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mdholman
Reviews
Robo Vampire (1988)
Wow
Words can't put the sheer incompetence of this film into perspective. You can read the other posts for specifics, but trust me: this one hurts. I highly recommend dropping $2-3 to buy this on ebay. It will make for a very enjoyable evening of bad cinema.
Asylum of Terror (1998)
Painful to Endure
Aargh. Where to begin? I shall attempt to communicate in brief and unrelated fragments (as the movie frequently did): bad acting, a feeble attempt at special effects, horribly filmed, dialogue muffled (not that it would be worth hearing), and absolutely no plot whatsoever.
For an especially torturous evening, pair this classic with "Ax 'Em", another fine film from our friends at York Entertainment.
Tales from the Quadead Zone (1987)
Must be seen to be believed
After searching high and low I was finally able to procure a copy of this remarkable film. I have to say, it was worth the trouble. As bad movies go, this is the cream of the crop. Though not as wonderful as the splendidly terrible "Black Devil Doll From Hell", "Quadead" does manage to reach tremendous heights of amusement. Bad movie lovers everywhere should track down this film and marvel at its splendor.
Blood Freak (1972)
I can't properly articulate how bad this film is
While watching this film, I found myself utterly stunned. Picture it--a chain-smoking narrator who portrays a god-like role in the film, a killer turkey man, LOTS of late-sixties/early-seventies clothing, and a renegade biker named Herschel. Then, out of nowhere, the film tried to slap me with a baffling and misplaced moral at the end. Rent it, buy it, whatever it takes, but watch it. If you like bad movies, you will love this one.
Bride of Killer Nerd (1992)
Not as "good" as the first, but amusing
It's great to see Kunkel make a comeback. Even though this one can't live up to the standards of the first "Killer Nerd" (but what could live up to those lofty standards?), it is still amusing and a pleasant way to pass ninety minutes.
Killer Nerd (1991)
Inept, but hilarious
I find nothing so enjoyable as a "good" bad movie. Now, keep in mind the movie must meet several criteria in order to be a "good" bad movie: 1--It can't be a cash cow slapped together to make a few bucks (like Halloween 8 or Jason X). 2--At some point you have to say to yourself "were they really trying to make something meaningful/memorable and they failed so miserably that this film is now fodder for simple amusement?" 3--The special effects have to be not-so-special effects or special defects; such as poorly-executed jump-cuts during death scenes, models that are clearly plastic used in place of humans, and the use of rubber limbs. For these reasons and many more, I wholeheartedly recommend that bad movie lovers (and fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000) rent or purchase this classic film. Let's examine the criteria: 1--I don't think Riot Films was looking to make big bucks on this one (though they do throw Toby Radloff's name around quite frequently on the box). 2--Nerd, (pause for emphasis) what a stupid word. (Watch it and you'll see what I mean). 3--Watch it--'nuff said. My rating--9/10--my roommates from college and I ran around our apartment shouting "NERD NERD NERD" and "BLOOD RED WITH BRAINS" for days. Coincidentally, I purchased this film off eBay from one of the producers of the film, and he was a real nice guy.
The Nail Gun Massacre (1985)
Wow.
Apparently filmed with a budget comparable to a fifth-grader's allowance, this baby pulls out all the stops. We have "nails" that are clearly rubber stuck to "dead people" who are clearly breathing and a killer that miraculously puts on forty pounds and appears to change gender when "unmasked." Throw in many horribly cheesy comments from the killer and you have one amusing film-going experience. While the film is clearly not Shakespearean, it is highly amusing and the many incongruities/not-so-special effects in the film will keep you laughing throughout. I could think of worse ways to pass ninety minutes (namely a Barbara Streisand movie or anything with Mel Gibson in it). A strong 8/10 rating from me.