an effective soundtrack and you have "Drive".

The first thing that grabs you is the cinematography. The audience sees the city cloaked in shadows and a lone driver preparing for a heist. Then suddenly the soundtrack. The songs are mechanical and cold which compliments the driver and the hum of the car's engine.

The movie is an experience and even though script-wise it is nothing new, it is still a great film that adds more value to the "car chase" genre that has otherwise been monopolized and bogged down by movie such as "The Fast and the Furious".

I would recommend this film to any film lover, and even purchased the DVD for my personal collection. I rate this as a deserving 8 out of 10.

Savages (I) (2012)

Absolutely awful.

[1/10 · 10 July 2012]

Oliver Stone has a reputation of excellent film making (Natural Born Killers, Platoon), but what I saw in the movie theater last night was easily one of the worst films I've ever seen in my entire life.

First the characters are two dimensional. The two male leads are introduced as basically "the tough guy" and the "sensitive guy". Their performances were mediocre at best. Taylor Klitsch was dry and brought nothing special to the role. The female lead "O" (Blake Lively) seems to have nothing particularly interesting about her, and her voice narrating makes the sound of a root canal suddenly more appetizing. Stone wants the audience to view these three characters as heroes, but I don't see it. The characters don't do anything significant they just grow weed, smoke weed, and have sex. Stone tries to get the audience on our side when he presents the benefits of marijuana but instead it comes across as 20-30 minutes of "legalize" propaganda followed by 10 minutes of renewable energy information.

Speaking of propaganda, the political and social themes in this movie are about as subtle as prison rape. It seems that instead of making a film about a group of people who live an alternative lifestyle, Stone has created a film about alternative lifestyles featuring some people. Blake Lively narrates a sort of montage of the marijuana industry, where all the minor characters are young, wealthy, and attractive, not to mention that marijuana is portrayed as a lifestyle, dare I say religion. Was this movie supposed to be realistic at some point? I don't know if I should have been eating popcorn in the theater or weaving a hemp bracelet.

AHHH but the trailer has guns! It features violence! Well... sort of.... just when you think the movie will redeem itself with some guns blazing action it simply doesn't deliver on this either. There are a few explosions that any high-schooler with an M-80 could pull off in their garage, some CGI blood, and the only good violent scene is so late in the movie that the audience doesn't react.

I don't understand where these millions of dollars went because they weren't in this movie, either Oliver Stone is a terrible film maker or an awesome crook. Terrible acting, terrible action, terrible script, absolutely TERRIBLE. Save yourself the aggravation and skip this movie. I haven't been this upset with cinema since Bill Murray did Garfield. I feel so strongly about this film that I will never spend my money on another Oliver Stone movie ever again.