NobleHam Reviews

Mates (2023)

Poorly Directed and Scored Mess

[3/10 · 13 November 2023]

It's all bad, but I think honestly the biggest problem with this movie is it's marketing. It's being sold as a straight guy being seduced when that's not what happens at all. A gay-played guy accepts his sexuality and gets preyed on by a creep instead.

The first scene where they meet is honestly so creepy, and although it gets better that never rubs off. Their relationship starts such on the wrong foot that it can't get better.

The score is also a problem. It feels like it's trying to remind us of Brokeback Mountain, but it does so only superficially. Unfortunately the movie can't hope to reach that level. But dear God does it try so often. That same overwrought theme is played repeatedly.

But at no point in the film do we see any real basis for a relationship between the main character and his stalker.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

A Masterpiece

[10/10 · 1 October 2022]

This movie is like nothing you've ever seen before, but it's amazing. It's hilarious, it's awesome, and it made me cry. It is not a simple story, and it takes some patience, but this is the kind of storytelling that is truly masterful. To take all of these parts and weave them into such a compelling whole is so impressive. Before I watched it I thought, "140 minutes, really?" And 30 minutes in, honestly I was a bit bored. But I stuck with it, and when I finished I was basically just in shock. Like holy crap, I can't believe how much I enjoyed that insane ride.

It may not be for everyone, but from story, to acting, to score, to editing, it's just so well done. Whether or not you enjoy it, you have to at least admire it.

You Are My Sunshine (2021)

Just not very good

[5/10 · 23 July 2022]

So to start off with, I think most of the acting in this movie was excellent, and the cinematography was quite good. Also, the actor playing the nephew is really hot, so it was enjoyable whenever he was on screen.

The problem here was mostly the writing. It's overwrought, it's too on-the-nose, and it's just bad. I was expecting a sweet love story over time, and instead it's mostly a story about an elderly gay man's relationship with his sister, who embodies every stereotype of a homophobe. There's no nuance in any scene, and she doesn't go through any believable transformation. Scenes which should have been deeply emotional were made almost comical by their lack of subtlety.

Most problematic is that we never really see the main couple fall in love. We have a few scenes of them in their youth, spread out over years, and they're nice, but sparse and limited. The actors make you believe their feelings, but we don't get to see how they developed.

There are also numerous sound problems. Most glaring is the sound editing. In some jumps between shots in the same scene, the sound dramatically changes, as if there was nothing done to smooth the transition between a boom-mic and voice-over, but aside from that, the score is not good. Music sometimes drowns out the scene, and like the writing it tends to be overwrought.

This is a story that could have been really good if it had been handled with some subtlety, but the whole effort is too heavy-handed. As I've said, the acting is generally very good, and there are some genuinely moving moments, but overall it's not worth the time.

(Also, as at least one other reviewer has mentioned, the casting of the older actors isn't great. I don't really mind that too much, since finding someone to portray old Steve Salt without waiting for Steve Salt to get old would be hard, but the older actor looked nothing like him.)

Echoes of Innocence (2005)

Bad, and Humorously So

[4/10 · 11 September 2005]

Echoes of Innocence is one of the worse movies I've seen in a long time. Not as bad as Broken Flowers (don't go see it), but still bad. Where to begin... Let's start with the good elements. That won't take long. First off, the two lead actors, Sara Simmonds and Jake McDormand, are pretty good. They do a good job of conveying emotions and making the characters sympathetic, despite the completely unrealistic characters they're given to work with. Also, the technical film-making was decent, and there were no major cinematography problems. The soundtrack was good for the movie--it's not too intrusive, but it helps to set the mood.

Now for the bad parts. The acting of every other character in the movie is simply terrible. Sometimes it's so bad it's funny. Alec, the main villain, is horrible. He's so over-the-top evil that you can't take him seriously. Every time he appears, the movie becomes downright laughable. You can't blame the actor entirely, though. The writing was awful, too, so he didn't have a lot to work with. Another example is the overly psychotic mother, who seems to belong in a mental hospital rather than a trailer. Also, the grandmother is unbelievably complacent and mindless. She sits and watches T.V. at all times. Yet, from what the mother says, she's very industrious when it comes to cover-ups.

Beyond the characters, there's also the awful story. I can't say much without spoiling the movie, but there are many horrible flaws in the plot. One major thread is ignored at the end, and the explanations for the entire movie are just stupid. The idea of two twelve-year-olds making this oath is just wrong. Getting married as soon as you possibly can so that you can lose your virginity isn't something the church should support. Saving your virginity may be a good thing--that's not my moral position, but I may be wrong--but pledging to wait only 'til you're 18, and then get married to the first guy you ever liked isn't the right thing to do.

The beginning is awful. The ending is awful. But, there's a good chunk in the middle where you think things might end up OK, and for that, which made it bearable to sit through this movie, I give it a 4 instead of a 1. After all, it couldn't possibly be as bad as Broken Flowers.