mrmachachi Reviews

Buoyancy (2019)

Unflinching realism; grim but not exploitative

[9/10 · 7 October 2020]

So this is an Australian film about a very poor, 14 year old Cambodian boy, who gets sick and tired of being exploited by his family (despite many older brothers, he is forced to do all the work in his family and also forced to do free slave labor for neighbors basically sowing rice paddies - and that is major work, son). So he takes a debt to go to Thailand and work. But, because he doesn't pay up front, he is sold into slavery to a fisherman trawler, and from there he experiences all kinds of torture and abuse. The adults can't handle it; will he? This is an exceptional foreign independent film. The film is not brutal but is darkly realistic. The direction, acting, script, cinematography, editing, and score are all top notch. This is a film from last year worth searching out. SEE IT!

Guns Akimbo (2019)

Super slick and super entertaining. If you like CRANK...

[9/10 · 26 September 2020]

Okay, so it's always difficult watching any film with Hairy Pothead or Frodo playing an adult (although Frodo was great in Sin City 1). That's why it took me a long time to get around to watching this. However, I must highly recommend it for fans of stylish, cartoonish, gory action films. It is basically about a wimp who is a keyboard warrior who gets forced to participate in a real life fight to the death match. Basically like "Most Dangerous Game" or "Series 7", with 2 people hunting each other for 24 hours for people who watch online. It's clearly by commercial or music video directors who know all the tricks and how to use them. Super slick, super hip, super cool, but also super action packed and super gory. I really enjoyed it. See it. 9/10 for a popcorn film. This is not Citizen Kane. It is more like Crank.

Maniac (2018)

If Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was a TV show

[10/10 · 21 September 2020]

Based on a Norwegian limited series, this story of a bunch of misfits who take part in a pharmaceutical company's experiment of a new drug to help people overcome extreme traumas is breathtaking. Visually stunning, with amazing production and aural design, what really stands out is the deep emotional resonance, scripts, and performances. If you liked "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", this 10 part Netflix series from 2019 is for you. Jonah Hill and Emma Stone are fantastic. You will be riveted. You will laugh. You will cry. Just see it.

Dolphin Reef (2018)

Why does Disney make nature films into animation test films?

[6/10 · 13 September 2020]

Well... it was somewhat entertaining and had decent cinematography. Unfortunately, how can this compete against any David Attenborough BBC series? Plus, after seeing a handful, it's clear that all Disney does is get some pretty good footage and then add anthropomorphic sound effects and manipulative narration and editing to create a story similar to any generic Disney animate film (not Pixar). It's not a bad watch, but no need to spend your time.

Alice in Earnestland (2015)

Decent, not great

[6/10 · 13 September 2020]

The genre lists it as a comedy, thriller, drama. It is not a comedy. Not even black comedy. It's a depressing tale of a woman who tries to help her recently deaf husband get a cochlear implant, then a series of events go wrong, and he ends up in a coma. At that point she is happy to learn her area is going to be redeveloped, and she might be able to pay off his medical bills. However, a local, manipulative, female therapist forces residents to oppose the redevelopment so it will be done in her area. This leads to vengeance and violence. It is closer to the films like "Lady Vengeance". The only real problem is the third act and especially the resolution, which seem basic and bland. Would I recommend it? Not really. It's like a 5.5 or 6 out of 10. Am I upset I watched it? No. I watch a ton of Asian films, and they are hit or miss. For me, this was overall decent. But I wouldn't rave about it. That's all I can say. Wash your ass and decide if a vengeance film about a meek woman rising to the challenge against anti-housing developers to save her comatose husband sounds good to you.

Stage Fright (I) (2014)

Absolutely terrible

[2/10 · 5 April 2014]

After seeing the trailer a month or so ago, I was excited to see this film. I thought it looked like it could be a real hoot of a horror comedy. Unfortunately, I saw it last night, and it was a dismal waste of time. First of all, to call it a comedy is a huge stretch, as there are maybe a couple of jokes in the very first song at Musical Camp at the beginning. That's it. No other jokes or humor to speak of. It IS a musical slasher film, with tons of songs. In fact, except for a prologue murder, there is no killing until the last third of the movie. In between is lots of lifeless teen camp drama and songs. Because there are only a few main characters, it does not take a genius to figure out the final "surprise" revelations. I knew the answers before the movie was half-way through. The gore is minimal and uninventive. The acting is okay, I suppose. The writing, though, is really weak. The homages to classic horror films are trite and thoughtless.

I really want my time back. Neither funny nor scary. Just dumb.

Piranha 3DD (2012)

Better than the first 3-D Piranha

[7/10 · 3 June 2012]

I went to the theater to see the first 3D Piranha movie after critics and fans raved about it being so senselessly ridiculous and gory, blah blah blah. That movie sucked. It was boring, not gory, the 3D sucked, and I felt totally ripped off. Hell, I enjoyed Piranha 2 by James Cameron more and in that film, Roger Corman made him use stock footage of angel fish to be the supposed flesh eating fish.

So this time I avoided the theater, the 3D prices (which I can tell from watching would still be a rip-off as there are only a handful of real 3D shots in the film and the rest is converted crapola), and just watched it on VOD.

And I gotta say, this is what the first one should have been. It's shlocky. There is tons of gore. It does mimic the first film with a few things - a surprise ending; a guest star death at the first scene. But this has gorgeous women with big boobs. Some truly hilarious kills. It's one of those so bad it's good movies. And the director, who did FEAST, delivers another great B-movie.

I like Alexander Aja just fine (save Mirrors and I think Haute Tension, while nicely gory, made zero sense with its surprise ending), but he and his cast were lame in the first 3D movie. This one never takes itself even remotely seriously for a moment. And the Hoff is great in his self- deprecating cameos.

My only complaint would be Christopher Lloyd, who was once a great comic actor. In both films he just goes way too over the top. Is he now a real alcoholic like he used to play on Taxi or has he simply forgotten how to act?

Otherwise, if you like hot chicks, nice tits and minge, and lots of blood, see it on video. DO NOT WASTE THE MONEY ON A 3D theater screening - the 3D will suck again.

Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)

Amazing

[10/10 · 6 September 2011]

I don't really have to say much. Just go to any trailer site on the internet and watch the trailer. If that doesn't make you want to run out and see this film, then I don't know, go see the new Katherine Heigl or Kate Hudson comedy instead. Otherwise, that's all you need to know what this film is about and how great it is going to be.

And trust me, it's not only that good, it's the best original twist on the college kids in the woods with a serial killer genre pic since the first Evil Dead. I don't know if it even qualifies as a horror film as much as a gore/black comedy. And it is hilarious. The acting is great. The direction and writing are amazing. These are talents to watch all around. And, yes, though in this film they are not the focal point, you still get some nice young sexy hard-bodies to suit the formula.

Prepare to laugh out loud, there is tons of gore, and it will just surprise you over and over, even if you end up finding the *surprise* ending a little too neat (I didn't mind it). Do NOT miss this film.

Red State (2011)

I agree this is an awful film!

[1/10 · 6 September 2011]

Except for the two Clerks films and maybe Dogma, Kevin Smith has proved his one of the laziest and most inconsequential directors to come out of the heyday of indie/Miramax filmmaking.

This film is just god awful. Boring, not scary, no thrills, terrible acting, some of the worst writing I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through. I did not see Cop Out, but I can't imagine it was much worse than this. Why Melissa Leo would star in this is beyond me, and the guy playing the psycho preacher was fairly decent I suppose. Otherwise, it looks cheap, it feels cheap, and it is a complete waste of time you will never get back...Ever. Stay far away even on video - remember: you don't get your time back in life.

CRAPOLA!

Valhalla Rising (2009)

I don't know? Do I think it's real good or just pretty okay...

[6/10 · 24 June 2010]

******LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF MAYBE ALL SPOILERS**** DO NOT READ (is this safe enough to not get banned?)

This is a tough one. Mads is fantastic. The gory bits are amazing - if you love gore, this is a very slow art house film, but you will absolutely never forget scenes like the head being bashed in (you've never seen anything like it, trust me, at least not as well done). The film gets off to a great start with some brutal Conan-like life or death fights between Anglo- Saxon slaves. Then it gets real choppy, with the Christians arriving. Out of nowhere. No major scene. Then there is a water journey which leads to a new land - what land we don't know - due to fog. The guys go crazy in this land, as some die from various reasons. Not a lot of progression there. And finally, it seems to turn out this dinghy from 1000 A.D. made it from the Northern reaches of Europe to North America. I'd by a real Viking ship, but not this little canoe they seem to make it on.

Is this an allegory? Is it Norse mythology we don't know about as most of the world's audience? I've read the discussions below and everything talks about if it's Odin or not as one-eye. What I just want to know is what is with them crossing the Atlantic Ocean in that little tiny ship, what is with the lack of action with the Crusades, the water journey to America, and the entire last fourth of the movie?

That being said, the technical credits are very good - cinematography, editing (for what he probably or hopefully had in the can), acting, direction. Just not much of a script to share with the entire world. Which is only a shame because the Pusher series and Bronson have been some of my favorite foreign films in the last decade. Especially Bronson and the first two Pusher movies. Exxcellllllent work. This just wasn't as universal.

[Rec]² (2009)

Horror-ble!

[1/10 · 5 March 2010]

First off, I am a tremendous fan of the first Rec movie. It was groundbreaking, terrifying, simple, taut, and absolutely original and amazing. A great use of the fake documentary genre taking hold. I even liked the U.S. remake, Quarantine. I was looking forward to seeing this sequel with baited breath. However, what a terrible, terrible, god awful movie this turned out to be. While production values are high enough with decent technical credits all around (save for some sloppier camera work than the predecessor which results in more things unclearly seen than necessary), the script is just abysmal. Characters don't act rationally. The second half with the teens is teeth-gratingly annoying. Everyone in the film acts like an a$$hole. Which is so strange, as the first film had people acting rationally and believably. Even if they did something stupid, it was believable the character would act that way. In this film, people just act so stupid you are praying to see them gutted. I guess that would be fine in a horror film, if you didn't find yourself in such utter disbelief every two minutes. That and the "explanation" for the disease is so ridiculous. I liked that in the first one, it just seemed to be a disease - like rabies but in humans and more aggressive. The extra reasons added here turned the whole thing upside down and made it feel like a one of those ludicrous Exorcist rip-offs from the late 70's and early 80's that only played in grindhouses, late night cable, and straight to video films. Be afraid. Be very afraid. You won't get your 2 hours back ever and you only have so much time before you die.

Rogue (2007)

Utter Rubbish!

[2/10 · 4 September 2008]

Well that's two strikes for this writer/director. Wolf's Creek was over-hyped and proved to be dull and uninspired. Now this lame killer crocodile movie. Bad casting, bad characters, bad acting from the Americans at least, terrible writing which has characters make wrong choices that leave you scratching your head or smashing it in frustration against your palm. The special effects and camera direction are adequate if nothing special. After Wolf Creek, Rogue, Black Sheep, and Undead it is becoming painfully clear that Australians do not know how to do horror.

And it is also becoming quite clear that at least 80%, if not more, of the Dimension Extreme titles are also nothing but foreign garbage low budget films. All I've seen have been mediocre to real time-wasters.

Anyway, I give up on this filmmaker. I've hated both his films, and if you also didn't like Wolf Creek I guarantee you will detest this movie. It's the "Anaconda 2" of killer croc movies.

Factotum (2005)

Really really disappointing

[3/10 · 16 September 2005]

I have read the novel as well as numerous other Bukowski novels. I understand having to cut a lot out of Factotum to make a movie - it would almost work better as a cable miniseries a la Armisted Maupin's "Tales of the City," taking four or so weeks and spanning say six hours. But what is sooo bad about this adaptation is that it does not in the least capture the vitality and energy not to mention dark humor of Bukowski's writing. When you are reading Bukowski (especially one of his best like Factotum) you can't put it down. You find yourself laughing uncontrollably. There is no fat on the story. But somehow this hack of a director/writer has managed to make Bukowski seem languid and boring. Instead of coming across as a rebel, as he does in his books, he comes across as a dullard in this film. Unlike Bukowski's books, it almost makes you want to stop drinking. Also, Matt Dillon - while a fine actor and one of my favorites - is way too pretty and thin to play Bukowski. Decent make-up, hair, and clothes, but he just looks too much like a pretty boy even with all that. And worst of all is the complete lack of a story through-line. I know Factotum is the kind of anecdotal book that does not lend itself to film narrative, but the writer failed to even pull out one clear direction for this film and in the end you can't help but feel like you are watching nothing at all. Nothing interesting. Nothing of importance. Nothing!

Starsky & Hutch (2004)

The worst!!!

[1/10 · 8 September 2005]

This movie was the worst. There are no laughs to be found. The car stunts are horrible. What's with the animated birds during the cocaine scene? I mean, I loved Owen and Ben in Zoolander, but there is no chemistry and no humor to found in this anemic, poorly directed piece of garbage. If you found this funny, I'd go see the doctor to make sure you're not suffering from a massive brain tumor or a broken funny bone.

Also, if I have to see one more movie where Ben, Owen, Luke, Vince, and/or Will make another set of self-serving cameos, I'm gonna rip all my hair out. Please save yourself the pain and rent something else. Something funny.