copperpopper Reviews

House of Cards (2013–2018)

I do believe this is the best television series I've ever seen.

[9/10 · 1 January 2014]

I'm not the type of person who usually gets involved with TV soap style series where it's necessary to devote a portion of your life for answers but we've got a different situation here folks. When I do take the time to write reviews they're usually negative or at least drawn out and long winded, painfully rambling on describing faults in detail.

Here we have a show which will not only win praise and awards from all, but at the same time change the way many networks and writers create future television series. It's seriously that ground breaking.

Kevin Spacey as the whip is absolutely absorbing and so believable and wickedly clever you almost wish he'd sit down and just spend a whole episode talking at the camera to you. With his affable lackadaisical Carolinian accent this guy could read you the yellow pages and you'd just sit back and listen with a grin on your face.

Now that you've heard a bit of the greatness, it's necessary to be honest and point out one single solitary thing I've found a problem with: Remy. I don't believe for a moment that white billionaires from Georgia are going to pick this kid as their front man in the White House. Yes, race is definitely involved with that decision but even if you wanted to use the argument that it was to improve matters for them this character is simply too young and not believable in this situation. I'd have gone with someone else.

With that said, after one season not including him I'm unable to find any flaws in a single character no matter how small or large the role. (Outside the fact that if you turn the channel you can see a bunch of the same folks on other shows at the same time.)

Overall the highest compliments and please keep up the great work!

Lone Survivor (2013)

Hard to believe this guy made Battleship

[7/10 · 1 January 2014]

During the Weidman vs. Silva fight I saw a short interview with Peter Berg and the real life hero, Marcus Lutrell promoting the film and was curious if Battleship boy found a big shovel or not to get him out of that deep pit he put himself in. (I realize there were complications and Peter wanted to make this film first but the fans don't know these things, just the end results.)

To begin, Peter Berg and Mark Wahlberg and any other folks with a berg in their name involved in this film should be very proud of this result. I'm not a Wahlberg lover or hater but have seen most of his work and this stands apart from the rest by far. All actors are amazing and there's not enough space to give proper kudos, but extra points to Taylor Kitsch after bad beats with Carter and that ship mentioned and who continues to show great acting chops after Savages. This kid's going places ma.

It is clear from the start that there is realism and presence and insight provided not only from our true surviving hero Lutrell, who was to say the least, intensely involved with the making of the film and proclaimed what a great job Walhberg did of transforming himself into him, but from many other actual soldiers who faced the fire and were extras as well.

It was upsetting to see so many reviews focusing only on and condemning how unrealistic the battle scenes are. I've personally broken my back in two places on a fall which was an absolute minor fraction of the seemingly endless cringe-worthy falls these guys took but at the end of the day if they didn't absorb falls and bullets a bit more than normal this film would have lasted 45 minutes tops. (I would've cut things a bit more but it's Hollywood folks, suck it up.)

As a proud American who would usually just say go and nuke em and start over, it was also a huge breath of fresh air and reality check to see portrayed actual kind and decent Afghani folk who did in fact risk their own lives unnecessarily for an American life, tradition or not. Even if it looks like it was filmed in great camping locations in the Midwest, the acting was first rate by all and compensated for these minor errors which will only be picked up by a small margin of viewers.

All in all this is an excellent piece of work which I'm still shocked was done by the same guy that did Battleship. It's as if he sat down with Kathryn Bigelow and took serious notes, but nodded out here and there on occasion or lost some of his notes on the way to the edit room.

Now here's a humble critic's short list for how this film could have been edited to perfection and why it lost only three stars:

1. No matter if the book title is the same or not, this is one of those rare situations where it is not only unnecessary to keep the same name, but an absolute necessity to change it. I kept asking myself the whole film, "I wonder how this guy's gonna get it?". Please explain where any value comes from giving away the fact everyone dies but Marky? (I simply don't get the reason for giving away the whole story when most of the viewers haven't heard of the book or the Red Wings mission.)

2. The cute clean-cut blond kid recruit with the perfectly moussed hair - no way. This guy would be doing everything in his power to emulate his mentors who all looked like they just rolled out of bed after camping for a month without any hygienic supplies whatsoever. It's not anywhere near as bad as casting Rihanna, but if you're going to leave popcorn alien and go heavy serious it matters and counts. (Even if he wasn't yet allowed at his rank to go full grunge he wouldn't have gone GQ.)

3. There's one short line where Bana barks out an order and it is in his pure Australian accent. (Sorry Eric, you're a hero.) It's short and maybe hard for most to catch, but clear. That's a quick fix. Someone should have caught it.

4. Even as a person with no military experience I continually kept questioning the setups and tactical locations they chose out in the open. That, coupled with the seemingly bionic ability to take pain like Wolverine and keep going is where we left reality entirely.

5. I hate it when a director like the one hit wonder Shamylamylan guy or Berg feels the need to put themselves in their films even if it is for a couple seconds. If you absolutely must do this how about we make it non-speaking roles in the future? It doesn't matter if you like him, you're not Hitchcock and fat boy likely rolls in his grave a bit over this. (Because it's such a short arrogance shot no actual stars were taken away, just annoyance points earned and reality points taken away.)

Cut out those minor infractions, in one fan's opinion, it'd be perfect. Great job.

Side note to Michael Bay:

As you can see, it is possible to make both complete popcorn nonsense and serious gut-wrenching drama. I am aware you two do know each other so I ask that maybe you call and take a tip from your pal Pete and leave your ego at the door for once and let someone else do the writing, casting and all other major input and who knows, maybe someday at the Oscars they'll at least point the camera where you're sitting? Fingers crossed!

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Pilot (2013) Season 1, Episode 1

Offensive

[1/10 · 1 October 2013]

Right after The Avengers a short film was made by one of the top producers by the name of Item 47. It was only a 12 minute adventure which picked up after the New York alien attack was cleaned up and followed a cash needy young couple who discovered one of the alien weapons. Naturally one wouldn't have big expectations on a small budget with no major stars or even superheroes, but it was great. It was a very entertaining, well cast and acted short flick. The reason for bringing this is up is to prove that having a superhero or A-list actor in the cast does not mean failure or success for this type of spin off.

I was hoping and expecting something along the same lines, maybe even better with the infused budget and success of The Avengers? No such luck at all. Right from the start I kept asking myself, "who did the casting for this?!?". And it didn't get any better, just worse. Much, much worse. Once the whole cast had been introduced I couldn't stop thinking this is a bad joke or some girlfriend, nephew or family member of a Hollywood big wig must have gotten involved. At one point it got so sick I had to literally pause the show and look up on IMDb who is responsible for this catastrophe. After a quick check I wasn't disappointed and discovered Joss Whedon had gotten his brother and the brother of his wife involved who are well known for their work on, um . . . wait for it . . . nothing!

Now I'm not sure how involved they are on this, but can only surmise with Josh heavy in the works on Avengers 2 that he's left the bulk to family. Either way, it has to be assumed due to the lack of any originality whatsoever.

Here's an idea of what was going through the "creative" minds when they came up with the debacle of a cast:

Motion #1 - we first have to get Phil (Clark Gregg) back from the dead to get things going. (Don't worry, here in Hollywood when someone goes up to a working actor known for only one role which was killed off even if he thinks it's a dumb idea he'll tell you it's the greatest ever.) He'll have that role everyone knows and loves him for and we'll give him some jokes which fall flat and take away some of his appeal.

Motion #2 - Leading man - let's get some guy who's young and handsome and looks like he just graduated from an Ivy league college and the most dangerous thing it ever looks like he's done is row a boat in the rain.

Motion #2 - Leading lady - obviously like everyone else in the cast she must be very pretty, but let's take it a notch higher and make sure looks like she just got off the cheerleading team and would be crushed if she were to brake a fingernail. We'll make sure her makeup and hair is always perfect and give her a really sassy personality with non-stop stupid jokes to keep everyone in complete disbelief.

Motion #3 - We'll need two super nerdy folks for the technical and gadget department. How about we get actual children for these roles? Naturally they'll be attractive too, but we'll make them British so that people think they're smarter you know, like that Potter crowd? Maybe we'll even get some of that fan base too! Let's also make sure they have non stop stupid jokes flowing out of their pieholes to make everything even dumber and less believable.

Motion #4 - We'll need your cliché standard and completely stereotypical and unoriginal Hot Asian chick who doesn't talk much, but knows martial arts and wears sexy, leathery skin tight outfits and kicks ass. - check.

If the horrific casting and acting in this aren't enough for you, the writing will make you want to vomit and jump off a bridge. To give you an idea how unoriginal this is, Phil drives an old '50s Corvette and there are countless unnecessary dumb jokes alluding to the fact that it's not your average classic car. (HINT HINT) I kept begging them in my head the whole time to please not go full shameless copying and turn this into a Men In Black car, but they were able to do even worse! Instead they decided to blatantly copy the flying DeLorean in Back to the Future! I can only assume the genius crack team looking for the teenage audience thinks they haven't seen it yet and this will all be new and exciting?

Side note to Joss Wheadon:

Dear Joss: Although it is commendable to try and include family and friends in your artistic endeavors, please refrain from doing so in the future. In fact, whomever cast this should be thrown out of Hollywood and the entertainment industry altogether. Also, even though I'm a Disney shareholder and want them to succeed please do not let them force feed their shameless marketing tactics down your throat to cheapen things even more. It was sickening. If any big wig execs try and give you a hard time or "creative input" just remind them about The Lone Ranger.

Thanks

Drive (I) (2011)

So Cool

[17 September 2011]

I've only written a few reviews before and they've only been when it's an abomination of a film and I'm angry at having wasted my time and I want to try and impede any extra ticket sales possible. Here, the only person I'm angry with are the people who marketed this as a fast paced car action movie like The Transporter or Fast and the Furious. This is not what you're going to get. With that said, this film was awesome. There is very little time spent on actual action "drive" sequences, but you are still on the edge of your seat for a good portion of the time. It's a smart but simple film with amazing acting all around.

It was such a relief and absolute breath of fresh air to finally see something original. The '80s noir style reminded me a bit of "To Live and Die in L.A." It's definitely got a Michael Mann tone going on in many places. Whatever you do, try to make sure the theater you see this in doesn't have any serious morons who are loud because there are many epic moments in it which have almost total silence. I was already a big fan, but Gosling has officially shot up to the top of my current favorite actors. This is my favorite film of the year.

Wrong Side of Town (2010 Video)

A Great Comedy!

[1/10 · 17 February 2010]

First off, I'm extremely embarrassed to say I actually took the time to watch this movie. That being said, I'm still sad that this hour and a half of my life was toilet bowled, but I did get to laugh out loud quite a few times. Unfortunately those were supposed to be very serious moments.

Where to begin with this debacle I do not know. As I was watching this absolutely ridiculous and cliché drenched mess I kept saying to myself "surely a teenager made this movie!" There's no other possible answer for this horrific story, acting, everything, you name it!

If I am able to save at least one poor soul out there the agony I've endured then I feel I've done my job here trying to help out mankind at least a bit. So please, please for the love of God stay as far as humanly possible away from not only this wrong side of town, but the same city, state and continent if at all possible. It doesn't matter if it's free on cable, pirated, you're drunk, stoned, or all of the above, it's not worth it!!!

If you absolutely must, then make sure someone pays you handsomely first.

Bottom line, if you're in the mood for a decent action flick, see anything else, even if you've already seen it 100 times!

Steven Seagal: Lawman (2009–2014)

chunky monkey

[3/10 · 8 January 2010]

First off, it's important to know these 3 stars came from the simple hilarity of the show. I have seen the first few episodes and not only was able to keep food down, but actually laughed out loud on several occasions during each show.

Can anyone tell me which episode is going to show all these tubs of lard shoveling donuts and God only knows what else down their pieholes? By the looks of these guys it would take up an entire season.

Also, speaking of pieholes, why is it that all these white chunky monkeys are all talking like uneducated black men? Do they think they're cool and fit in with the people? Do they actually think they're pulling it off?

If you are a serious Seagal fan and/or of the show COPS, then this may entertain you. But don't expect anything real serious to happen (at least from what I've seen so far). As another reviewer already wrote, there are some absolutely ridiculous situations like 10+ cops jumping out in full gear pulling over a few kids with the remains of one joint acting like they're taking down terrorists.

Hilarious!