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matthewboddy
Reviews
Venom (2018)
Terrible
I wanted this to be good even though all the warning signs pointed to the contrary. This is everything super hero movies shouldn't be. Disrespect the origin of the character. Script was horrible. Villain was lame and one dimensional. People were laughing in the theater at how bad it was. Should have given Sam raimi his own distinct venom film. What a waste
Stalker (1979)
What a waste of two and a half hours
I am tempted to give this 1 star to bring down the overall score as much as possible, but truth be told it wasn't that bad.
I'll go into what I liked first, which will be very limited, and into what I didn't like afterwards.
The good: The cinematography was stunningly realistic compared to the overly commercialized Hollywood BS we see nowadays. Have you ever noticed how every character in American movies is rich and drives a beautiful sports car? Not like real life at all. The characters in this movie are poor Russians living in Communism. Pretty realistic.
Also the film had good acting. I don't know who any of the actors were but I believed them, and they did a fantastic job telling a story on what looked to be a pittance of a filming budget.
The bad: Far too long. This could have easily been told in 90 minutes or less. The director was far too indulgent with non-essential elements of the film.
Far too boring. For so much of this movie, nothing is happening at all. The director will do these long still-camera shots of someone's head. Or a puddle. Or some trees. It contributes nothing to the story, and doesn't even look good. At times I felt myself thinking "what the hell is he trying to show us here?" In good storytelling, a writer or director should strive to eliminate redundancies. If something isn't essential to the story, cut it. The director obviously isn't familiar with that concept.
All suspense, no reward. The ending is a huge letdown. I won't tell you what it is, but let's just say the movies keeps you waiting and waiting and waiting, and then in the end you're left to wonder: "What the hell was that?" The Zone itself was also a huge letdown. It's literally just a bunch of fields somewhere in the middle of nowhere in Russia. The Stalker keeps warning them: "Oh the Zone is powerful. The Zone will punish you if you disrespect it. Don't back-track... The Zone will kill you!" And then nothing ever happens. No matter how the Writer and the Professor screw up or disrespect the Zone, nothing even happens to them.
Summary: If you want to try something off-the-cuff, and totally non-mainstream, give Stalker a whirl. There are worse ways to spend two and a half hours of your life. Like waiting in line at the post-office. Or stuck in a traffic jam. Or going into labour before giving birth. Hmmm on second thought, maybe I would prefer the traffic jam.
The Painted Veil (2006)
Boring and way too long
My girlfriend told me that this was a book. Sometimes it's hard to make books into movies effectively.
I found the story mildly entertaining. Hasty marriage, and the fallout. Which sort of goes from love, to hate, and back to love again.
It's a good revenge movie.
But overall I just found it really long and boring. There are all these pointless scenes of flowers and trees and other 'beautiful' things that don't really contribute to the story at all.
I think sometimes movies are made purely to try to win Oscars. But they end up being completely cliché and unoriginal.
Also, some of the 'English' accents in this movie are just horrible. Specifically Liev Schreiber, who doesn't sound English at all.
Lord Don't Slow Me Down (2007)
Doesn't do anything to improve my opinion of Oasis, but rather the opposite.
Good: At the end Noel makes a joke that they'll stop touring once Liam goes bald. That's pretty funny.
Bad: Almost everything else. The film is a mis-mash combination of "behind the scenes" band footage - that doesn't look at all spontaneous. Interviews (for example: where Liam tells the interviewer that 'life is good' because "I'm alive man" I didn't know he was in danger of dying at any point in time.... I suppose this is a reference to his 'rock and roll lifestyle' and the dawn of a new, more responsible age. But it's a bit over-dramatic if you ask me.
The concert footage is horrible - based on the fact that Liam can no longer sing, but rather screams in a raspy voice. He has ruined his voice through too much drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. The studio work is not bad at all, but the live performances are rubbish.
Also... I found Noel Gallagher to be quite rude in this film. At one point, the band sits around a tour bus mocking fan mail, and making fun of adoring fans. I found this pretty disgusting behavior, and something you would have never seen the Beatles do *who, by the way, had to deal with many crazier fans than oasis ever has - ie) mark chapman.
Later in the film, during a live performance: Noel tells the crowd that they should 'thank him' for the song 'don't look back in anger' when they *#$% their girlfriends...... Another very classy thing to say.
The Gallagher brothers enjoy comparing themselves to the Beatles, but truthfully they're nowhere close. It's not their music that holds them on a lower level, it's their disgusting personalities. Liam is like a brainless,uncreative John Lennon, and Noel is an evil, arrogant Paul McCartney.
Don't get me wrong. I am a huge Oasis fan. But I think they should give up trying to be funny and charming, and just stick to the music. Because they sound like idiots when they open their mouths for any other reason than singing.