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doctorawesomepants
Reviews
Epic Movie (2007)
Someone Please Stop These Filmmakers!
Would someone out there please stop these filmmakers from making movies ever again? Every movie they have made has been awful, awful, awful! No point at all, just random strings of thin movie parodies/spoofs stuck together with no real connection between them. Lots of midget/sex/poop jokes with no point and worst of all they are not even funny! When you have a movie that's only 80 minutes long with about 30 jokes a minute and all of these movies fail to make us laugh even one time, there is something seriously wrong with your movie making skills. How do these guys keep getting to make movies? Do they actually make money with these awful things? Who watches/enjoys this crap? Terrible movies made by -- I can only guess they are idiots or brain damaged monkeys.
Hiccups (2010)
Like Flaming Needles In My Eyes!
Hiccups is so awful that it is actually physically painful to me to watch it. As bad as that other awful, former-Corner Gas-cast-members show Dan for Mayor is, Hiccups is a hundred times worse.
Brent Butt is back in a much less funny role (even compared to the last couple seasons of Corner Gas when it was not a very good show at all). He is a life coach who is inexplicably married to a much better looking and much, much younger Hispanic wife, and who is out of money. As luck would have it, another former Corner Gas employee, Nancy Robertson, needs to hire him to help her because she often overreacts and has complete fits in front of people even though she is a.... wait for it.... children's book author! Get it? She writes books for kids but she freaks out about stuff! Imagine it.... now whatever you are imagining, know that it is much funnier than this show actually is.
The writing is terrible and every performance is wooden. Half the time what the characters are doing doesn't even make any sense. I can't believe this show is actually on the air.... it's shows like this that give Canadian TV a bad name.
Dan for Mayor (2010)
Performed, Conceived and Written by Idiots?
This is my theory.... that the show "Dan For Mayor" was created by a group of complete idiots who also write the show and perform all the characters. What other reason could there be for this show to be so completely bad in every respect? First of all is the main character, Dan, does he seem familiar to you because to me he is Hank from "Corner Gas". That wouldn't be so bad except after the first two or three seasons maybe of Corner Gas all the characters on that show because one dimensional, predictable, and old hat. That show went off the air before it became too awful but with Hank still on the air in this show he has gotten so unfunny that I can't stand watching him for more than a second or two. The other characters are equally bad. One dimensional, unbelievable, and un-entertaining/unfunny. The acting is not very good. His romantic challenger, who is/was engaged to his ex-girlfriend, is particularly awful. His friend/campaign manager is one note and boring. The two young girls Hank/Dan may be interested in are good looking enough but neither is a very good actress and neither have much acting experience (no surprise there). The writing is terrible (clicking the names shows it's the same group of guys who did "Corner Gas", they are probably just out of ideas and too busy cashing cheques from making that show to come up with good original ideas. This show is terrible and well worth skipping.
Little Mosque on the Prairie (2007)
Terrible Acting + Terrible Writing = Terrible Show
Little Mosque on the Prairie was so over-hyped by CBC that I am actually angry. All those advertisements probably cost a whole lot of money, mostly the tax dollars that CBC is given to stay on the air obviously, plus the tax dollars that were wasted just making this show.... it makes me seriously angry.
And the hype was a terrible idea. Sure a lot of people watched the premiere, and it hitched onto the whole "Corner Gas" phenomena which was huge at the time (before Corner Gas became a bad show itself) by setting itself in Saskatchewan, but as soon as anyone saw it they realised how awful it was. People were actually worried it would be too offencive! The show is somewhere on the level of offensiveness scale between peanut butter and a glass of water. If you are offended by this show I hope it is the atrocious attempts at comedy that are offending you. The writing is so predictable and so elementary that it makes me vomit in my mouth just thinking about it. These people actually get paid to write this garbage! The acting is the show's real undoing though. Not a single one of these characters can deliver their lines in at all a believable way. It's hard to tell if it is the writing or the horrible acting that ruins every possibility for a joke/laugh in this show. The two main characters, Amaar and Rayyan, couldn't act their way out of a dollar store paper bag. They are seriously two of the worst actors I have ever seen on a TV show, and they are the main cast members for some reason! What is CBC thinking?
This Hour Has 22 Minutes (1993)
Once Great, Now Awful
This Hour Has 22 Minutes used to be one of the best Canadian-made comedy shows on the CBC network. As a Brit expat (long long ago I declared myself Canadian first) I was proud to have such sharp political comedy on the air. Now it is the states that has good poli-comedy though, led by Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report. Royal Canadian Air Farce was terrible for years and years before CBC finally put it down and now This Hour Has 22 Minutes is suffering the same drawn-out, sad fate. If anyone had any mercy they would have pulled the plug on this show several years ago. The last three years in particular have been just awful, with recurring bad sketches, by-the-numbers performances, and some of the worst writing I've seen on Canadian TV (well, again, Royal Canadian Air Farce was walking dead for several years as well). Rick Mercer has also lost my attention completely with no reason (political or comedy) to watch him. I hope CBC wakes up and cancels these shows and replaces them with something fresh by different people, perhaps boredom after so many years on the air is responsible for these terrible shows. While they're at it they should cancel Little Mosque on the Prairie and a few other perennial losers.
Kenny vs. Spenny (2002)
Obviously Fake
I don't understand why people actually argue that this show is a "reality" show and enjoy it for all the stunts they pull on/with each other. Sure they actually do the stuff, they will tape themselves together or annoy people in the streets, but the results are obviously -- obviously -- scripted and even the stuff that happens completely "unexpectedly" is also carefully planned out. Case in point, when one of the guys climbs out the upstairs window to sneak away from the other guy and cheat on a challenge, and then they cut to him climbing out the window outside, how do you think the camera crew got there? They jumped out the window with all their gear? They walked right by the other guy through the house? No, it's a planned TV show and it is one of the most obviously fake "reality" shows I have seen, so I am not entertained by this show one bit. Kenny is pretty good (if he is the shorter, chubbier, grosser one) in his role as a cheating slob but the whiny, taller Spenny is so over the top and desperate to seem "real" that he fails completely. He is annoying and seems to be genuinely an unlikeable person in real life. I root for the other guy but even when he wins (most of the time) I don't really care and feel cheated because it was all scripted. Like WWE wrestling this show is fake, people! I give it 2 points because at least Kenny is sometimes entertaining and although it's scripted they do actually perform these stupid stunts.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
Classically Awful!
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a classic in B-movie awfulness. It is about, as the title says, Santa Claus being attacked at the north pole by Martians. The film never does a very good job of explaining why they really need to get Santa so badly, but it takes surprisingly little effort for a small number of earthling heroes to rescue Santa from the Martians so that Christmas can be saved. The acting, particularly by the Martians, is really awful. This movie is better watched and enjoyed as an episode of Mystery Science Theatre. You won't find many worse movies than this, and as an added bonus you can see Pia Zadora in it!
The Town (2010)
Okay
The Town is an okay movie, not great and not bad. I give it an average rating of 5 points out of 10 on the I.M.D.B. system of weights and balances, ha ha.
Director Ben Affleck does a decent job with the material. The story is very gritty for him but it is also kind of predictable and trying to follow the footsteps of movies such as The Departed. The acting is fairly ho-hum in quality and as I said it is a predictable story, it is gritty and supposedly "real" to some but I never really was convinced I was watching anything but a Hollywood movie. It never really drew me in to the story.
I'd say it's worth seeing but save your 10 quid and catch it on D.V.D. I saw it with friends and we had an O.K. time.... as I said it is O.K.
Kuffs (1992)
Underrated Comedy Jem!
I just saw Kuffs and can't believe I have never ever heard of it before. It stars Christian Slater as George Kuffs, a slacker/loser who leaves his pregnant girl friend. His brother runs a privately owned police agency (they are not the official police of San Francisco but a title at the beginning of the movie explains that since sometime in the 1800s they have set up privately owned police agencies in different districts around the city) and after some strange circumstances Kuffs ends up being one of these "sheriffs for hire" tracking down the vicious gang that was going after his brother. There are some good jokes and the action is okay it also doesn't have too much swearing or nudity or blood/guts so it is okay for most people, PG-13 and safe at that rating even.