okay, i'm not writing this to be a jerk or anything, but i felt so strongly about this movie, i felt that i must. i saw this movie without knowing anything about it, aside from that it was shot locally (to me) in Webster. i knew it was about a guy who sets up a dating service in a supermarket threatened to be bought out by an evil businessman. i didn't really know what i expected to see, maybe a cheesy movie to laugh at, or a hastily put together b-movie that would also be funny in its own right, or maybe something that was genuinely funny and good. i have seen many terrible, terrible movies. most of the movies i really love are "bad" movies, crummy
horror and sci-fi flicks. but 'checkout' was /the/ worst movie i have seen thus far in my life.
i love romance, i am an utter and total fool for sap, and i love weepy romantic drama. but this movie demonstrated every cliché and pitfall of every romantic comedy that has been put out by Hollywood in the past decade. it was totally predictable, smarmy, badly acted and written. the good-hearted lovable loser: he's there. the girl-that-got-away-but-comes-back: she's there. the quasi-rebellious-lewd-jerk-who-reforms-later: he's there. there was even a homosexual character who's seemingly only purpose was there as comic relief and crude stereotypical jokes based on the fact that he's gay. these particular jokes weren't offensive, per se, but just the fact that the character /was/ so stereotyped and generic was offensive in its own right. anyway, the evil business man: he's there also. the girl's-new-fiancé-who-can't-handle-her-old-family-and-friends: he's there. everything works out perfectly in the end of the movie, characters who had previous tiffs make up with moving dialogue, as they understand the wrongs they have committed. there's even a part where a male character dresses up as a woman that's seemingly a part of the plan to save the supermarket. i expected this to go somewhere, but afterwards, there was /no/ apparent reason for it whatsoever. /why/ did he have to dress up as a woman?? besides just as a stupid, cheap gag???
the film's humor is all over the place and bland in every avenue: there's some bathroom humor in the beginning, some sexual jokes, fart jokes (which i will admit i laughed at, i can't help it when farts are involved), and then the aforementioned cross-dressing joke. none of it was original or unique, it was all derivative of countless dull, overused jokes in comedies today.
anyway, at the close of the film, i felt completely victimized and raped by this movie. yeah, i got in to see it for free, but that didn't help. this was an independent movie, free of lording hollywood producers and corporate limits. but why did it have to fall within those limits? why would it not have an independent flair instead of safely doing the same things that have been done in that genre a million times before? argh! every minute of this movie, from the cheesy animated title and comic-sans lettered credits, to the horrifically hokey ending and consistently flat characters, was pain. at parts i did laugh, but only out of the sheer agonizing need for release of my anguished emotions. i could only laugh because i could not believe my eyes and ears that this film was actually produced by a seemingly well-meaning, passionate filmmaker as-of-yet unconcerned with profits and pandering to the public. but this movie is the embodiment of pandering, safe, publicly accepted stories. then again.. it has caused a violent reaction within me and my friends. i guess that's good for something.
but in any case, if you want to see the same romantic comedy you've seen a trillion times before disguised as a shamelessly hackneyed, corny, utterly mediocre and oftentimes senseless film, see Checkout. as for me, if i hear "a dating service? in a supermarket??" one more time, i shall die. case closed.
horror and sci-fi flicks. but 'checkout' was /the/ worst movie i have seen thus far in my life.
i love romance, i am an utter and total fool for sap, and i love weepy romantic drama. but this movie demonstrated every cliché and pitfall of every romantic comedy that has been put out by Hollywood in the past decade. it was totally predictable, smarmy, badly acted and written. the good-hearted lovable loser: he's there. the girl-that-got-away-but-comes-back: she's there. the quasi-rebellious-lewd-jerk-who-reforms-later: he's there. there was even a homosexual character who's seemingly only purpose was there as comic relief and crude stereotypical jokes based on the fact that he's gay. these particular jokes weren't offensive, per se, but just the fact that the character /was/ so stereotyped and generic was offensive in its own right. anyway, the evil business man: he's there also. the girl's-new-fiancé-who-can't-handle-her-old-family-and-friends: he's there. everything works out perfectly in the end of the movie, characters who had previous tiffs make up with moving dialogue, as they understand the wrongs they have committed. there's even a part where a male character dresses up as a woman that's seemingly a part of the plan to save the supermarket. i expected this to go somewhere, but afterwards, there was /no/ apparent reason for it whatsoever. /why/ did he have to dress up as a woman?? besides just as a stupid, cheap gag???
the film's humor is all over the place and bland in every avenue: there's some bathroom humor in the beginning, some sexual jokes, fart jokes (which i will admit i laughed at, i can't help it when farts are involved), and then the aforementioned cross-dressing joke. none of it was original or unique, it was all derivative of countless dull, overused jokes in comedies today.
anyway, at the close of the film, i felt completely victimized and raped by this movie. yeah, i got in to see it for free, but that didn't help. this was an independent movie, free of lording hollywood producers and corporate limits. but why did it have to fall within those limits? why would it not have an independent flair instead of safely doing the same things that have been done in that genre a million times before? argh! every minute of this movie, from the cheesy animated title and comic-sans lettered credits, to the horrifically hokey ending and consistently flat characters, was pain. at parts i did laugh, but only out of the sheer agonizing need for release of my anguished emotions. i could only laugh because i could not believe my eyes and ears that this film was actually produced by a seemingly well-meaning, passionate filmmaker as-of-yet unconcerned with profits and pandering to the public. but this movie is the embodiment of pandering, safe, publicly accepted stories. then again.. it has caused a violent reaction within me and my friends. i guess that's good for something.
but in any case, if you want to see the same romantic comedy you've seen a trillion times before disguised as a shamelessly hackneyed, corny, utterly mediocre and oftentimes senseless film, see Checkout. as for me, if i hear "a dating service? in a supermarket??" one more time, i shall die. case closed.
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