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TheMightyN
Reviews
Growing Up Gotti (2004)
Victoria seems to hate everyone
I read the other user comment about this show being touching. When is that? All they ever do is yell and shout and fight with each other. She spends $100,000 on a graduation party for the boys and they look like
they hate her for it. Do they thank her? No. Do they give a nice speech about how we love our ma? No. When do they ever give a hug and kiss on the cheek? Thanks for all the great things ma? Never. She is always putting everyone down. Her assistant can't do anything right in her eyes. She goes on a couple of blind dates and she grills the poor guys and then calls her friends for help, "get me outta here!" This guys a loser. In Vikki's eyes EVERYONE is a loser, except her. I'm sick of it.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Not a sequel! A remake (ripoff! cough, cough) of T2
They copy all the action, scenes and even dialog from T2! I loved T1 and T2. They were great. Cameron rules, BUT. . .let's look at what T3 rips
from T2, shall we? 1. Arnie goes in bar naked, gets leather clothes 2. Uses pump action shotgun 3. Rides motorcycle around stuff at speed 4. Finds cache of weapons to help him 5. Fights foe that morphs into other people 6. Drives a pick-up with shell to escape 7. Baddie chases them in large truck 8. Helicopter crashes toward heroes 9. Arnie uses grenade launcher to open locked
doors 10. Arnie fires a mini-gun destroying stuff 11. Says I'll be back 12. Dies to save hero at end 13. Goes out to Mojave desert to hide 14. Says "Get down!" 15. Attacked by swarm of cops who use tear gas
but he doesn't fire back to kill, only to scare. 16. Fires rocket launcher at foe 17. Foe momentarily stuck by an accident.
Frozen in T2, magnet in T3 These are all scenes ripped from T2!!! They just changed the foe into a woman instead of Robert Patrick and added the military angle, that's it! THEY COULD HAVE DONE SO MUCH MORE COOLNESS! Welcome to Hollywood, land of stealing stuff from others creativity. PLUS, he finds the keys in the visor and when he shoots at the cops his display says "zero casualties" - if he's a different T101 model then how does he remember that stuff from T2? OVERALL, NICE ACTION, BUT COME ON! DON'T RIP T2! T4 sounds like a mistake to me. The Mighty N
Father of the Pride (2004)
really, really BAD!
My family and I watched this with our mouths open at how bad it was. It's not funny. Who wants to see a show about a Panda forced to have sex with another Panda and then he falls for the Lion wife of John Goodman instead? Huh? Then at the end Siefried and Roy pass a pair of monkeys and it's implied than Roy had a relationship with one of them!? HUH? That is just sick! Then at one point the daughter Lion says, bye dad I'm off to a party to do drugs and he says okay fine. Is this the death knell of the modern sitcom? Yes it is. With Friends and Frasier gone and Joey looking so-so at best and every new show being a "staged reality show" which most of the new ones aren't that good, TV is in dire straights! What happened to shows like Taxi and Cheers? Whoa!? I love Sherk like everyone else but man what a disaster! This show is NOT FUNNY! Where are the jokes!? Who wrote this!? Chalk this one up with Sinbad. I don't know what this show is trying to be. give Sherk HIS own show, now that would be funny!
Catwoman (2004)
Move over James Cameron, Pitof has arrived!
When will people listen to the great Earl Dittman? (American film critic) He calls Catwoman a "pulse pounding 100% action thrill ride!" and he's right! Pitof is set to become the next Spielberg, I'm not kidding! Earl Dittman is the one sane man in a world gone mad. he is the only voice of reason, like Moses before him, he will lead us to the cinematic promised land. Why don't people believe him? Why is he labeled a fool? He is trying to tell us about great movies people! He should be thanked! Yes I went to see the movie with my 5 year old cousin and yes it IS as great as everyone is saying. Having a skin cream that causes your face to fall off is really scary! Pitof will go on to one of the most best film careers ever! Hollywood in my eyes has never made a bad movie, they are incapable of making a bad movie. They are so smart. People think they want a story and character development and jokes and stuff, but that's BORING! All we want is relentless fast cuts and loud pop tunes with a sexy chick strutting around and Hollywood did it again. Bravo! I can't wait to see it again. Thank you Earl Dittman, your glowing review got me to see Catwoman and you saved me, and gave me a great gift! And that hat Catwoman wears? Genius! It has OSCAR written all over it for best costume design! Look out James Cameron, Pitof has arrived! Bravo Earl Dittman!
Van Helsing (2004)
25 word review
Stupid hat. Worst dialog. Insulting. Worst accents. Too loud. Makes no sense. America wake up You're being swindled. Avoid at all costs! Spiderman 2, our only hope.
Hellboy (2004)
Bad script. Good visuals.
You'd think that if you spend 75 million for a movie you could invest a few hundred grand on a good script.
The script to this film SUCKS. ---SPOILERS--- It just piles the questions on you: How did Hellboy know Liz? How did Liz get her powers? How did Rasputin get inside the HQ? Why does Rasputin want to destroy the world? He can't be killed either. Whatever. What is that squid thing at the end? What was it's purpose? If Hellboy can kill it with a grenade belt, then the army could quite easily kill it with a couple of tanks.
Right? Hellboy has no special skills really. What's the point of killing creatures that don't die? What was that spaceship thing in the other dimension? Where did Abe Sapian come from? What is Abe and why is he even there? Someone has written a comic book called Hellboy in the movie? Huh? Rasputin takes Liz's soul, then Hellboy gives it back to her. If he can do this, why was he so upset in the first place? It's like X-Men, but without ANY backstory or humanity.
The writer tries to put some humor in and every joke just falls flat. Best scene in the movie is where Hellboy punches the car and that is in the preview. MY PLEA TO HOLLYWOOD = hire better writers!!! Best part of being in the theatre? The previews for Spiderman 2 and Troy.
Big Fish (2003)
Pure cineMAGIC
This film is full of heart and soul and emotion. I loved it. Every single actor does an exceptional job and Burton's direction is perfect and gentle. I got choked up many times at the sweet and magical way our humanity is so beautifully portrayed. I can't wait to see it again. This story has what we need more of in the world: LOVE and MAGIC.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
heartbreakingly close to perfection
In the old days when Ben-Hur and Cleopatra came out, they were over three hours and you got an intermission in the middle to relax and regroup. That's what LOTR3 needed! The human mind can only watch drama for so long, no matter how cool it may look. There is a limit. I loved this film. I said "wow" out loud many times during it, but the end, my god the end!!! Arrggghhhh!!!! It just goes far beyond what humans are capable of tolerating! It took too long for them to get up mount Doom, there were too many Orcs and the dramatic conflicts just repeated themselves. LOTR 1 - 10/10 LOTR 2 - 6/10 LOTR 3 - 7/10
Cold Mountain (2003)
Dear Inman, your movie is tragically boring
***MILD SPOILERS*** Dear Inman, Kind words are hard to find for me to describe the movie I have just been subjected to that stars you. The problems are far and wide and painful for me to recount. . . yet I feel I must, if only to prevent others from suffering the same anguish as I did. This is NOT a film for anyone under 50, it's sloooowwwww, soooooo slowwww, and when the big reunion of Ada and Inman happens. . .the biggest and most important scene in the film, NOTHING happens, it is a epic letdown. Now, like the director should have done, I will keep my words short and end with this warning, your film is disjointed, boring, has no flow and Jude Law is tragically mis-cast, he showed more emotion as a robot in A.I. - be warned, the film should be retitled . . . Bored Mountain. Love, Ada