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r-bodley-1
To the owners, do you understand yet that you have completed invalidated every aspect of the credibility of this platform? That you make the official Critic reviews on Rotten Tomatoes seem more credible by comparison?
Do you remember when we all got annoyed at the fake reviews being paid for on stuff we were trying to purchase off your site? On what planet were you all on where you convinced yourself we all felt any different about reviews for digital products we are trying to buy?
You have polluted the water and I dont surf here anymore
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Shark Squad (2017)
Full of 1970's schoolboy level factual errors
Phrases like ''The great white shark has the strongest bite of any fish", WRONG! The bull shark has the most powerful bite of any fish, relative to their body size, bull sharks bite harder than other shark including the great white by a factor of 10x harder and more depending on where in the mouth the measurement is taken, I could go on but I don't think i am going to make it to the end of the first episode at this rate
Lone Survivor (2013)
Just as well those Taliban can't shoot straight huh?
Or this movie/true story would have ended after 45 minutes, but thankfully for the 'true story' the Tallis could only shoot toes and buttox and elbows and fingers with their Ak-47's and rocket launchers and such and any actual body shots were thankfully not immediately fatal, compared to the headshots popping from the marines left right and centre it just became comical (almost bullet for bullet at one point).
At that rate of accuracy i am amazed there are any Taliban fighters left on that planet with the headshot ratio in regards to bullets fired and headshots acquired, don't think i was ever even that good on Counterstrike back in the day.
I am sure as mentioned by the other reviewers that kit details, camp set out and beards and sunglasses details were very accurate and I am thankful for that aspect of the storytelling, which is what this is storytelling, only truth being is that a bunch of Marines went in and only one came out and as we know from the title at the end of this misery there was a lone survivor so is there any need to even watch it, obviously the lone survivor he can the tale however he likes with as many Marines getting headshots as he needs and he clearly did, unless the producers felt the story needed embellished to keep us watching and are responsible for the headshot count.
I mean no offence to any soldiers out there fighting these corporate wars, out there doing their duty but i see no justification in ever taking a human life, i don't care what religion, colour or creed they hold true, or what they done or didn't do, life is either sacred for all or not at all, it is black and white not shade of grey.
History will look back on this era with shame and we all share it equally, we have global awareness for the first time in human history and we turn a blind eye to the disgraceful behaviour of our political elite and the wars they have us fight in their cause, through inaction we are as much to blame as those who make it happen.
All in this is the worst war film i have ever watched, true story or not.
RIP everyone on both sides who died in the making of this true story(all the human beings, yes that includes The Marines and The Taliban soldiers), my condolences to all your loved ones left behind in pain, don't worry no goats were harmed (just people) in the making of this true story although they are everywhere when the shizer hits the air circulation apparatus the marines were focusing on Taliban headshots and the Taliban fighters (although clearly inhuman as depicted) did not feel the need to slaughter the goats to get to the Marines.
RoboCop (2014)
What a joke
How the heck did this film get past funding? Seriously even the spin off TV show from 1994 was better, the animated series had more graphic violence and more in common with the original than this joke.
It is only because of the original movie that i am putting the effort in to write this review
Every single scene from the original was far superior in every single way to this garbage, everything from the dark humour to the cinematic impact on the viewer is completely absent from this vacuous new offering, acting was limp, a real antagonist was non existent, no Clarence Boddicker, no Dick Jones (2 of the finest yuppy villains to grace our screens in the 80's), no cool bad guy gang, no class or style except from Gary Oldman who was sadly not enough to make this movie anymore enjoyable or worth more than 1 rating, i'd give zero if it was an option.
When i first heard they were remaking Robocop i knew they could not ever match the original but i thought it would at least have more credibility than the animated series.
The core of the problem is the cgi, it just leaves you devoid of any emotion toward the action, ED-209 is a zero impact character in this movie, as you know in the original ED-209 was legendary and cemented itself into your mind even as it got blown to bits from the Cobra Assault Cannon (state of the art bang bang) with nothing but a pair of legs left and gyroscope element twitching like a dead nerve impulse in a once living creature, original Ed-209 was a beast, new ed-209 didn't even raise a single goosebump, alive or dead. Same goes for every aspect of Robocop himself, by the end i was willing the real Robo to make an appearance spin out his gun and blow this sh!te away off my screen, deliver a classic one liner and walk off,
"Thank you for your cooperation, good night"
Oldboy (2013)
Why why why?
So then 2014 is officially the year of the most atrocious remakes of films that NEVER EVER needed remade(not even when 3d is real 3d in another 20 years or so).
The effects of the originals do not look dated yet and neither do the cinematic aspects of the direction or story telling. Stuff like this makes me wish we had never come down from the trees, this would get my vote for worst remake of all time if i had not just suffered the misery of the Robocop 2014.
What gets me more than anything is 'they' obviously choose these movies to remake based on how loved they are and how they still they have a massive fanbase with potential to milk us for currency, do 'they' not realise these exact people are those who will be the main audience for these remakes (if there is an audience at all) and because they love the originals so much that if injustice is done outrage ensues?
Surely this does not need explained to people spending and chasing the dollars in the movie making circles?!?
Surely the idiots putting up the money for this tripe know this, I personally feel i am owed money from the producers of this movie for the entry fee i wasted on cinema tickets and popcorn, lets not get started on my expectations of entertainment and a credible retelling.
Because of this movie and Robocop 2014 i will NEVER EVER watch another remake of a movie i had previously enjoyed, be warned Hollywood! I and people like me am your target audience for this drivel as I have paid to watch remakes of almost every movie i ever enjoyed up to this date in my life (i know embarrassing we are as much to blame as everyone involved in the production on some level and i apologise profusely to you all and myself), even the ones like Robocop 2014 which had abysmal reviews before i even had a chance to view it deciding that i will make my own mind up about how bad/good a remake it is, i know i am not alone in my disgust and fury.
This type of movie makes me wish i didn't have a pulse.