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Reviews
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999)
SpongeBob SquarePants - A jewel that became a joke
I remember when this show first premiered on Nickelodeon in 1999. It was absolutely amazing and I fell in love with the characters almost instantly. The series basically revolves around a jolly, optimistic, happy-go-lucky sea sponge who works at a fast food restaurant called the Krusty Krab. The thing that I really loved about this show was the characters and their very likable and believable personalities. But alas, that was many years ago, and unfortunately, we live in this hideously overrated era that people like myself call the premature death of intelligent programming.
Ever since Stephen Hillenburg left the show in 2003 to write the screenplay for the SpongeBob SquarePants movie, the show has been on a slow downward spiral into utter monotony and childish stupidity. And don't get me wrong, the movie was pure gold, and their decision at the time to end SpongeBob SquarePants on a high note with an excellent movie just like Ed, Edd n' Eddy did, was in my opinion, a sad but smart choice.
Later in 2005, when they hired that smarmy little prick Paul Tibbitt and a myriad of rookie writers with a writing ability equivalent to that of an unpaid, inexperienced, 9th grade intern, what used to be my favorite Nicktoon growing up has become such a disastrous, heart-breaking and painful excuse for a "cartoon". The plots are no longer interesting, the humor has no depth to it, the characters are unlikable, and it feels as though it belongs on Nick Jr. now.
SpongeBob used to be happy-go-lucky, fun loving, lovable, witty and incredibly funny in that "not the sharpest knife in the drawer" kind of way. But now he has become little more than a crybaby sprinkler system, expressing this mindbogglingly annoying bipolarity which can have him at his most jolly and ecstatic state one second and drowning in an ocean of his own tears the next.
As for Squidward, no longer is he merely just a grouchy, easily-agitated yet somewhat creatively ambitious pessimist. His personality has been exaggerated to the point where he has almost become the main character, usually the victim of unfortunate and painful situations caused by SpongeBob and Patrick's stupidity. Sure he's always been the kind of guy who laughs at his own jokes, but it has been inflated to the point where it's no longer a mild sense of superiority over everyone else. Squidward is now so full of himself his ego literally leaks out of his ears.
Don't even get me started on Patrick. Besides being so hilarious and having so many catchphrases in earlier episodes, the dumb personality he always possessed was very believable, and actually kind of cute. But now all he is is an oblivious, drooling idiot who really has lived up to what he described himself as in the hilarious Season 2 episode "I'm with Stupid". "Dumber than a sack of diapers."
Sandy used to be SpongeBob's best friend and always churned out this gut busting Southern humor that had me in tears every time I heard it. These are a few of my favorite quotes from her.
"I'm hotter than a hickory smoked sausage." "You're about as ugly as homemade soup." "That SpongeBob is about as dumb as a sack of peanuts." "Back in Texas, we call ice-cream frozen cow juice." "Gonna skin y'all and make a pair o' size 6 boots." "I'll be over there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August with a..."
But now, Sandy's appearances have been ridiculously toned down to the point where she is little more than a Science for Dummies book. But while she has been turned into a very minor character seen about four times every season, Plankton gets more screen time than ever before, with the same cliché and predictable plots being recycled in every episode he appears in with the same basic and tired formula. Karen hatches a plan to steal the formula, Plankton takes credit for it, he executes his plan, SpongeBob does nothing more than run around and scream while Mr. Krabs handles the problem with little to no effort at all.
And as for Mr. Krabs, what's to stop him from robbing the nearest bank killing everyone inside being what he's become?
The point that I'm trying to emphasize here in this review is that the SpongeBob that exists in today's modern society is not the SpongeBob I grew up with, and I'm sure all you 90's Nickelodeon fans will agree with me when I say, "They killed SpongeBob."
I strongly recommend Seasons 1-3, it's wonderful and goofy fun. But as for Seasons 4-Present, they are absolutely dreadful and you should avoid them at all costs.
In a nutshell, Gary is my new favorite character...