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Reviews
Archer (2009)
9 out of '24' Classic Spies Like 'Archer'
I SPY with my little eye, maybe not AMERICA'S GREATEST HERO, but still the love child of THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.'s Napoleon Solo & OY OY 7..Sterling 'Archer'.
If you've ever wondered what would happen if Sir Ian Flemming, Larry Flynt and Mad Magazine decided to GET SMART and see if audiences would be shaken, and stirred after a half hour of laughing over entirely inappropriately placed mommy fetishes, sex, violence, sex, vapid vixens, sex, a past love you can't forget, sex, doggie-phobia, sexpionage..sex..drinking, sex, using people for your own narcissistic means, sex, torture, sex, Tax dollars wasted on whore island..sex. And something gratuitous I can't remember..No..it's not a MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.
I'm pleased with the choice of voice actor/ess/s, and find the off the wall, ribald writing that's so entirely over the top at times you're not sure if you should be offended, it's refreshingly unPC & witty. It's great for mature audiences. I 'should' know, I watched it with my Mother..she said it was amusing.
Sterling would like to thank SCARECROW & MRS. KING for classic misdirection so he can thank REMINGTON STEELE for his wardrobe and his mother for not giving him his BURN NOTICE.
All I can say is that January can't come soon enough. Unless of course we get Sterling to rescue January from Whore Island and they don't have to doggie paddle.
Nothing (2003)
Candybar! Candybar! Candybar!
This is a true review.
No really, it's been verified, read and even spell checked, so it's absolutely true.
Yeah, I watch too many flix, but eh, who cares. I stumble across the coolest ones now and then. And I can definitely say I stumbled across one now. So just hang on a sec, while I get my horse.
It's a cool little 90min R rated flick from 2003 called "Nothing". Vincenzo Natali directed it and wrote it with Andrew Miller. It's one of those lovable hard to categorize sorts of films. Mostly a Comedy, with some SciFi-Fantasy chucked in. Which in a nutshell, and take it from me, they're both nutz, is about the real meaning of Friendship and what people think is important.
And because I'm talking about it, yes, you guessed, that yes indeed a SG-1/SG-Atlantis star is in it.
That star happens to be David Hewlett (for those less in the real world than I, I'm talking about "Dr. Rodney McKay" ) who the writers take a big imaginative leap by granting the incredibly outlandish name of...Dave. I know big stretch. Andrew Miller is Dave's best friend since childhood Andrew, and coincidentally, or not, also the other lead.
Considering the movie really consists of just the two of them for a fair portion of the film, I can honestly say, that I still found it amusing, and thought that as usual Hewlett managed to convey his neurotic-isms in a fairly believable fashion. And that Miller brought a sort of touching, humor that wasn't heavy handed or horribly contrived to a subject rarely ever seriously covered in films, and when it is, it's usually some throw away red herring in a psychological thriller. Agoraphobia.
We can't be dead, we have cable so watch "Nothing" if it's on. If not. Rent it from your local videostore like I did. Odd little bit of trivia, his former spouse, Soo Garay plays the Campfire girls Mum in this film. Also, make sure you watch it until the very end. Yes, even after the closing credits.
Are there things I didn't mention? Sure. Are there things that will be funnier in this review once you see the movie? Most certainly. Either way, enjoy. Love, Grace & Peace, Gunner
You're right. The nothingness looks, feels & bounces like tofu... which, ironically, tastes like nothing~Dave- Nothing
Masters of Horror: Deer Woman (2005)
See You Next Wednesday
In 2005 Showtime gathered a who's who of ground breaking Horror film writers and directors in one place, for it's "Masters Of Horror" anthology series. The first season contained 13, one hour episodes, each directed/written by a different writer/director.
The reason I mention this is because one of my favorite episodes happens to be "Deer Woman" 1:07. Rated USA:TV-MA/Australia:MA
Directed By John Landis & Written by Max & John Landis. You might be familiar with the name John Landis, because he's also the fella that Directed Animal House, & Both Blues Brothers Movies as well as HBO's series, "Dream On".. How's he an important Horror director? Well he also directed An American Werewolf In London and Innocent Blood.
Staring Brian Benben of HBO's "Dream On" fame as Det. Dwight Faraday, Cinthia Moura as 'The Deer Woman', and wait for it...WAIT FOR IT...from SG-1, Alex Zahara as Det. Patterson. As well as Julian Christopher, John Bear Curtis, Micheal P Northey, Andy Thompson, John R Taylour & Don Thompson from SG-1 and Edmond Kato Wong, Sonja Bennett, Ben Cotton, Steve Archer, from Stargate:Atlantis.
Okay so about the actual episode it's self. I loved it, because despite Deer Woman being topless, big whoop. So was Sha're for Children Of the Gods. and barring some of the foul language, they drop the F-bomb if I recall. Violence, with a smidgen of gore. John Landis has left most of the horrific details, like a real director does, to the viewers imagination. And he's peppered the entire episode with humor. There's a dream montage that literally had me laughing so hard I nearly woke up my sleeping household.
It's the tale of a Det. Faraday, a lonely cop stuck on animal calls, and desk duty. And how he gets a 'break' so to speak when he gets the "Deer Woman" case, and follows all his leads, deciding that perhaps "Deer Woman" is the same entitiy from an ancient Native American Indian Myth. Or maybe not. I won't tell, the only thing I will say is that Faraday gets to redeem himself at the end of the storey despite the fact that Alex Zahara's Det. Patterson proceeds to be a very amusing thorn in Faraday's side.
Either way, if you're old enough, Check it out. It was like I said a great combination of humor and horror. See You Next Wednesday. Love, Grace & Peace, Gunner
I felt like Norma Desmond~John Landis commenting on his visit to Paramount for the first time in many years.
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)
That's the way the gingerbread house crumbles, SC3 stumbled
Tim Allen was pure genius with the 1st movie of this installment, and surprisingly enough the 2nd was also delightful. But I have to say, the 3rd, having added Alan Arkin, Martin Short & Ann Margaret, SHOULD have made "The Escape Clause" a film trifecta.
But it didn't. All the humor from the 1st film was missing, and all the nuclear familial bonding from the 2nd film just didn't appear.
What we got instead was Martin on a Short leash. His humor is an acquired taste to start with, but the man is known for creating quirky characters that leave you amused by their human flaws, and touched when they realize the error of their ways.
Then there were Alan Arkin and Ann Margaret's couple bickering so much you really wondered what they ever saw in each other in the first place.
Santa & the Mrs. seemed out of touch with each other. The other Legendary Characters, though fun to see, seemed they could have been utilized better. Kevin Pollack and Michael Dorn never fail to deliver.
My favorite secondary character though is Judge Reinhold's ever optimistic, quirky psychologist.
Tim Allen, whom I've always found amusing, seemed as though he rushed through the film. I think it would have been nice if Bernard the Elf, had been able to leave his "Numbers" chalk board long enough to give Santa a much needed hand in the Supporting Best Guy Friend role.
The problem with the film for me, was that this time out I felt the script writers dumbed the movie down far too much. It came off preachy and left you wondering why, if they wanted to drive the moral of the storey that Christmas is for Familys, not just to make money, home so badly why crank out such a poorly scripted film, that would have made a better holiday movie of the week special? Perhaps it's my own fault that I was disappointed, because I'd had such high hopes for this film, but all in all, I was left feeling that this installment, which ought to have been another glittering Snowflake.
Was just another production line cookie cutter script: Aww Baby=Cute, Family Bickers=You Still Love Each other. Cute Little Girl + Grinch Like Bad Guy=Predictable Hollywood Ending Where She Changes His Stripes. Edit in filler footage, slam it on a reel and call it a great Holiday Fare for the whole Family.
Unless they have a fantabulous script, I hope they don't film anymore in this series.
This film felt like the dieing embers of a Yule log, spluttering, a few pretty pops, but none of the warmth that made the first 2 films so enjoyable. It wasn't entirely a waste, it had a few moments that were enjoyable, the scenery was great, but the poor script kept getting in the way.
If I could, I would have seen it at the dollar show. Or better yet, since I had to buy 3 tickets, I'd have rented it on DVD and been able to pause it to use the bathroom, because the treacles sweetness made my tummy queasy. Love, Grace & Peace, Gunner
Dhund: The Fog (2003)
Confused-The Musical
When I think Bollywood. I think of lite feel good musical dance numbers, with gorgeous outfits on the men and women. And catchy tunes. Horror, Thrillers, Mystery and Suspense, don't come to mind though. And this, to my Western eyes, is like an abstract comedy.
I think it would have been a better movie, shorter even, if the writer and the director had made a definite choice. Either gone for outright Thriller-Horror, Comedy-Mystery, Supernatural-Suspense or Musical-Romance, instead of an awkward mixture of them all.
I'll have to say more than once I thought the director must have seen "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and tried to give it a Bollywood twist. My first film was Bride & Prejudice. Which I thought was acted well.
This seemed like what a Western Audience would consider a straight to video cheese fest.
The acting was over the top, at times it felt like they were intentionally trying to parody western thrillers, but when you saw them try to inject the dramatic crying, screaming or fear, it felt out of place.
The viewer was left wondering when one of the actors would wink at the camera. More than a few times when the audience was supposed to be horrified, we could only snicker a the absurdity.
I watch a lot of foreign films, and even though I don't know Hindi, I have to say they did a poor job subtitling the film. Sometimes it was difficult to read the white lettering against the bright background.
The villain was particularly amusing, at least to me, because he came with his own mood music. The supposed surprising twist, actually felt like a cop out.
The lead couples were handsome/pretty enough, and the musical numbers made it worth my rental fee. I'd suggest it to someone as a musical- comedy, but I'd tell them to just fast forward the rest of the movie, because it wasn't worth the effort of reading. If you're determined to read a whole subtitled Hindi flick, then check out the superior Romantic Drama 'Namasteay, London'.
But I was not scared..unless that's really what they think is horrifying in India. 1 out of 10 for what it's being touted as. 6 out of 10 for it's unintentional quickness & ability to illicit lots of laughs, and it's musical/dance numbers. Enjoy :)
El espinazo del diablo (2001)
Revolutionary Ghost
Actually, I was very fond of this movie. I thought it made good use of it's non verbal actions. I.e.: It was set during the Spanish War, and you saw the Orphanage Matron & Headmaster taking down the loosing parties banners etc.. And putting up things that the new government approved of in hopes that if the Military arrived they'd see how loyal they are and leave them be. Another thing you got to see was good character interaction. The unrequited love of the Headmaster for the Orphanage Matron. It had some characters that were cliché, the bully (who was fantastic, for being a first time actor), the lover (who was terribly handsome and will leave many thinking Antonio who?). But at least they were treated in a different way than they would have been in a Hollywood movie, they weren't all sunshine happy characters that really meant well, but were having bad hair days. The villain truly was a pain in the devils backbone, that no one was rooting for by the end of the film. For not having a huge Hollywood budget, I thought the director used some interesting choices of lighting, and camera angles. There weren't millions of special effects, but the ones he used were put to good use. It's not a slasher/gore/horror flick. It's got more of a Revolution Western Ghost Story sort of twist. It's worth the rental fee.
Escanaba in da Moonlight (2001)
Quirky Plot & Characters = Funny Movie
This film won't appeal to everyone. If you're not from, or familiar with Michigan, then some of the local humor wouldn't make much sense. But it does have it's niche. I hesitated renting it for a while because I was worried you'd have to be an avid hunter, or a guy for that matter, to appreciate it. But that wasn't the case. Jeff made a movie I felt was sweet. The ludicrous situations and quirky characters made me laugh. It has some bathroom humor, but I saw it more as a quaint story of how a family comes together to support their son/brother/husband/friend and help change his luck. I thought it dragged in few spots. But it wasn't supposed to be an action flick, nor did they try to market it as highbrow humor. I didn't see the play so I can't tell you which was better. All in all, I think Jeff did fine job.