vlcupper1 Reviews

Teen Star Academy (2017)

Thank you, Jaime French, for bringing this to the public

[1/10 · 4 March 2023]

This is one of the WORST movies I have ever seen. No one can act, even though the guy playing Burt was in the Deer Hunter. Every scene, and I mean EVERY SCENE, is about 20 seconds of dialogue followed by 3 minutes of kids dancing to horrible music. The dialogue is stilted and unnatural at best. The beautiful beaches can't even make up for the awful dialogue, awful acting, and awful direction.

The kid playing guitar is actually talented, but the lyrics are not for kids. These are all literal children, but the dialogue sounds like it was for college-age kids.

Good god, this is a truly awful movie.

Beach Massacre at Kill Devil Hills (2016)

2 Words: Bor Ing

[1/10 · 27 December 2022]

I'm staying at my friends' house, and we picked this because we always watch laughably bad movies when I stay with them. It's bad, but it's the worst kind of bad. It's not even funny bad. It's just BORING. It's an absolute slog that could have been trimmed down by 30 minutes. Almost every scene drags for about 10 minutes longer than it should. Except for the little girl, the characters are unlikeable at best, and the dialogue sounds like it was written by high school boys. About 40 minutes in we forgot what we were watching.

If you're looking for a bad movie, skip this and watch something by Mark Polonia instead.

Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)

Alaka-meh

[5/10 · 1 October 2022]

If you have small children you might like it. It's very self aware, but not in a cheeky, poking fun at itself way. The special effects could be a little more special. The practical effects in the original were better than this. I did like the effect of the witch appearing in the beginning. The tween after school special drama was unnecessary, but I get that it's for tweens. Tony Hale is a treasure as always, and that little side plot with him was cute. Overall, it lacks the charm and the soul of the original (like every other reboot/remake/30+ year later sequel), but it will make a good babysitter while you're folding laundry or doing the dishes.

It's nothing special.

Candyman (2021)

Meh

[3/10 · 4 September 2021]

This was just like Hereditary. It tries so hard to be scary, but collapsed under the weight of its own self importance. The score was creepy, the acting was good, the cinematography was great, but the story was so, so stupid. If the plot was about literally anything else it would have all worked. Save your money and wait for it to stream on Netflix.

Supernatural: Halt & Catch Fire (2015) Season 10, Episode 13

Still better than Bloodlines

[4/10 · 7 September 2020]

This is not a bad episode per se; it was just dated when it aired. It was reminiscent of the season 1 episode of Buffy: laughably bad understanding of technology, but with better writing. The BM (heh) scenes were good, though.

Still loads better than Bugs, Bitten, and Bloodlines.

Supernatural: Bitten (2012) Season 8, Episode 4

Meh

[1/10 · 3 September 2020]

The found footage format doesn't really work here. You can definitely skip it and not miss anything.

NCIS: Better Angels (2013) Season 11, Episode 7

Absolutely awful

[2/10 · 7 August 2015]

I like Gibbs' dad and Ralph Waite was a fantastic actor, but the character got on my last nerve in this episode. I don't know if they were trying to go for desperate to find his friend before time ran out, but he just came across as petulant and whiny. I actually yelled at my computer during the part where he left out the fact that the guy was German and got mad at Gibbs for trying to help him find the guy. "You left out the most important part." "No, son. We were fliers. That was the important part." Not if you wanted to find him! Jesus! I can't even remember what the rest of the episode was about, because he was so irritating. Awful episode. Almost as bad as that stupid jet-pack episode.

American Eats: History on a Bun (2006) Season 1, Episode 5

Totally fun

[10/10 · 28 April 2005]

Actor Mason Adams narrates this fun little documentary about the history of popular American food. If you like useless trivia like I do, you'll love this. The stories are intriguing, and the food looks delicious. The part about hamburgers always makes me super hungry! The only problem I had with it was it was way too short. It's over just when you're getting into it. They could have added more to the stories or more food topics. The people being interviewed looked like they had a lot more stories to tell, but they didn't have time. Aside from that, this is perfect Sunday afternoon programming. Enjoy it with your next hamburger!

Frivolous Lola (1998)

Ugh

[1/10 · 5 August 2003]

This was one of the worst films I've ever seen. It's stupid, idiotic, insipid, etc. I can't think of all of the words appropriate for this "erotic comedy at its best." The movie was ridiculous! The actors are wooden; the dialogue is ingratiating; and the dubbing is, well, dubbing. In other words this movie is a car accident caught on film.