tocotoco2001 Reviews

The Erotic Adventures of Zorro (1972)

Good Comedy, Bad Porno

[6/10 · 31 July 2005]

The Zorro legend has been one of the oldest stories portrayed on film. Starting with Douglas Fairbanks in 1920, over 50 adaptations of the legend have been filmed. The Erotic Adventures of Zorro, penned by exploitation legend David Friedman, combines comedy with soft-core porn to create an amusing but ultimately weary parody of Zorro films.

This being a porno film, you would expect a few things from it, namely a paper-thing plot peppered with lots of sex. However, The Erotic Adventures of Zorro defies this stereotype by inserting more comedy in it than sex, at least in the first half. Jude Farresse is hilarious as Luis Bonosario, slurring his lines with so much effort and glee that he steals every scene he's in. Gags such as a bingo game in the church where Zorro is hiding and Esteban's fighting "cock" only add to the hilarity. However, as much comedy as this movie has, it is also riddled with sex, lots of sex, and that's where this film shows it weaknesses.

The porn elements of The Erotic Adventures of Zorro are wear this film lacks. The first half of the film has very little in the way of sex, letting the comedic elements take over. However, the second half is littered with them. Its as if the producers were trying to make it up to all those who went into this movie to see a porno flick. This really drags the movie down The Erotic Adventures of Zorro is an uproarious comedy trapped into the conventions of a porn movie. Had those involved concentrated on the comedic moments of this film rather than the exploitative ones, it could of become a cult classic.

Twentynine Palms (2003)

More atmosphere than movie

[3/10 · 22 July 2005]

A photographer decides to photograph the desert around Twentynine Palms. He brings his girlfriend along with him. They have sex...lots of sex. As the trip goes on, the man becomes increasingly violent towards his girlfriend until the shocking finale. Thats Twentynine Palms in terms of plot. However, Twenynine Palms is not about the plot or the characters, but rather the desert surrounding them.

Dumont allows the desert to become its own character in the film. Its is simultaneously savage and beautiful. The atmosphere leads the already strained couple to a breaking point. The man becomes more aggressive and barbaric while the woman becomes more submissive and desperate.

Is Twentynine Palms a good movie? No. It runs too long for a movie that focuses more on atmosphere than plot. The characters are neither engaging or interesting, they seem to be there only to have sex and drive to places where a five-minute wide shot of the desert would take place. 3/10

Death of a Ninja (1982)

Confusing Mess of a film

[2/10 · 13 April 2005]

There are some movies that try so hard to hit a certain target that they miss by a mile. This movie is one of them. It tries so hard to be a martial arts epic that it kills itself in the praxes.

The basic plot of the film is that anyone who would marry Princess Ukyo would rule the world. She is already married to Lord Hanzo (ok, so why isn't he ruling the world?) A rival, Lord Danjo, enlists the help of an evil wizard named Kashin to help him win the hand of Ukyo. So Kashin sends his aides to kidnap the Princess' twin sister Kagaribi, whose tears are required to make a "love potion." That really pisses off the fiancée of Kagaribi, Jotaro, who vows bloody revenge. The rest of the story is too hard to explain.

A movie needs more than a intricate plot to be an epic. Ninja Wars accomplishes nothing. It is too confusing to entertain, and too schizophrenic to have any meaning to it at all.

Revenge of the Ninja (1983)

Bad Acting + Hilarious Dialogue + Good Fight Scenes = Revenge of the Ninja

[6/10 · 26 February 2005]

Martial Arts movies have always sacrificed acting and dialogue in favor of keeping the action constant and entertaining. Revenge of the Ninja is no exception. The fight scenes are amusing and the dialogue is absolutely hilarious, and yet this movie has enough charm to be a cult classic.

Sho Kusagi plays Cho, a doll collector(!) living in Japan. For centuries he and his family have followed the way of the ninja. However, one day a group of ninjas massacres his family. Only his grandmother and infant son survive. Following the advise of his friend, he moves to America to sell his doll collection. Little does he know that he is a pawn in a Japanese drug-smuggling ring...

The plot aside, Revenge of the Ninja acts out like a parody of ninja clichés. You got the evil ninja that manages to change into his ninja suit in the blink of an eye, a grandmother that can do backflips, and over-the-top villains that look like they just came back from a Halloween party. The film's final fight scene occurs on a Los Angeles rooftop, where the evil ninja pulls out decoys, sticks, and shrunikens; none of which he had at the start of the scene.

There are a lot of bad martial-arts out there. Some are pure trash. Others, like this one, are good for a few laughs.

Mulholland Drive (2001)

A bizarre and thrilling ride through Hollywood

[6 February 2005]

Muholland Drive is the kind of movie that everyone has a separate opinion about. It is a journey into the psyche of dreams, where we can live out our fantasies and deepest desires, only to awaken to harsh reality. It is up to the viewer to interpret that dream and attach some meaning to it.

The plot revolves around Betty, an aspiring actress in her attempt to rise to Hollywood stardom and her friendship to Camilla, another actress. As Camilla rises to stardom, her friendship with the struggling Betty begins to deteriorate. Finally, Betty decides to have Camilla killed.

David Lynch is known for the strange and disturbing imagery he places withing his films, but this is one of the few in which they all come together to make a fantastic film. Muholland Drive evokes a Hollywood in which creepy cowboys rule over the movie industry and demons live behind restaurants. Its a bizarre and thrilling ride through the city of dreams.

Catwoman (2004)

Not Too Bad

[4/10 · 30 January 2005]

Catwoman has become one of the most despised films of 2004. Critics and fans alike mauled and hissed at it, criticizing everything from Halle Berry's acting to Pitof's direction. It even got 7 Razzie nominations. However after viewing this film on DVD, I was pleasantly surprised. The film has numerous flaws but its not as bad as its made out to be.

Halle Berry plays Patience Phillips, shy artist by day, bank-robbing Catwoman by night. There is a plot, but it quickly takes a backseat to shots of Halle Berry strutting around in a S&M suit. While its not her best performance, Berry convincingly balances the two personalities of her character. Its the supporting cast where the movie begins to fall apart. Sharon Stone is terrible in her role as the villain, she either spits out her lines or overacts the entire picture. The other characters are not developed enough to care.

While one good actress can carry a decent movie, Pitof ruins the film with heavy editing and terrible use of CGI. The fight scenes are so choppy that they allow a man to stand in as Halle Berry's stunt double. Other scenes such as Catwoman on the motorcycle look like the camera was tossed in a laundry machine. And while Halle Berry looks gorgeous in the Catwoman costume, she is replaced half the time by a CGI catwoman that seems to be able to defy gravity at will. When the lead actress is the only thing a film has going for it, its best not to replace her with a digital puppet.

Overall, this film is watchable if only to see Halle Berry strut in the Catwoman costume. Other than that, its a turkey. Save your money and buy something else.