atari_saturna Reviews

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

Could have been so much more

[6/10 · 1 July 2023]

Well for a sendoff movie it isn't really that good. Has no real memorable scenes, say what you want about Crystal Skull but that had some great action setpieces. The train opening could have been great but that(and sorta the whole movie) has some kind of CGI-feel to it. It looks like playing a videogame at times and a bit cheap, which is weird since it has a huge budget. The mcguffin is kind of ineteresting but a really underdeveloped one. The story is very tired consisting mostly of finding item, get caught, escape, retrive item etc. The runtime is also at least 40min too long for a story this thin. They have also shoehorned in some legacy characters which doesn't really do anything besides some fan-service.

The main actors are fine, Ford is in fantastic shape for his age and they have tried to take his age into account in the story. Phoebe is fine but plays sort of an annoying character which is hard to root for since she is loud and rude most of the time but it's played like it's supposed to be charming. Same can be said for her kid sidekick.

The two standout characters are Banderas underutilized diver which should have ´had a lot more screentime and Mads Mikkelsen who as usual is doing a stellar cold bad guy job and is also gifted with the best dialogue in the movie.

In conclusion I would say this is one of the weaker Indy films unfortunately and what really let's it down is the script. I have to say though that the last act is great and something we have never seen before and the most interesting part of the whole film. Wish we got more of that!

The Village (2004)

The best way to get mad!

[1/10 · 13 January 2005]

Yeah...i know that my title does not sound so happy about this film!I saw The 6th Sense when it was fresh and i thought it was a really good movie and after that i saw Unbreakeble and that was kinda slow and boring but still not bad or something like that.Signs sounded exciting but i read a review in a mag saying it was a waste of time so i never saw that.Then one day i was looking at TV and the trailer for The Village comes up!From the director of the 6th sense! It said something about 3 rules like don't go int to the woods and don't wear red and don't make any noise or they will come.something like that and i thought man with Joaquin phoenix!It got to be good! And then when i was on my way home from Finland on the Ferry they showed it in the Cinema so i went to see.!CONTAINS SPOILERS!(THIS MOVIE WILL SPOIL EVERYTHING FOR YOU ANYWAY) Okay it starts and the camera films it all in kind a weird old looking way and have some similarities with The Blair Witch Project!! There's that blind girl who can't see but she runs as fast as a boy and runs the fastest...The movie is about 2 hours long and for 1 hour about nothing happen. The monsters comes to the village one time and i have to admit that it almost scared me more then The Turtles. Anyway after this it's kind of boring but then a psycho attacks Joaquin and Ivy(the blind girl) goes through the dangerous woods to town to get medicine.The Village is like a place surrounded på forest and nothing else. After gotten the medicine she is being attacked by a "monster" but she is blind so she lures it into a trap!!Now when we see and she does not we notice that the psycho guy is the monster and there were no monsters there in the first place.The movie ends. One guy is sleeping behind me and about the rest is just like can we go now?when i got out of the cinema one guy asks me: am i the only one to think that this was one of the baddest movies i have ever seen? So for Christ sake see something else!Honestly this is the most bad movie i have ever seen and with that 60 million dollar budget(the most expensive looking in the film is a hole in the ground) i think they could at least get a better camera! 0/10 Worthless as best!//Micke Finland Åland

Resident Evil (2002)

Okey film...not more - Spoilers

[22 September 2004]

As all of us i just love the RE games!but when i heard of this film i thinked...hope its someone god directing this!but when i heard Paul who has directed Mortal Kombat i almost began crying!I can tell by far that anyone could do a better film than those 2 television destroyers!not even recommended to your worst nightmare!The next thought was:has there ever been a good game to film movie?Super mario,tomb raider,street fighter,mortal kombat...all of those are really crap!!!And when i heard it wasent really based on the game(i wanted wesker!!!) and that the main character name was Alice i begun to wonder if i was ever going to see it but i became curious and i bought the film...the film starts out pretty mystic.I saw that Mila Jovovich was the main character and because of that Mila has really no acting talent and neither do the rest of the guys int RE.Luckily they almost all gets killed of that laser!Sad that Mila survives...the film goes on with all zombies,pretty boring because there could have been more different monsters except the dogs who kicks ass!and that hologram girl just sucks big time!after a lot of zombie shooting they have to catch the train back to the mansion where the film started.I haven't said the story but they got a certain amount of time before Umbrellas death factory closes.Here it all comes to glory!The Licker makes its appearance!It has done it one time before but it was not some fight he just killed a bad guy!now hes here and kills another of the bad cast guys!now its just 2 of em left!YES!!!Anyway i wanted a big tasty last fight scene....i didn't get anyone!The Licker is just to much of a pussy and dies almost right away but at least it dies originally!!!When they arrive at the mansion guys in labsuits comes and take away Mila and the other guy!The male they set in the 'Nemesis program and thats a much better way to get rid of him than just kill him so Nemesis comes in the sequel.Mila wakes up with a bunch o cabels and stuff on her,shows her snatch(!) and breaks up a card key lock with a nail...takes an ugly cout and notices its chaos outside...then she grabs the shotgun and tries to look tuff!she fails...But this film isent that crap as i thought at least!it deserves 6/10 i haven't seen the sequel yet but i think that one is greater than this,am hoping for an REAL super fight with old Nemesis!

Michael Jackson: HIStory on Film - Volume II (1997 Video)

Great...

[20 September 2004]

Okay,i start with telling about the videos in the order they appear

The statue ego MJ thing: I really liked this part,he think he is the world or something,thats really cool with the military and stuff and when the words michael jacksons History comes up,really cool! 10/10

Billie Jean(Motown 25): This video is pretty interesting in a retro suspective because its the first moonwalk but its nothing more special about it. 7/10

Beat It: Why its on HIStory Vol II i cant understand because it was on the first one but anyway i like the video,its a fresh breath of the 80ies especially that jacket but its a shame that he doesn't dance so much in it. 9/10

Liberian Girl: The song is beautiful,i really like it but the video is a little bit odd but i guess it shows like the showbusniess because its dedicated to elisabeth taylor(michaels friend)great song,odd video 6/10

Smooth Criminal(Moonwalker Version): Oh my god!this video really rocks!!!about 10 minutes long and just incredible dance moves and one of the greatest songs in HIStory ; ) it doesn't get better than this!!!(note:there is about 3 different versions of smooth criminal and the slow-mo one is really crap!) i give this 10000000/10

1995 MTV Video Music Awards Performance: At first sight it looks like something odd with that guitar solo but after slash leaves the scene it gets fantastic and MJ performs Dangerous,Billie Jean and You Are Not Alone 7/10

Thriller: This one was also on HIStory Vol I!but anyway its a real thing of beauty and is about 12 mins long and started the music video thing as a short movie!i would give it a 100/10

Disc II:

Scream(Duet with Janet and Michael Jackson): This song is really amusing and i like it really much when he has that angry voice but the video is somewhat confusing but not bad at all 9/10

Childhood: I cant remember this video being on the TV!but anyway the song is fantastic and i like the vocals!the video is pretty mystic in a good way!MJ sings about himself so!9/10

You Are Not Alone(The angel version): This was never on TV i think,the angel part was cut but its nothing special,MJ has wings standing in a waterfall.this is a beautiful song and Lisa Marie Presley whos stares in this video is to!actually she hasn't that much clothes on!its a fantastic ballad! 10/10

Earth Song: Pretty mystic name but the song is great about lands in crisis!MJ stands between 2 trees and sings!when all the rainforest is being shopped and animals dying its hard to not feel sorry! 10/10

They Don't Care About Us(Brazilian Version): A shame that the prison version didn't get on any DVD but this is good to!real good!This and Smooth Criminal(Moonwalker Version) makes this DVD rock even harder!MJ is in Brazil dancing and screaming about injustice in this excellent song with fantastic lyrics and those drums... 10/10

Stranger In Moscow: Pretty boring video in black/white where MJ singing in the rain about loneliness.but its really touching! 8/10

Blood On The Dancefloor(Refugee Camp Mix) Watch out for this remix!!!!The original song was good as hell but this spoils it all!the video is good and fun but the song is total crap,not the lyrics of course!its the remix of it that sucks! 2/10

Brace Yourself: This is not a music video!it appeared on Dangerous:The Short Films i think.Its just a video showing how BIG MJ is!the same message as in the ego statue thing!but its cool! 10/10

Highly recommended but Blood On The Dancefloor Refugee Camp Remix shouldn't be on the cd,put in the original instead!