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johnnyrockets55
Reviews
Road House (2024)
The band keeps playing
A updated version of one of the greatest bad movies of the 80's. Yes I watched the original numerous times but I was a much younger male then and there were very good looking girls showing some skin in that movie. It became a classuc over time as a monster truck destroys a car dealership w no repercussions. Brilliant. This one does not have the women. It still has the ridiculousness of just being able to destroy property without any body getting in trouble. This one is all about showing men in really good shape fighting. Yup lots of fighting, so much fighting that it is really redundant. A whole bar breaks out in a fight where everybody is fighting and the band continues to play. That is the point. Just like the band not caring about the fight. Great, fight fight fight but who cares, not me. Still just entertaining enough to watch, but only once.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
I've seen a better version
This was a better movie when it was called Starship Troopers.
Buffaloed (2019)
Dumb
Starts fine and 20 minutes into the story, it just gets dumb and not entertaining. This is definitely a if you're in pandemic shut down it might be worth tuning in and get through 90 minutes, but in regular times I would pass.
The Politician (2019)
Predictable
I was entertained on occasion. Good cast, even though they are way to old for these roles, but it is like watching something where the writer and director are just trying to show off that they are smart and artsy. They really aren't. Every twist or cliff hanger was very predictable. If it weren't for quarantine I would have stopped watching after a couple of episodes. Not horrible but nothing to tell others to watch.
Bachelor Night (2014)
Quality topless women
It does have topless women. Other than that the attempt at humor sucks. Cliche male dominance movie. Again it does have topless and hot women.
Beach Massacre at Kill Devil Hills (2016)
Not Bad Good, Just Bad
I don't do many reviews, but I was compelled on this one as I can't believe this movie. I gave it 2 stars because they finished a movie so that right there gives it a extra star. I am still trying to figure out what this was I just tried to watch. There is no massacre. There is nothing but bad editing and really bad dialogue. Diana Prince naked couldn't even save it as they couldn't even make the cut of her topless seamless. I have never seen so many jump cuts. I think the camera they used is the same one they used as a prop in the movie. You can try to watch this, but there is nothing remotely redeemable in this movie. Again the script is bad. There is actually a edit where the girls are talking but there is music over them. So again there is good bad, but this is just bad bad.
Girls Guns and Blood (2019)
Funny Sexy Good Time
Was at the showing in LA and boy did the crowd love it. Girls Guns and Blood is presented as a action movie, which it has, but in reality it is a great comedy. The audience, including myself laughed out loud on numberous occasions. I do advise getting it and watching it. I bought it after the showing and watched it again. I caught more jokes and found it better the second time.
Overboard (1987)
Used to like this movie
I have to admit I have watched this movie many times and there are some funny things in it. Seeing Goldie Hawn is always a good thing. I do not think that I can support this movie anymore. A guy takes advantage of a woman that has lost her memory? Basically puts her through hell as a slave. Then falls for her and decides to have sex with her? Isn't that highly illegal? Shouldn't he be on a registry somewhere for this? Instead he gets the Coast Guard to help him and gets the girl. The girl is transformed through rape. I have to say I cannot watch this ever again. Still give it a 2 for the couple of funny things in it, but again this is a poorly thought out premise. Even though I understand that 1987 was a different time (that was the year of the release of the movie). I am sure people will read this and go, come on it is a movie. Think about it though.
Bikini Barbershop: Jersey (2012)
Could be best show on TV
I do not expect a lot of you to agree, but this show could be the best show on TV. It is absolutely ridiculous. The lead guy (owner of the shop) Jeff is probably the funniest guy on television. All he does is argue with his employees, hits on everything that moves, and says really off the wall stuff that is usually in a sexual reference. Brilliant is all I can say. There are also girls in bikinis. How can you beat that? There is the nagging one that is always fighting with Jeff. Entertaining to a point and she is attractive. There is Laura which is the only one with a good head on her shoulders (and she does have some shoulders). There is Natalie which is the adorable hot girl that even though she makes rude remarks to the owner, you can tell that she actually remotely cares (oh ya her mom is really hot also). There is Kim, that I don't even know why she is there. Then there is Alissa. Really hot, but you can tell she is trying to be smart and it just doesn't work for her. Still I would choose her to cut my hair because I she is great to look at and would be fun to see what sort of stuff she would make conversation with.
Again this show is not rocket science. In fact it is one of those shows that you cant believe you are watching. As you watch, you realize how hilarious it is. There is rarely anyone ever getting their hair cut. The arguments are great. Jeff is the greatest character on TV today and I would fly out there just to get my haircut done here, but if I showed and they were not arguing then I would feel like I got ripped off. If you do watch this, do not give up on the stupidity. It grows on you and it is great. I hope there is a season two. It is great to have something to dumb down to after real life. Also keep up the great work Jeff. You are a classic.
The Happening (2008)
Horrible Script and a really bad movie
Where to start. I was really looking forward to this movie, and am a big fan of Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel. the first 5 minutes of the movie is good, but it goes down hill from there and does not stop going down hill until the ending credits. I mean this is one of those movies that I wanted to pull my hair out because it is so frustratingly bad.
The story is there is something in the air that is causing people to stop in their tracks and kill themselves. OK sounds like a good story, but it is not. The leads flee Philly in a train station that has no sign of panic because it is only happening in NYC at this point. The train stops in some rural town and the crew only tells Wahlberg that they have lost contact with everyone. Everybody then goes to the diner and they have the greatest day of business ever until the TV tells everyone that it is spreading to small towns and that it is clear about 90 miles west of where they are at. Everybody scrambles, but in one of the numerous flaws people drive off in both directions instead of all just going west. A jeep the seats 5, uncomfortably I must add, waits for a stranger (one of the leads) to drive into the heart of the infestation. How stupid is that? And on top of that they wait about 5 minutes for a complete stranger while he gives his goodbyes and then gives him the front seat in a jeep while the people that all know each other are cramped in the back. Unreal.
The other 2 leads head off with some plant guy that wastes 3 minutes of our time talking about hot dogs and such. He also says that it might be the plants doing this. So they all take off and confront a 4 way stop in the road where from each direction cars are coming and where behind them there is death. The group grows and someone is on the phone with a girl from the town where the other idiot went to in the jeep and they are all dead. This is where you see some of the worst extra work ever seen on film. I mean it is bad and MW takes over the phone in order to let everyone hear the girl killing herself. Brilliant. So before the girl on the phone kills herself he tells her to stay away from the window by the tree because remember it is the plants doing this. She doesn't and dies. MW goes off upset about this right in the middle of a bunch of weeds and plants on the side of the road. Genius.
OK I am getting tired, but this is how bad this movie. This group of people decide that the bigger the population the more chance of being infected. The decide to head to walk to a town with a small population, but the population of that town is bigger than them just standing there, and oh ya they have to walk through the fields to get there and all there are all plants in the fields. Do you see how bad this is? The bigger group kills themselves and so MW says they need to be in even smaller groups, but decides to keep 2 kids that they don't know to stay with them even though 3 is less than 5. the only reason these kids are with them is so they can get shot later in the movie.
That is when I walked out, but had to go back because I was told it gets worse on my way out. The last thing that I will say is when MW and ZD are split up at the end and he says he wants to be with her if they are going to die and he is coming to her. So he goes outside and instead of running to her he walks slowly. What a dumb A**. Then after all of it is over and they go to 3 months later and it is the first day of school. Now I remember after 9-11 it took a week for airports to reopen. For this event there would have to have been about 50 million dead and within 3 months everything is back to normal. Also ZD is looking at her pregnancy test while there are 3 house plants on the shelf behind her and outside the street is still lined with trees, meanwhile on the TV the plants are being blamed for the event that they are getting us back. I would have the scorched earth on those trees. Thanks for listening and this movie is not even good for a laugh.