Neptune165 Reviews

The Goat Life (2024)

I'm out of words to express the beauty of the movie, the whole movie is perfect in every aspect

[8/10 · 4 September 2024]

It took Blessey 16 years to complete this film. Don't expect a commercial entertainer, u will be disappointed, this is a drama and everything about it is exceptional. I am totally emotional just see the survive of a man in such a difficult situation. Salute to the movie maker to give us such a nice and beautiful movie. The real man that's this story about him He is A great man who did not think about killing or revenge, but rather fought the sands to return to his country and family. All respect to you. After watching I couldn't control my emotions !! This movie literally hit a different level .

Assassin's Creed: Valhalla (2020 Video Game)

The combat is slow and boring, and it feels like it hasn't been updated at all to go along with a new game

[1/10 · 6 August 2024]

The enemies will somehow be able to hit you while you are attacking them, and you have little health. I completely uninstalled the game because of the controls. This setup where you don't switch weapons but have both at the same time is impossible to set up ergonomically on a keyboard. It may work for console, but its obvious the developers didn't test it on a keyboard. Assassins creed is a game heavily focused on parkour. As soon as I felt how awkward it was to climb, I knew this game was going to be a mess. The world is "big", like the vastness of space is big. A huge map with nothing but quests that make you grab things is a waste of time. I don't know who was in charge of hiring voice actors, but fire them. It sounds like a high school play. It's funny this is called a AAA game and the graphics are as bad as they are. I used to sit amazed playing assassins creed because of how good it looked on a PS3. Ubisoft is doing their best to ruin a great franchise. You CANNOT use nostalgia for previous games to get players to accept a subpar game. Innovate, or stop beating a dead horse.

Assassin's Creed: Valhalla (2020 Video Game)

One of the worst games I've ever played. The story and the graphics are fine enough, but the gameplay loop

[1/10 · 6 August 2024]

Endless bloat, uber boring sailing/traversal, and horrifically bad, floaty, buggy combat really take the wind out of the proverbial sails. This game, and if you like it you should try playing better games and then come back and reevaluate. I hate this game and I'm sad I wasted time on it. Too long. Too linear. Very mediocre story. Pointless. But with wonderful graphic (played on PS5). I spend at least 20hours, although I hate quitting unfinished things, after several attempts, I dropped this game. I'm gamer, and time invested in this game was wasted. The map is too big. The 2nd worst ac game ever existed.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)

Slow, dull, utterly boring film that just drags on and on and... on. What an utter waste of time

[3/10 · 10 July 2024]

One of the worst sequels to an amazing series. I hated how nothing translated to Caesars kids and family. Also everyone Hates it. Completely bland for first 75 mins...several people left by this time....like watching a good cartoon...Plodding, dark, and unengaging. Plot holes abound, random out of context occurrences suggest that there was another hour of footage cut that would have helped what we did see make more sense....when in actuality, the movie was at least an hour too long as presented. Good "film" Bad movie. If at home, I would have either turned it off or gotten on my phone and done something else to keep me entertained through the numerous slow parts. Maybe something will actually happen in the next one. Other than water flowing uphill to drown the bad guy, but wished we had watched something else as not a patch on previous films.

The Devil's Bath (2024)

The result is one of those films you can't stop thinking about, but might never want to see again

[2/10 · 9 July 2024]

It is terrible to contemplate the 400 similar cases that a closing title informs us are recorded in the Austrian annals. But perhaps it's even more so to imagine the many thousands more women who lived out their days exactly as they were meant to. The sheer sketchiness of Agnes's torment often reduces her emotions and experiences to dramatic shorthand for an unhappy life, as it's reductively imagined for today's enlightened viewers. Agnes isn't a person as much as she's an effigy to be destroyed, and while your sympathies will obviously vary, that won't add much depth to the movie's shallow depiction of stigma and grief. This movie's not frustrating because it's blunt or vicious, but because its creators are only so interested in a world condemning Agnes to a dire fate. Her actions may ultimately be shocking, but her story is anything but.

I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

I seriously dont know how this got positive reviews. This is disrespectful to Horror films

[1/10 · 8 July 2024]

Really brought out the worst of the worst. Not good. Painfully pretentious. A movie with nowhere to go and nothing to say. Seriously? Did people watch the same movie I did? This dud isn't just mediocre...it's downright unwatchable. The acting is absolutely awful, the story itself is just bad and poorly written. The dialogue is forced and super awkwardly seamed together. Between the poorly written dialogue and the bad acting, there's just a heavy cloud of awkwardness that definitely wasn't meant to exist. The whole film felt like a burden to get through with unlikable characters as the cherry on top of a movie that just feels like it was put together by a kid as a kid's idea of what a movie is if they'd never seen a movie. Yeah, it has a plot, it has actors, it has dialogue but that's about where the similarities end. Also, aside from the opening song, it's teeming with absolutely horrible music that randomly interrupts the non-linear plot. Do not heed these positive reviews. I have a feeling these are part of a concerted effort to push this thing but if you're over the age of 16, you will find this thing super awkward and ineffective.

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

A Rare Abandoned Movie for me

[3/10 · 5 July 2024]

I'm not sure what's happening with all the positive reviews of this flick. Let's talk about the acting first -- it's incredibly hokey, with a lot of overdone expressions like big bulging eyes that you used to see in silent movies from the 1920s, and overly melodramatic moments which really should've been dialed way back to have any sort of emotional impact. As far as Godzilla himself, a lot of times he looks great. Other times, not so much. The walking scenes, for instance, look far worse than when there was a guy in a rubber suit -- just laughably bad. And apparently, he can now put most of his entire body above water in the ocean, ignoring how physics work. (Yes, I understand that we're talking about a mythical beast here -- but you still have to abide by the physical laws that are established within that world. It's like those old Godzilla movies where he flies sideways through the air for hundreds of feet to attack another kaiju.) Mostly, though, I felt no connection to any of the characters (including the big guy) and thus was totally dialed-out for the majority of the film, save for a couple of cool-looking action sequences. I don't understand the ratings. Maybe it was just made for a niche audience. Slow, depressing, boring, nonsensical timeline, illogical plot, unfair to Godzilla, etc. I abandoned it. It came off as a typical action movie, no real ingenuity and it was rather predictable.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)

The story and characters were great. Acting was really well executed

[7/10 · 5 July 2024]

I thought it was going to be horrible, but I quite enjoyed it. I hope they make another one, but with Mad Max. I thought this was a great back story to last iteration. Maybe a bit less crazy vehicle stunts, but imo deeper story and the acting was top notch (Hemsworth and Taylor-joy ). Was into it the whole runtime. Give it a watch. It was a brutal and amazing movie, and everything I wanted from it going into it. Also, Dementus as the villain was just incredible, and Chris Hemsworth did an incredible job, and it's probably one of his best jobs as an actor. Anyways, loved the movie. For me, this is one of the very few movies I can rewatch and still love it every time. Hemsworth is so good, Taylor-Joy is so good, everyone did an awesome job.

How to Blow Up a Pipeline (2022)

Despite what the fil m makers say, this movie is a bad, sorry

[2/10 · 23 May 2024]

Highly irresponsible. It's also surprisingly slow and dull; even the final explosion was not a very interesting effect. I think the movie has some pacing issues, and I think the story would have been told better if it didn't do all character development through flashbacks. Overuse of flashbacks makes me already know everything that's going to happen anyway, and feel like the characters don't really change much, even if they do. They also used all the best scenes in the trailers. The filmmakers of this edge-of-your-seat movie have been smart enough not to try to film the book, but rather turn it into a heist picture, full of the tropes associated with the genre but mixed with a burning reason and mission to pull off an act of extreme vandalism in the name of humanity and life as we know it.

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

Garbled, derivative plot with characters who lack even a hint of charisma

[3/10 · 22 May 2024]

It has an excess of exposition which breaks the first rule of movie making - show me don't tell me. They could have condensed the entire movie into a 45 minute episode of a streaming series without losing anything of narrative importance. Borrowed too heavily from other stories to have a good plot. Use of various camera lenses for scenes was... Over the top, and out place. Honestly, made me bored. A lot of elements trigger your curiosity at the beginning but end up not delivering at all. Very painful since your curiosity keeps you watching until the end of this borefest. Also Very generic feeling sci-fi flick that didn't do anything new and didn't do anything existing in an interesting way.

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

it was space magnificent seven

[3/10 · 22 May 2024]

Flat and unclever. The characters' actions, reactions, and choices are so cartoonist illogical and counterproductive that they're unbelievable. The plot is rushed and no time is allowed for the viewer to connect. The cinematography is great though. The acting is great as well. It's simply a weak and obvious story that was poorly executed. For me it más kinda like... I'm bored, I like sci-fi, I like sci-fi in space, I like battles, I like battleships and robots, this looks interesting. The movie didn't feel bad it just feel too cliche at times. Do I hate it, not at all. Do I love it, not at all either. But if you ask me if I rather rewatch the movie again. Really felt rushed.

Le Samouraï (1967)

"Complex plot"

[3/10 · 22 May 2024]

"Richly drawn character portrait", "beautiful to look at", even plenty of people saying the main character hardly has any dialogue when he has plenty. It's a pretty drab-looking film (I understand it has a grey and blue thing going on) with a now-standard "hitman gets double-crossed" plot where the main character is just your standard stoic dead-eye who isn't even a very good hitman. If you're into French films or just checking out "classic" cinema, you might like it. Otherwise, it doesn't hold up. There are snippets where the movie begins to explore its potential, but a staggeringly dull main character and pace cloud the vision.

Le Samouraï (1967)

Boring. Like watching paint dry

[3/10 · 22 May 2024]

Was really hoping to enjoy this one, but unfortunately it did not click. I love classic films and age, for the most part, is not an issue, but this one felt dated. Alain Delon doesn't execute the "coolness" that Melville is trying to go for. The cinematography and tone of the movie is bland. I feel like there were good ideas here, but it didn't mesh into something that could've been great. Sadly, It was quite boring. There are other films that have done this story better, but I do respect this film for its influence. No idea what the fuss is about with this film, nor what all these reviews are going on about.

Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)

The title sounds real good and fun on paper

[1/10 · 21 May 2024]

This is an exploration film and you should walk into it knowing this, gore, stupid lines and a lot of violence its what you will get. A vigilante story, a theme that has been explored in better movies such as Death Wish and Taxi Driver but now with a Hobo in the lead. The film is pretty uneven, obviously it's the type of movie you will enjoy more with a couple of friends and a lot of booze, but the movie takes it's time, almost 30 minutes for things to start going crazy. There is an attempt at character and world building but with such bad performances and idiotic dialogue you just won't care. After those 30 minutes you will find what you were here for initially, violence, gore and one or two funny one liners. The visual style its full of neon colors and saturated hue, which has been done so much lately that it just feels generic. The movie at time tries way to hard to be funny.

Gran Turismo (2023)

If more people gave it a chance, they'd see that there's a lot to love here

[7/10 · 21 May 2024]

Directed by Neill Blomkamp and based on Jann Mardenborough's story, Gran Turismo is a action and motorsport movie. The films stars are Archie Madekwe, David Harbour, Djimon Hounsou and Darren Barnet. The main character, Jann Mardenborough played by Archie Madekwe is young gamer who will try to become a racing driver but . The films tells a story of a young man and his dream is to be racing driver but this is not possible financially. He likes to play Gran Turismo, he is very good and one day a tournament is organized. The 10 best player can become a professional pilot. He will be selected and he is going to give it his all to get into a stable. The plot is a little predictable but despite that it's gripping and it's easy to get into the story. The film is based on a true story and is very impressive. The special effects are outstanding, and the accidents and car races are very realistic. The photography is impressive, the quality is breathtaking and the shots are incredible and very beautiful. The acting is powerful and very touching in some scenes, and the actors manage to give to spectators emotions. The film is written simply but effectively, and we experience many emotions like joy and sadness, and the character's car races make us feel the pressure. To finish, the film is great for relaxing and watching with friends, you dive in very quickly and the pace is fast and you don't get bored.

Horizon Forbidden West: Burning Shores (2023 Video Game)

Oh no. First last of us, and now this?

[2/10 · 20 May 2024]

The Horizon series is so boring and stale like omg. The graphics are NOT outstanding. The same Ubisoft-style gameplay over and over again.

Why would anyone buy this when Monster Hunter exists?!

Save your money and get Tears of the Kingdom instead.

Was considering purchasing. But hearing the rag doll combat complaint cinches it as a no. Combat in the series is so repetitive. All machines no matter how big speed rush you. Physics? Nah. Lets pile some Hollyweird garbage in. Those weirdest thing playing this game. Just focus on the game please. Some of the worst, most heavy handed writing of the series. Weak characters, even weaker story, and PROFOUNDLY HEINOUS LEVEL DESIGN AND LEVEL DIRECTION.

Ferrari (2023)

It focused more on his relationships than on his car!!

[4/10 · 20 May 2024]

They don't tell anything about it, like they actually don't know anything at all. Should be called "50 shades of Ferrari". Lmao. First 10 minutes you know it's just going to be an awkward attempt to meet non car fans and car fans in the middle, and appease neither. It's not Ford vs Ferrari good, but then it's a different story; an interesting biopic for that time period in Enzo's life. However, I found Adam Driver's pretty poorly executed Italian accent distracting at times. Conversely, the stoicism and portrayal of Enzo's well documented absence of concern for his drivers vs his preoccupation for his cars and racing, excellent. Shailene Woodley's accent or should I say, lack of an accent, made it very hard to take her portrayal seriously. The interaction between Driver and Woodley's characters was also less than moving or memorable. Penelope Cruz's performance, however, throughout the film, was the most stellar aspect of the story, from her spot on accent to the emotion displayed - you could feel her angst, sadness and pain.

Frantic (1988)

There were so many holes in this story it practically made no sense

[4/10 · 20 May 2024]

I would hardly call this a thriller. There was lots of pointless running around and yelling. All the characters were behaving contrary to their best interests. MILD SPOILERS -- the kidnapping made no sense to begin with. Not only has this movie NOT held up well over time, it's that predictable Polanski / Coppola trap where they get so wrapped up in this pseudo-profundity of 'storytelling' that the story is barely an afterthought. They trip over their own feet - oops, their owns egos & the rest of us, for some reason, are never willing to say, "the emperor has no clothes." A young shirtless or naked Harrison Ford _almost_ makes up for it. Frasier references: 1. Star Trek references: zero.

Fast Charlie (2023)

Here, Brosnan plays an American hitman from the Deep South

[3/10 · 18 May 2024]

Me thinks it's the production company working the ratings. Don't watch - there's a better way to spend a couple of hours. Nothing else is going for this completely predictable and soulless slow burner. Quite surprised it got very decent reviews from many! However, this movie was a big disappointment for us. His acting was excellent, but the plot was extremely weak. It was very slow moving initially. Eventually, it got into a lot of shoot up scenes, but due to the weak plot, and some unrealistic incidences, I would rate this movie, one out of five stars. HUGE plot holes. Like when she finds the disc, she FOR NO REASON hands it to Charlie before leaving the exit. It makes no sense. She would have just exited. Then while holding the package (with the disc), Charlie FOR NO REASON walks across the room in front of everyone to give the bad guy a chance to sneak up on him from behind. It's all so heavily contrived and poorly written.

Fast Charlie (2023)

How this film has such good reviews baffles me! Tired plot with no twists and little thrills. Don't waste your time with this turkey

[3/10 · 18 May 2024]

An otherwise entertaining movie gets derailed by an absurd and unrealistic ending. The leads have absolutely no romantic chemistry throughout the whole movie, yet we are (spoiler alert) supposed to believe that the young, smoking hot Marcie Kramer has all off a sudden decided to ditch her dream of getting a teaching position at LSU to run off to Italy with Charlie Swift to pull an "HGTV" style renovation of a villa in Tuscany. He not only looks to be twice her age and more of a father figure, but it's all so ridiculous and predictable. Could have been a solid popcorn flick but ends up being straight-up pablum.

Fallen Leaves (2023)

Very slow burner ,and not very satisfying. Not a smile in sight .No energy !

[3/10 · 18 May 2024]

Might be the worst movie I have ever seen. I felt like I was watching the college thesis from a C- film student. The lighting was horrible. The story was boring. The characters have no depth. The filmmaker gives us no reason to care. The positive reviews from the critics are mind-blowing. How could anyone actually enjoy this? There is nothing about it that is interesting at all. It is extremely boring. Everything in this movie is boring. The plot, the acting, the settings. Absolute waste of time. I was very disappointed to see the high reviews- the only reason I went to see the movie. I found myself personally struggling to engage with the movie. It wasn't a matter of any inherent flaws in the film; rather, it just wasn't a story that resonated with me or captured my interest. I spent most of the duration on my phone.

Darkland: The Return (2023)

Meh. Very generic and nothing you haven't seen before

[3/10 · 17 May 2024]

He's been in prison and now has a son Noah (Asgar Hansen) whom he doesn't really know, nor Noah him. Police agent Helle (Birgitte Hjort Sørensen) needs him to finally nail the kingpin of the Copenhagen underworld who has eluded her time and again - Muhdir (Soheil Bavi), a powerful drug lord. In exchange, she promises him a release from prison so he can have a life with his estranged 7-year-old son. Only the two of them know about the deal and as far as the police are concerned, he's a thug in a gang. He's been supplied with trackers and recorders to get Helle more evidence that'll bring a definite conviction.

This second one doesn't seem sufficiently thought out or worked out. On the other hand, there are some scenes with blood and violence that seem authentic enough to be well made, and several of the visual aspects are far above the average in Danish films. It's always something.

Darkland: The Return (2023)

Salim's prosthetic beard is a different color than his moustache

[3/10 · 17 May 2024]

So is the film at least a psychological thriller that explores this - on paper - intriguing split in the main character, Zaid? No. The film is a long series of scenes that don't really connect. Then there are a few scenes where the villain seems very composed and never becomes scary, people swear a lot and talk at each other's mouths, and then Zaid hangs out with his son a bit and is awkward. It's at least 20 minutes too long, and all scenes run longer than they can handle. And then the ending is incredibly unresolved. I would LOVE if this was something as rare as a Danish action film, and even a credible one, because I almost liked the etter.

Darkland (2017)

My main problem is would an educated doctor really put his job and years of training on the line

[4/10 · 17 May 2024]

In the end misses the mark in some aspects making it hardly to blindly suggest watching it. It has a great atmospheres. The dark, raw setting fits the theme of revenge well and the acting is good too. It's clear what motivates Zaid, but his transformation into a Punisher-like character, dressed in black and riding his motorcycle trying to find his brother's killer, isn't completely convincing. There's also a kickboxing montage which feels out of place. There are also moments during which the people he is chasing fight back, which also don't feel completely logical. So it's a film with some script issues, but if you can ignore that, this is an atmospheric title which its relatively simple revenge plot offers enough tension and action to see it at least once.

Darkland (2017)

It has some credibility issues and never really reaches the same level of quality as its influences,

[4/10 · 17 May 2024]

It's a classic "ordinary guy seeking vigilante justice" story, but I think it spends too much time on the "he's just an ordinary guy" setup rather than the "but he can turn into something different when pushed" payoff.

I think I went in with a bit higher expectations than I should have. There are a few really good scenes here and there, but it's unfortunately the minority of the movie. Despite following a tried-and-true formula about an upstanding member of society driven to violence after the death of a loved one, Darkland nevertheless feels fresh enough to be worth a look. The shimmering, neon-lit city makes for a gorgeous backdrop, and the cast deftly shoulders the emotional weight of the narrative without skimping on the action that audiences will be looking for.