This is a really poor film. Some of the reviewers seem to think it is saved by having a British director but that's it's problem. How many scary British films have there been? Very few. How many crap and predictable British horror films have there been? More than you can hope to count. And this oaf carries on that British tradition. People get killed in stupid and derivative ways (sliced in two by panes of glass? Omen anyone?) and the 'scares' and gore are delivered in a way that is just stupid. If you are sacred by this then you better avoid your shadow because that will make you jump out of your skin. Acting? Well it would've been nice if there had been some. The horror channel would probably reject this. That's really how bad this is.
Reviews
3 Reviews
The Witches of Oz
(2011)
GawdAwfull
14 July 2011
May well be the worst thing that has ever been on TV. Not a soul got the message that in this sort of fantasy everybody has to play it completely straight. They all pancake and smirk knowingly at the camera. They all overact like they were on some crappy Disney kids show. The effects are mostly non existent. When the witches are supposedly fighting the effects are mainly off screen while the actresses wave their arms about with no exertion or effort apparent. There is an awful moment where munchkins are sword fighting and three year olds in a playground would have been more convincing. Dorothy? Well she is so bad that you realise that the only thing that might save this is if she died a horrible death. Direction is appalling. And what dolt's idea was it to have the Lion and Scarecrow play their parts as a bad impression of the actors in the 1939 movie? And the pauses. You keep getting bits where some exposition that you spotted ten minutes ago has to be explained but instead of just getting to the point the scene drags on and on and on and.... You end up screaming at the TV 'Shut up, shut up. I was bored five minutes ago now I just want to die.' The only vaguely good idea is right at the end and they even manage to screw that up. I am only writing this review in the vain hope that it will have some sort of cathartic effect and wipe the memory of this dreadful waste of everyone's time from my mind. If you missed this then thank whatever God you have and take that as a sign that there truly is a merciful God. If not then avoid it like the plague.
The Fourth Kind
(2009)
Only for those with partial lobotomies
31 July 2010
Those who are determined to believe this thing is true will never be convinced otherwise even though this is obviously absolute nonsense. You're writing on the internet so why not just check it out? Oh wait. All the facts that contradict you will be put there by men in black won't they? It isn't even very convincing garbage. The people in the 'real' shots are actors and at least two of them can be seen on the syfi channel ever other night. Do you nut cases really believe that footage of somebody really levitating while possessed by an alien entity years ago would really not have been all over youtube long before now? Really? There are no Sheriffs in the town or in Alaska for that matter and yet the main human baddie here is a sheriff? Come on! The people of this town don't recollect any of these dramatic events? Must've all been hypnotised by aliens. This is a pretty dumb advanced race who would waste their time with this sort of stuff. Aliens speak Sumerian? Really? Why? And they find the one person who can pronounce it even though there is no way of working out how this very dead language could have sounded. Have a word. There's no trace of this Dr Tyler or her children having ever existed but I daresay that is an FBI conspiracy? No wonder serial killers get away with it for so long. The FBI are too busy inventing elaborate fake tales to cover up things that most people don't believe and don't really care about. Even without this stupid lie that it's true this might have worked. The first three quarters of it is quite scary in bits and you get sucked in but the closing bit is ludicrous and you end up not caring if they live or die. Absolute pants.
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