SlowDave1 Reviews

Grand Prix: The Winning Tale (2011)

Bad movie! Just poorly done, period.

[1/10 · 28 April 2013]

Disclaimer: I saw about 10 minutes of this movie.

Okay, a movie about go-kart racing, and I'm a huge racing fan--it's got to be good! Except... first, when I turn it on, there are 2-stroke carts racing. But the soundtrack is some kind of low rpm 4-stroke, sounds more like a water pump engine chugging away. Maybe a farm tractor at almost constant rpm. Every now and then you can hear an actual kart engine in the background that I guess they forgot to cut out or something. It's horrible. Then there's the end of the race. Someone wins (hope that's not considered a spoiler), but it's completely unclear who wins from the camera work.

Next, some horrible dialogue and someone punches someone else and starry-eyed girl... Okay, I can't write anymore. I have seen MUCH better high school plays. This was a horribly done movie, and I am absolutely positive of that in only seeing 10 minutes.

Torchlight (1984)

worst movie ever made

[1/10 · 12 October 2008]

I only regret that they don't allow negative ratings on here. Here's my plot spoiler: successful couple, man gets on coke, loses job, does more coke, loses marriage, house, does more coke, loses everything else, does more coke, loses everything else else that wasn't in the first everything else, does more coke... the end. I kept thinking SOMETHING would happen, but no, I was wrong.

I saw this movie when it first came out, over 20 years ago, and have continuously referred to it as the worst movie ever made. I guess I should really see it again to confirm that I still feel that way all these years later, but I'm not willing to go through that ordeal.

Anyone that had anything to do with this movie should be banned from movies or TV or anything else for life. That is all.