Jaybeyii Reviews

Wonka (2023)

If Annie were a chocolatier.

[6/10 · 19 March 2024]

Willard Wonka needs a dark side - the feel of Dahl's worldview. In this imagining he's only as sweet and magical as his candy. His drive to excel isn't a matter of revenge or a twisted childhood, but a desire to be as good as his mom believed him to be.

The Warner Brothers' production has out Disney'd Disney. The feel of this direction does to Wonka what Disney did to Mary Poppins (you never read the books where she'd pull off a finger for a snack?). Orphan Annie lived a Dickensian life before being "rescued" by an arms dealer and regularly had to be rescued by an mysterious mystic - not a kick line! Maybe a Dahl-based musical should be more like The Demon Barber?

Chalamet joins the likes of Lee Marvin and Rex Harrison of male leads who can't sing, but bravely soldier on. Too bad the studios don't have a male Marni Nixon to fill in. At least the tunes are forgettable (when not pulled from the Gene Wilder version).

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

Imaginative art direction, but....

[6/10 · 27 December 2023]

What do the Wizard of Oz, The Lord of the Rings, Rebel Moon and virtually every saga ever put on a screen? You know the answer.

The plucky but reluctant hero collects fellow adventurers like the underside of my bed collects dust bunnies.

No trope is left unemployed. The backstory of trying to leave a violent past and live a pastoral life until danger comes to call. The rascal who Hans Soloes from a morally ambiguous opportunist into a heroic leader (or does he?). The jackbooted, self indulgent, sadist, willing to destroy a planet to make a point. The utter disregard for physics and the fact that in space you can't hear rockets and things going boom! Oh, yes, there's the Seven Samurai/Magnificent Seven/The Three Amigos plot of a poor village needed warriors to defend it. Oh, and a hot Asian woman with swords.

But it does have Anthony Hopkins as a robot's voice. So it has that going for it.

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Pointless

[5/10 · 17 December 2023]

"Leave the World Behind" is as enigmatic and ultimately as pointless as "Lost." Although it throws in a series of spectacular special effects, the fact that some (ship grounding, planes crashing) are at least conceivable if not probable, others (mysterious deer activity, and leaflet bombing) are unexplainable.

I find this dog's dinner of doom to be reminiscent of "Say Nothing" in that the characters are by turns tropes and dopes. The dynamic between the children is as erratic and believable as rest of this mess.

But there some merit to be found in this gobbler, it's turgid pacing provides the film's rare benefit, in that it's as good as a glass of warm milk for lulling one to sleep.

The Happytime Murders (2018)

I'm a 12 year-old trapped in. 71 year-old body!

[10/10 · 11 February 2023]

This was so ridiculous, so hilarious, such a never-ending trope of buddy-cop movies that there is only one conclusion: Anyone who gives this a crappy rating or review is a shriveled, dried up old prune!

When you think of the of the buddies in BRIGHT, you're reminded that taking a fantasy premise seriously is simply impossible. Can you make a drama about a New York detective working with his Soviet counterpart? Sure. Can you make a comedy about two antagonistic Chicago cops being forced to work as partners? Sure. These are at least possible, real world scenarios. But if you're going to ROGER RABBIT a plot, you've got to stick to laughs.

And this one does. Juvenile, raunchy, crude, R-rated laughs. Enjoy and ignore the lemon suckers.

Bathtubs Over Broadway (2018)

There's Something Wrong With Me!

[9/10 · 20 January 2023]

This documentary is both empirically AND ironically hilarious.

I am so glad to have come across this project.

We are treated to the wonderfully weird world of the trade show musical. Unless you'd been invited to a corporate trade show in the 50's, 60's, and 70's you'd never know this art form even existed.

These sometimes elaborate shows may have starred the same talent you'd have seen on Broadway. Tony Randall, Martin Short, Florence Henderson and a host of others were joined by endless others in these one-time shows! In fact, many of the largest productions might have cost more to produce than a Broadway hit show and had been written by the same talent, too.

Silicone, bras, autos, beer, appliances, and just about every industry were all subject to song and dance. Some have been preserved on records, a precious few on film.

The documentary is a window on America before the era of "malaise," when the three-martini lunch fueled the greatest sales force the world has ever seen.

See it, laugh at the era's naïveté and optimism, but mourn a little for their loss.

White Noise (I) (2022)

Great Credits!

[4/10 · 8 January 2023]

This unfortunate mess of a movie fails in so many ways. But the ending credits (over eight minutes long) are a delight. Powered by "New Body Rhumba" (LCD SOUNDSYSTEM), the Twila Tharp - inspired dance number in the A&P only needs a film to proceed it.

The repeated use of the supermarket is inventive, What precisely the allegory represents is either the meaningless of life, shallow over-consumerism of contemporary society, or that they blew the budget on special effects and had to keep reusing the set. Unfortunately the effect it's too reminiscent of the infinitely superior period suburban Edward Scissorhands.

I admit to failing to understand why such a dark film would be called comedic. Wooden delivery isn't ironic (the old adage: You can put them in front of a camera but you can't make them act).. I admit to being old-fashioned enough to also require plot and even Steven Spielberg film children are less annoying.

So, fast forward through the first two hours and eight minutes and enjoy the rest!

Sing 2 (2021)

The Story Appeals as the Animation Dazzles.

[9/10 · 29 June 2022]

I don't know why we should connect with any animated characters. They're not real, are they? Digital animation is even LESS material than the traditional type, right? Yet, a feel good story where the kids put on a hit show in a borrowed venue has worked since the Garland/Rooney team lit up silver screens. This one, too.

The songs move the story along, the animation and color pallets are light-years ahead of my childhood's Fantasia.

I will give you spoilers: It's Funny and you're going to enjoy yourself.

Technological Marvels of the Ancient World (2005)

Accurate and No Aliens!

[8/10 · 3 May 2022]

The series is intelligently narrated in an understated and subdued manner interspersed with footage of contemporary researchers contributing additional insight. The visual components are well chosen, the graphics and other production elements are professional and informative, and much of the archival footage is rarely seen elsewhere.

The material is presented in what is called a "popular" way. Think National Geographic or Discover magazines.

The viewer is warned, however, that the narration and screen shots often differ in subject matter. For example, while the voice over may be speaking of the contents of a Byzantine ship the visual is of cargo from the Bronze Age.

So, while the series might fall a little short for a professional seminar, it is an excellent and (most importantly) non-sensational introduction to the subject.

Kalashnikov (2020)

The Selfless Hero of the Motherland

[7/10 · 19 April 2022]

I'm sympathetic to the notion that a society must create a mythos. We in the US have invented cinematic portraits of Washington, Lincoln, Edison, and other greats that are so whitewashed that when realistic views are presented that they're considered revisionist!

However, the old Soviet style glorified heroes are so airbrushed as to be caricatures: Handsome, selflessly devoted to duty, darkly introspective. In short, models for inspiration rather than illumination.

1883 (2021–2022)

Cowboy Poetry

[9/10 · 2 February 2022]

Maybe the West wasn't populated by men as hard as these. But maybe it was.

Maybe the narration and dialogue is too romantic, but maybe it's not exaggerated.

Was "Lonesome Dove" accurate? I don't know.

But, as the line from "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence" said: When the legend become fact, print the legend.

Medical Police (2020)

Leave the comedy to the professionals, please.

[6/10 · 21 December 2021]

Do you remember the Naked Gun series? You'll be a little disappointed.

Do you think Adam Sandler is funny? You'll be a lot disappointed.

Do you think Space Force is funny?

You'll think this is hilarious.

O.k. I give it a "6" because there's about one laugh line per episode.

But why Netflix throws money at this while trash canning quality show like Alter Carbon is just baffling.

The Wolf's Call (2019)

A moderately entertaining film.

[4/10 · 9 December 2021]

Take Dr Strangelove or FAILSAFE and a bit of The Hunt for Red October (and a dash of The Bedford Incident and you get this.

I don't know how a SONAR operator is supposed to concentrate on detecting the faintest and subtlest sounds while his superiors are leaning over his shoulder shouting: "Get me an identification!" Nor do I know how just two men can survive an explosion that kills everyone else on a 300' boat whose conning tower is blown off without letting in any water.

Never mind, the movie is just a mess.

The Forgotten Battle (2020)

Better than expected

[9/10 · 21 October 2021]

Excellent in many ways. The graphic battle scenes only take a back seat to Saving Private Ryan. But, like Dunkirk, hundreds substituted for thousands.

The acting is believable (and Susan Radder looks like a young Ingrid Bergman), and the story is too.

Recommended to all the WW2 film aficionados.

Moontrap: Target Earth (2017)

The River of Wasted Time

[3/10 · 19 July 2021]

Nonsensical script.

As to supporting cast acting: To paraphrase George Burns: You need someplace to be lousy in order to get good.

As to direction: Slower pacing than Solaris.

Gunpowder Milkshake (2021)

This is Fun

[8/10 · 17 July 2021]

It's improbable. The Kingsmen mashed up with Pulp Fiction, and The Old Bunch. Just comic violence a la Formula 51. Just turn it on, turn off your brain, and enjoy!

Company of Heroes (2013 Video)

Sad, for the wrong reason.

[4/10 · 16 June 2021]

A lot of good money bravely died in the making of this film.

The plot is as improbable as that of Star Wars. But that film was set in a galaxy far, far away, not in a world where real heroes from WWII still walk among us.

The Irregulars (2021)

Obtrusive anachronistic language.

[4/10 · 4 April 2021]

I like the stories. But why use modern language and attitudes? While the actors are up to the miserable script, the modern demographics grafted onto a gothic horror just annoys me.

Try the Frankenstein Chronicles instead.

The Vast of Night (2019)

A Gem

[8/10 · 14 January 2021]

Much like "Tales From the Loop," script and acting take precedence over effects and bloated budgets. This is a sweet ride. Take it.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

A Comic doesn't have to be a cartoon.

[4/10 · 4 January 2021]

Look, I can suspend belief to allow for a Wonder Woman, super speed and invisible plane included. But I cannot accept a Smithsonian employee being cavalier about custody of materials in their care! I'm a big fan of Kristen Wiig, and while she may have been the only actor who wasn't just "phoning it in," her character was written by amateurs (or a committee/focus group). Just a sad come down from the earlier appearances of Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman.

The Midnight Sky (2020)

Not Solaris

[8/10 · 27 December 2020]

This is not a sci fi shoot 'em up. There's not a space monster in sight. It's maybe a bit slow paced for the attenuated attention span of the modern age, but it sets the mood. You'll find the setting appropriate, too. The mood is "On the Beach" meets "Another Life."

However, the "science" part of Sci Fi is absent. Ignoring hypothermia and cold water shock is as distracting as it was during the interior scenes of "Titanic." And l can't ignore the egregious'50's-era silliness of a deep space mission "wandering" off course, and the concept of "uncharted" regions of snowball-infested space. Not to mention ignoring the reality of time delayed radio over interplanetary distances and Newtonian laws of motion regarding the propulsion of the vessel.

The Man Who Came to Dinner (1941)

Ann Sheridan Glows

[7/10 · 27 November 2020]

A high school production can be as enjoyable as this poorly directed effort. While Monte Woolley chews up the scenery, and the character actors are competent, this is not a good vehicle for Betty Davis. Most of the glamor is provided by the beautiful Ann Sheridan. In fact, she's so gorgeous that it's hard to dislike her as the plot requires. I'm also surprised the censors missed her obvious nipples under the flimsy outfit she wore to seduce Bert.

Away (2020)

Technical Errors.

[5/10 · 27 September 2020]

Ok, I'm a space nerd. The right stuff should be accurate stuff! Let's start with the stroll on the moon: Moon dust is gritty, clingy, grey glass. It's an abrasive powder that you'd never want to casually experience and NEVER introduce into an interior environment. There is no significant atmosphere on the moon. Skipping around certainly kicks up dust - the dust doesn't float in puffy clouds, it drops as fast as a hammer would. Space walking tether: This was the same silliness from Gravity (and every '50's B-Space film). If you shoot to the end of your rope you'll spring back. You don't hang there like a rock climber in a B-Adventure film. I'm very happy to learn they'll have invented FTL communication so you don't get that annoying lag when phoning home from millions of miles away. But the vintage 2020's cellphones are certainly a futuristic touch. But I won't ask why the rocket has fins.

Enola Holmes (2020)

Pluck and Charm

[9/10 · 27 September 2020]

I believe Millie Bobby Brown is the best actress working today and this film (for which she has Producer credits) is perfect for her self-possessed personality. The action, a plot compact if a bit cartoonish, moves right along with an appropriate sense of humor and just enough optimism and sentimentality (and, yeah, girl power).

The Ottoman Lieutenant (2017)

Romantic but Flawed

[6/10 · 9 August 2020]

The film has good direction, an adequate romantic script, and fine cinematography. Its major flaw is Ms Hillman. Perhaps it's the fact that English isn't her native language, or there is an assumption that people spoke in a stilted manner in the early 20th century; but as lovely as she is, her dialogue comes across as amateurish.

Tiny Creatures (2020)

Exceptional Cinematography but...

[6/10 · 8 August 2020]

This is a technological advancement on the educational nature films of the 50's and 60's. Astonishing footage and excellent technical editing but the script.... The subject is always in danger from tooth, claw, fang, man but PG outcomes and a cheesy narration limit the appeal to juveniles.