eggbp-378-544557 Reviews

Circus Kane (2017)

Complete and utter rubbish, nothing about it is any good

[1/10 · 17 September 2017]

If you are looking for a horror film to watch, then leave this and go to your back catalogue for 2 reasons: 1) You know you will enjoy whatever you choose 2) You will not waste you time and still be unsatisfied

The only thing that stands out is the location for the filming. Everything else - the acting, the "special effects", the dreadful story, the acting (so bad it's worth noting twice), the character development is all nothing special. Like it came out of the 1980's.

Lord the characters, nothing about them was endearing and one in particular, shortly after meeting him I was already waiting for him to die - sooooo annoying. The acting was possibly what you would expect from fresh young faces who will do any job for experience and the script writing really didn't help them. The special effects, were like someone was given a bunch of plasticine and bright coloured paints, unconvincing and cheap.

As a film in it's own right it's bad, very bad but for a film trying to cash in on how popular the new IT is then it's REALLY bad.

Leave well alone.

This Is Your Death (2017)

Utter garbage

[1/10 · 16 September 2017]

If you found this film "thought provoking" and "multi-layered" then I feel sorry for you.

I was hoping for a well acted, well done take on reality TV but after the first 15 minutes is was clear that none of the above can be said about this film.

I felt embarrassed for those involved. Famke Janssen (Once Upon a Time in Venice, Blacklist / Redemption, X-Men) James Franco (Why Him? Burn Country, 127 Hours, Spider-Man 3) Josh Duhamel (Several Transformers) Sarah Wayne Callies (Prison Break, Colony, Walking Dead)

It felt like they had just finished high school drama, amazingly dismal.

Several great actors with many MANY great roles behind them, I can only presume they were blackmailed into doing this project.

The Bounce Back (2016)

REALLY poor remake (or copy)

[1/10 · 23 July 2017]

Very VERY poor remake of Hitch (2005) starring Will Smith.

Nothing original about this film, especially as it's already been done EXACTLY the same. You're better off re-watching Hitch as it has more attractive people and better acting.

Avoid, really, just stay away.

That is all, carry on.

The Saint (2017 TV Movie)

Ruined a classic

[1/10 · 14 July 2017]

Absolute rubbish.

I endured 20 minutes of this tripe before I wanted to wash my eyes and brain with bleach.

Poor acting combined with cheap looking sets and filming doth make a bad rehash. This film (and I use the term lightly) is a huge GAPING blemish on the name The Saint.

It's like someone thought it would be a great idea to do Carry On The Saint, bad lines / stupid 'jokes' delivered in abysmal style means I couldn't take this effort even vaguely serious. So much so I just HAD to come comment on just how bad it was and I don't post often. Generally only when something has affected me right to the core with just how bad it actually is.

Avoid if you even saw one episode of the original as it will ruin it for you, forever (as it actually has Roger Moore (who hasn't aged well) in it, I presume to try and add some validity to it). If you have no idea what the original The Saint is and are looking for a crappy action film with juvenile one liners then, well, maybe still avoid unless it was free and you having nothing better to do. Although even watching dry paint would be preferable in my opinion.

It is The Saint by name only, sadly.

Parasites (I) (2016)

What a pile of crud!

[1/10 · 25 January 2017]

Only either a cast / crew member or family would give 8 out of 10....

I wasted nearly an hour of my life on this dire attempt at a film and it was based on this ONE review. 8/10 Intense, gory survival horror paired with a psychological punch 9 December 2016 | by DarkAnnie

Either they watched a different film or they enjoyed it "ironically". There is nothing good about it, nothing. The story reads OK but that's where anything decent stops. The actual story, the actors, sound effects (70's synth pop), sound track (2nd rate covers of classics) and special effects all smack of struggling film student trying to branch out - fails.

Sooooo many clichés are used and used BADLY while there was NO tension in this film at all.

**** Spoiler *** An overweight, homeless guy manages to chase (while swinging a chain and whooping like a red-neck) and catch a fleeing college quarter-back. Yea, that would happen.

**** Spoiler *** Every type of racial slur is simply spat out, I presume to try and shock? Doesn't work.

**** Spoiler *** The police have a black and a white "homeless" guy at gun point, the black guy moves and guess what? Yea, "shocking" right?

**** /Spoiler ***

I don't usually write reviews (first time now) but I just had to voice my displeasure at firstly this other review and secondly this assault on decent films. I'd say this "film" (used very loosely) is equal to watching dry paint. (And yes I do mean dry paint, paint drying would of at least had some action).