burpingcat Reviews

Ultraviolet (2006)

Great imagination and visual style, but unjustly compared to bigger movies

[8/10 · 4 March 2006]

The worst part about Ultraviolet is that it has THREE genres of movies to compete with. People will compare it to the blockbusters of Sci-Fi movies, Martial Arts movies, and Heroine movies. It will have a tough time trying to stand out when people will inevitably compare it to HUGE movies like Crouching Tiger, The Matrix, Kill Bill, Underworld, etc.

Let's remember that Ultraviolet had a relatively small budget, and yet it did quite a bit with it. With all that said, let me say a few words, good and bad ones, on Ultraviolet.

Yes, the story in Ultraviolet is its weakest point. The problem is in the lack of emotional attachment to the characters, the odd choice and delivery of lines (although you can't deny how great the "It is on." line is), and the strange dream-like stuff it goes into at times.

A lot of the themes in this movie are very fleeting, maybe because they've just been done so often, they need no emphasis. There's one particular story element that you might miss ENTIRELY if you didn't pay attention during one shot. That's how little emphasis there is on story in this movie. The plot is also a little hard to follow at times because it jumps around.

It's strange to see so little emphasis on the story when we know from Equilibrium that Kurt Wimmer is very capable of writing a good story. It makes me wonder if the lack of story was intentional or not, but the unfortunate bottom line is that it hurts this movie.

So what saves this movie? Why 8 out of 10? If we were interested in movies only for their story, we wouldn't be interested in movies at all...we would all read books instead.

Yes, a movie is defined as picture and sound. In that case, Ultraviolet is quite an amazingly interesting picture and sound.

Ultraviolet sacrifices story for a very visceral picture and oodles of style. I haven't seen a movie that looks this COOL in a long time. It really reminds me of the type of style that 60's sci-fi movies were going for- very robust in color and costumes, but modernized and expanded for our time. It's certainly a very nice departure from the typical and BORING space station/stainless steel/green look of modern sci-fi.

The action is kick-ass, applause-worthy at times...although I'll admit that I've seen a bit better from similarly-budgeted movies ("Versus" comes to mind). They could've had some more variety to it (like maybe some better/badder foes), but considering who and what they were working with, I think they did a good job.

Another big strength of the movie is the very cool concepts. Color-changing outfits, gravity belts, disposable paper cellphones, crazy ninjas that drop out of planes like giant pinballs, and entire weapon arsenals stored in wrist devices. All of it with designer-quality fashion to it. You can tell where the budget went in this movie. Like I said, it's an older, weirder, more stylish sense of sci-fi that you don't see very often these days. In fact, a lot of this movie can be defined as set-pieces more so than a single flowing experience.

True, their ability to execute some of these ideas (specifically, the motorcycle chase) is limited by their budget. I think it can be overlooked, though. Some rough edges on CG never hurt anybody...anybody that wants to whine about the graphics really doesn't want to appreciate the movie for what it is.

Overall, I enjoyed this movie, more so for its visuals, music, concepts and set-pieces than for its story or characters. It's really quite interesting to look at. There are more moments in this movie that make me think 'awesome!' than in all of The Matrix trilogy. If this movie isn't a success, then I hope it at least inspires the movie that does get this particular formula just right.

Karate Warriors (1976)

Incoherent, amoral, and furious: THE WINNING COMBINATION!

[9 November 2003]

"Kozure satsujin ken", hereby referred to as "Karate Warriors", opens abruptly with a scene of yakuzas trashing a porno store. As the camera captures the action, zoomed-up and violently shaking, you can't help but ask yourself- "What the hell is going on?". This opening scene neatly summarizes the entire movie's strict three-part formula, which observant viewers can pick up on:

1. Plot scene

2. Female Nudity/Abuse/Sex scene

3. KARATE TIME

All aspiring film-makers take note, because that is the winning combination for a movie. Karate Warriors deals it in spades.

First, vaguely introduce characters by means of a plot scene. Make sure to show the entire character in the frame, so that people can see what he is wearing. Don't worry about introducing women, because as I will show in the next paragraph, they don't matter. If the character is holding something, it's even better. Make these scenes the most tame in the movie. In fact, don't even record audio for them. In Karate Warriors, they turned the microphones off for these parts, because as some old saying goes, Karate Warriors express themselves through their fists. The deaf silence of the lack of audio adds definite dramatic flair. However, don't feel pressured to actually explain any sort of story in these plot scenes. Karate Warriors didn't.

Next, bring in a female character. Karate Warriors had something like 10 female characters, and they all get raped or killed. Sonny Chiba expresses his cunning sexuality by having sex with one of them, immediately after she was abused and beaten by a belt! If they manage to escape the movie's fleeting plot without getting raped or killed, it's because they already showed their skin and made a run for it. In one of the last scenes, one of the women gets impaled by a sword, and the ruthless thugs just stand there with their arms folded, looking tough. In these days of film-making, you aren't going to get any attention from the independent film critics unless you get provocative!

By this time, you can predict that any time there is nudity or female abuse, the next scene will have what can only be called KARATE TIME. KARATE TIME happens when 10 or more thugs storm into a room, and then either Sonny Chiba or the samurai guy appears in the room. Suddenly, the camera zooms in, shakes violently, and people start screaming and moving around chaotically. Quite frankly, you have no idea of what the hell is going on, until you make out either a fist or a sword swinging around and somebody falls over. In some fights, time even slows down and speeds up for dramatic effect, resembling something out of The Matrix, except 30 years earlier. For a movie made in the 70's, this is actually pretty stylish, and very much ahead of it's time. Another plus is that those moments are when you can actually clearly see the action going on. Otherwise, the action scenes can be decently depicted by standing up out of your chair, flailing your fists about wildly as in a sissy fight, and screaming.

And that's about it. The movie follows this pattern to the end. All the scenes are awkwardly edited together, often jumping abruptly from one scene to the next. Who can blame them? It's not easy to smoothly go from plot to woman abuse to all-out chaos. Karate Warriors is highly entertaining. It practically has NO story. The action scenes are strangely cool despite not comprehending more than half of them. And, it's probably the only time you will ever laugh at somebody being abused, thanks to the care-free abusive attitude Japan in the 1970's. This is Karate Warriors: "chop-socky karate action with nary a cop in sight!"

The Legend of Sarmoti: Siegfried & Roy (1996)

The most insanely fast and incoherent plot I've ever seen in an animated movie

[23 April 2002]

Many people know Siegfried and Roy as a very odd couple. They are commonly known as magicians, but they prefer to be called entertainers. Thus, as entertainers, not magicians, what is so wrong with making an animated movie with main characters based on yourself?This is the only train of thought I can follow that leads me to understand why this movie was produced.

Siegfried and Roy are two muscular, noble, and valiant do-gooders who team up to fight the evil forces, called Titans, of their magical fantasy land. The plot features many, many snippets of old stories and Greek/Roman myths, crudely put together in a way that makes your head spin. For instance, Siegfried and Roy travel with an elfish companion named Rumplestiltskin, Loki is the main villain, and the king is Midas, and all of them follow their traditional mythological story, just in an awful way (except for Rumplestiltskin, he's there for comic relief, oddly enough). The plot moves through each of these stories so ridiculously fast that you quickly lose track of what's going on.

This movie is probably one to see if you're a fan of cheesy movies. The idea of Siegfried and Roy as warriors in a fantasy setting should be enough to get most people chuckling, but there's more. Siegfried has one of the cheesiest battle cries I've ever heard, and he uses it often. He will boast that "the magic is back!" before going into action. He uses it so often that it seems he would yell it to do ordinary things like getting on his carriage or opening a door. There are also some cheesy special effects they try to put into the movie, which is already skewered by generic character designs and animation. Fans of Siegfried and Roy will not be disappointed in knowing that they also have a white tiger companion in the movie, who is powerful and magical.

"Siegfried and Roy: Masters of the Impossible" really does ask you to do the impossible- follow the most rushed and incoherent plot starring the alter-egos of two odd entertainment icons. As a movie meant for kids, it's simply awful. Otherwise, you'll probably get some laughs from it, especially watching it with a group of friends. Just remember, the magic is back!