schwa88 Reviews

Kojak: Conspiracy of Fear (1973) Season 1, Episode 9

This is an odd one

[6/10 · 19 May 2024]

This is a strange episode and it reminds me of how realism was so poorly captured back in the seventies, maybe due to the expense of retakes but also due to poor writing and direction.

For example:

Notice how the audience watching the slide show reacts in such a homogenous way, everyone going "Ahh" or "ooh" in unison. Not realistic.

"In other words, buzz off?" That was not a very Kojaky thing to say, it makes him sound so weak. There was another similar comment later. And a lot of him showing his cards stupidly. So many implausible things. For example, the elevator scene: way too convenient!

Also, as an aside, one of the characters looks like a skinny Larry Hagman.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Sex Club (2005) Season 4, Episode 14

Not believable and awkward

[5/10 · 19 May 2024]

The direction is off in this episode. In the scene with Arquette's character and her daughter, they are positioned spoon-style, which looks very awkward for the context of the scene.

Also, the title seems gratuitous yet at the same time unimaginative. Such a bland title would never be allowed if it was not about sex.

That police station scene with the girls was ridiculous. No one believes that would ever happen. That is not the vibe of a police department squad room.

No lawyer would ever cite a statute for such an obvious law that is routinely invoked.

It's funny how they talk about 1989 as if it were yesterday, which sounds odd until you remember that this takes place in 2005, so at that time it kinda was yesterday.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Icarus (2011) Season 10, Episode 7

What a fun episode

[8/10 · 28 April 2024]

This was a great episode with lots of twists and turns and the usual red herrings. There's something kinda old-fashioned about the whole episode, like it's from another time period. It's like a '70s show dressed up in 2010 clothing. Pretty cool.

Cynthia Nixon is splendid, as usual, and Bobby's scene with the psychologist was amazing. Vince is an amazing actor. The finale scene does not disappoint!

I didn't know Sardi's was still in business, but I haven't been to the theatre district in a while.

How odd that they recycled the name Amanda Robbins to be used on SVU. What is the story behind that?

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Padre Sandunguero (2015) Season 16, Episode 12

Love Armand Assante but...

[8/10 · 3 March 2024]

Armand Assante is a wonderful actor in this episode! I didn't realize he was so talented. BUT....he is acting way more Italian than Cuban, unless he is trying to be like Al Pacino in Scarface. Who was also acting more Italian than Cuban.

Anyway, there are some issues with this episode. Amaro says "I haven't seen you since I was 15." Well, that's ridiculous because Amaro is what, about 30 years old? So if he hasn't seen him in basically half his life, he'd be eyeing every thing about him. He would be looking him up and down in a very slow methodical way. His memory would likely be very foggy and me might not even immediately recognize him.

Also, there are scenes here that make no sense. Why is he sending his daughter away from the dinner table? She didn't do anything wrong. She was eating. He's not going to let her finish her meal? Not realistic, sorry, unless they want to portray Amaro as a nasty ogre of a father, which he's not.

No way would a client and a lawyer fist bump in front of the jury after someone's favorable testimony. That absolutely would not happen.

Are they glossing over the fact that Dad just admitted to Son (a cop, by the way) that he lied on the stand? Seems that should have been highlighted.

Aida Turturro give a very good performance as Judge Catana, very natural, as does Danny Pino. While the direction and scripts of this show can be spotty, performances are usually top-notch.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Agent Provocateur (2015) Season 16, Episode 11

Lack of Realism Yet Chilling

[7/10 · 3 March 2024]

I'm sorry, but a human adult cannot fit into a suitcase unless bones are broken. It is totally implausible that this girl, no matter how petite is going to emerge physically unscathed as far as her physical skeletal system is concerned after being stuffed into a suitcase. In fact, I'm not even sure that you could stuff an eight-year-old in a suitcase.

Also, the music that was being played in the opening scene, sounding like it was a music video, turned out to be completely gratuitous. It was a very insensitive editing move, IMO.

In the jail scene, wouldn't the LMZ guy recognize Fin and Carisi from when they originally met? Fin especially did not look that different.

Why does LMZ guy look behind him before sticking his fingers in the cage that he's leaning against, when he's doing it to try to act cool and nonchalant?

The undercurrent of Trumpy-type star worship here is what makes this episode chilling, specifically the girl and the Patti Lupone character. For this reason, the show is ahead of its time.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Internal Affairs (2013) Season 15, Episode 4

This is the handsome man episode

[8/10 · 18 February 2024]

The actors playing West, Cassidy, and Tucker, all very appealing, three cuties in one episode, wow!

They should have telegraphed earlier the motive of West's partner for covering up for him, as for the first forty-five minutes it's laughable and irritating. The mind goes all over the map trying to figure this out, and concludes pretty much what the episode tells us, but a bit of subtle foreshadowing would have been nice.

Also, what year is this when all the cops are white? Not likely in the 21st century. The episode has the feel of a seventies Kojak episode, which altogether is not a bad thing, but I don't think that's what they were aiming for.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Assumptions (2019) Season 20, Episode 23

Wrong on many levels

[5/10 · 31 December 2023]

This episodes is bonkers in a lot of ways. One of the interesting parts of the Law & Order franchise is how the police often go down the wrong path at first, usually after who appears to be a logical suspect, and it later turns out to be a false lead. In this case it's two young kids seen running from a synagogue, one wearing what appears to be a MAGA hat. The kids turn out to be Jewish, with names like Ari Cohen or something similar. Here's the thing, tough. Jewish kids don't generally wear MAGA hats; that is the wrong demographic and is in essence conflating two different types of bias.

But even more bizarre about this story is that the rapist turns out to be the councilwoman's ex-husband. If this were actually the case, she would have known it immediately, and you could basically cut out the first half of the episode. A woman even years later is still going to recognize her husband's pheromones. The identity would be made immediately and we would not have gone down this road with the erroneous accusation against the boys.

Additional notes: Really weird closing statement from the defense lawyer. And the DA says "We assume" in his closing as if that's the job of the DA and the jury? No, no, no, that's not how it's done. Was the law consultant on vacation that week? Yikes.

Kojak: Dead Again (1976) Season 4, Episode 14

Unbelievable on many levels

[6/10 · 24 December 2023]

Kojak's behavior with this Brooke Adams character is so inappropriate. He takes her home in what looks to be a quasi-date. Wouldn't this be breaking one of the cardinal rules of the police force to keep it professional? Maybe that's how things were done in the seventies but this would certainly never fly today.

And her apartment was ridiculous, a temp worker living there? That had to be at least 1500 square feet. Nobody lives in New York like, that even back in the seventies. I am wondering if the set department was slacking on the job this episode as the outside neighborhood looks false too, more like it's a stage set than an actual street corner.

Also, hysterical blonde at the end just off the bus from the Midwest, another painful stereotype that seems to have run rampant in this era.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Promising Young Gentlemen (2022) Season 23, Episode 15

Not believable in the slightest

[6/10 · 24 December 2023]

First, casting on Carisi's mom, Beverly D'Angelo, was all wrong. She looks wonderful for her age, they actually looked like contemporaries, and she was way too polished.

What kind of club like that really sells alcohol to underage students? Wouldn't they be putting their venerable legacy at risk? And how is these kids are in charge of the club and there 24/7 like it's some kind of frat house? Where are the other members?

The fact that this club amongst boys was able to exist as long as it did, treating girls like this with a club anthem and all is also not believable. Out of 20 kids, not one of them would would rat them out? How could you possibly keep a cult going like this without somebody cracking? It's just beyond credibility.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Video Killed the Radio Star (2022) Season 23, Episode 14

Interestingly convoluted but please take out the message

[9/10 · 24 December 2023]

Really kind of bizarre convoluted stretch in the opening scene with Olivia and Rollins, where there's a suggestion made that Rollins is purposely putting herself in danger because she doesn't feel she deserves happiness with Carisi after her really terrible life that she supposedly had before, which I don't know about because I don't know what the history is, but that just seems like a large leap, that you're unhappy life that led you to not trust happiness with your new boyfriend could somehow lead her to try to sabotage that relationship by putting yourself in danger I don't get it makes no sense.

Also, very strange that that was the actual ending with the shooting. I thought for a moment, there would be a part two coming.

Police Woman: Incident Near a Black & White (1975) Season 2, Episode 15

Super unrealistic scene

[5/10 · 17 December 2023]

No way is it beleivable that this kid Bobby is a gang member. In the scene where he is telling his girlfriend (?) sister (?) about the shooting, they are both acting like naive, scared children. These people clearly do not run with gangs. There is a huge disconnect. They either needed to toughen them up in that scene or else make it clear earlier on that the kid is a neophyte or someone who accidentally got mixed up in gang activity.

This is an example of show runners not looking at the big picture in terms of characterization. I'm surprised this scene made it past final edits as one would think this is something that would certainly be cought.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Net Worth (2017) Season 18, Episode 14

I guess $300,000 a year is chicken feed

[8/10 · 26 November 2023]

This was one of the last good shows of the semi-old days. Super tightly edited, great interior shots. Story flowed really well.

However a major error. Benson says something like, "So they give this 26-year-old kid, who's making (slight sneer) $300,00 a year and they offer her a job making $5 million."

I get that people in the financial industry might feel $300,000 is chickenfeed, but a hardscrabble cop like Benson would no way speak so dismissively of that salary. Show was perfect until that moment.

Also $20 million to keep quiet came way to easily to Zoe. I don't think a visit from repentant Kate would make her change her mind so easily.

Kojak: Out of the Shadows (1976) Season 4, Episode 4

Not gonna forget this one

[9/10 · 19 November 2023]

The episode gets an A for that delicious hot summer day and night 70s ambiance and the woozy, laconic depiction of the mundanity of living in the most sad-sack decade of the century. The atmospherics are amazing. Frank and his olive green fan is classic. Glad it survived Kojak's bad temper.

But wow, is this a case study in how our social mores have changed? I can't imagine why these people weren't thrown out of the coffee shop 2 seconds after they came in. Were things really like that back then? They continue to serve these people?

The interrogation trope scene is another example of wow. No video back then so...

But gosh, every single scene is so over the top! The guy and his skittish behavior at the knife shop. Hello, red flag.

The killer is able to get the knife store owner on the phone? The employee actually gave him the number, seriously? Wakes him up from sleep in his pajamas and then actually set up a meeting?

And that ending, just so weird!

Nevertheless, super interesting dabble in a deep psychological sketch storyline.

Kojak: Life, Liberation and the Pursuit of Death (1975) Season 3, Episode 6

Omg so over the top!

[3/10 · 10 September 2023]

What in heck has happened to this show? It has become a farce! What TV executive acts like this? Like it's played for laughs, but no one's acting like it's funny.

Combine this wacko over the top behavior (not to mention she's dumb as a box of rocks) with the the blatantly sexist undertones and this whole plotline is absolutely cringewothy.

Also, note to Set Design: What kind of bed is this executive sleeping on? It looks like a twin bed with a nightstand is a headboard.

Oh god now comes the "I shoulda stayed a nice housewife with my rich husband" line that is supposed to be a learning point -> So sexist!

Other comments: The opening Dark Shadows-y type music did not seem to fit with the episode. There was no element of the occult.

What is the reason for dark-haired criminal guy taking the risk of sneaking into the apartment when he's expecting her to die of the pills anyway?

Weird endng with Kojak trying to hose down an overly enthusiastic Crocker a la "Patience, Grasshopper"

Oddly, in my area they followed the episode with an 800 mental health hotline message.

I give this 3 stars due to the Incredulity Entertainment Quotient, otherwise it would be a 1-star!

If These Knishes Could Talk: The Story of the NY Accent (2013)

Not what it appears

[5/10 · 2 July 2023]

This purports to be a "story" of the New York accent. As such, I expected it to be about the history of how the accent developed, and how it differed among the five boroughs, etc. Instead, it was just repetitive nostalgic bravado about how "real" the accent is, with a very strong quasi-political angle decrying the gentrification of neighborhoods, which really gets away from the alleged theme of the film. The concept is interesting but it goes over the same ground again and again without providing the viewer any insight into the origin of the accent and how it may have changed over the years, which it most definitely has. The film could have benefited from some strong editing and re-organization. As it is now, it might be better renamed and rebranded as more about the change of New York neighborhoods over time.

Kojak: Die Before They Wake (1974) Season 1, Episode 14

Great, but ...

[9/10 · 2 July 2023]

Classic episode with drugs, prostitution, etc., in all its grimy glory, but seriously, In what world can a complete stranger burst into someone's apartment and say, "Hey, I'm a friend of your druggie friend, can I come in?" And the person lets them in and the visitor says, "Hey, can I use your tools to shoot up? I have my own stuff, I just need your kit." And the accommodating apartment dweller says, "Sure, go right ahead in the bedroom, help yourself."

Who does that? In the 70s was that done? I am not sure but this is the second post-Gilligan's Island show I have scene that puts Tina Louise in a ridiculously crafted scene, the other one coming shortly after this particular show: a Dallas episode where she agrees to jump off a roof because a crook said to.

Kojak: Out of the Frying Pan... (1975) Season 3, Episode 7

Not drunken behavior

[6/10 · 12 March 2023]

This was a sad, poignant episode, and it seems the actor Eugene Roche often plays these types of characters. The episode shows a lot of sensitivity to the issues of alcoholism and the struggle people undergo. For that reason, I would say it is commendable, at least from a concept level. This period of time (mid-seventies) ushered in a flood of these types of stories, with fallible characters battling substance abuse.

However, the story falls down a bit in the latter half. A guy who walks out of a bar drunk as Sandy Beach was would not have the wherewithal to come up with the plan that he did with the blind man.

Kojak: Sweeter Than Life (1975) Season 3, Episode 3

Pretty graphic in parts.

[9/10 · 5 March 2023]

Well someone needs to explain to me why the therapy guy force-feeds Theo's nephew chocolate with orange juice. He's already throwing up; what is the purpose?

Writers messed up the terms here.. Kojak tells the kid he's going to be booked on petit larceny and then he'll be out on parole. Parole is a term for what convicted felons get after they've served their jail term and are now being watched after they re-assimilate. The phrase he should have used is "released on your own recognizance."

"He's done it for me?" This is what Kojak tells his sister about Sonny South. Was Kojak an addict before he became a cop? "He's done it for me" made it sound like it was recent.

Why do people in '70's TV shows always hang up phones without saying goodbye? It drives me nuts.

Neville Brand was an outstanding actor in this episode, playing the role with nuance and complexity. I couldn't stop watching him. However I don't get how he dies as it looked like he just got shot in the butt.

Kojak: My Brother, My Enemy (1975) Season 3, Episode 2

Young Stallone Episode!

[8/10 · 26 February 2023]

What is the picture on the back of Daly's jacket in the early scene on the roof? Looks like some type of madonna figure.

Lady painting nails is totally unbelievable, she's not watching what she's doing, multiple strokes per nail, that's not how it's done. Also later, there's a TV-style putting out of a cigarette.

Not sure the kids outside the dead boy's building would be so jocular, mugging for the camera. They'd probably feel pretty vulnerable at this point.

Very dramatic and sad ending. When Daly is on the roof and his eyes are darting about it's clear he is on guard and while "trigger happy" also very alert to sounds. I don't think he was a bad cop as Kojak says, just a different one.

Kojak: The Goodluck Bomber (1975) Season 2, Episode 21

Obligatory visit with wife and kid

[8/10 · 19 February 2023]

I swear there was another Kojak episode where they recreated the exact same scene where Kojak and crew head out to Long Island to check out a suspect, and the wife and kid are there being protective of their husband/father. I wonder if this is a stock scene that has appeared in many Kojak episodes? I would like to find out.

Anyway, my attention was rapt from the very opening scene, which does a sweeping aerial shot of a Manhattan street in all its gritty seventies glory.

Had a good laugh at Bomber Suspect's living room with the plastic covered furniture. My aunt's house was like that and I still to this day don't get why that trend wasn't viewed ironically.

The Facts of Life: The Sound of Silence (1982) Season 4, Episode 3

This has to be the most cringeworthy episode

[1/10 · 19 February 2023]

I can't believe how bad this show got as early as Season 4. How could anyone think this was a professional production? The acting, directing, and writing are all a complete train wreck! So awkward, with the production value of a high school play.

Part of the problem is the premise. Why are young teenagers acting like adults, making their own decisions about medical care, etc? Don't they have parents? This is so implausible and awkward! I don't want to give away any endings but Deus Ex Machina anyone??

And to think this show continued for another five seasons. What could possibly be the reason for it getting picked up again and again?

Kojak: Eighteen Hours of Fear (1974) Season 1, Episode 16

Here are my write-as I-watch comments

[7/10 · 1 January 2023]

That was supposed to be a New York apartment at the beginning? I think not. Nor later at the roommate's place, AGHH! If only we had that kind of space.

Also, she got a parking space outside? And had so much room in front of her for a quick exit? The parking situation in all the street scenes are absurd! They really needed more work with location experts for this.

Of course there's a seat right next to her at the bar. So much convenience in this episode!

Wait, there is NO WAY roommate girl could think she could run from killer buyer to a pay phone, with a ROTARY DIAL and dial 911 before he caught up with her across the room. That is crazytown.

Really funny how Kojak pronounces "plethora," like those who just learned it. I know cuz that was me also.

That was not the reaction I would have if I saw my car was being towed. It would not be "oh darn" eye roll, it would be hightail it downstairs to stop the tow truck driver before he got away.

Royal canadian mint two 20 dollar prints. What is the value?

Is that an early computer in the scene after the roommate is found dead? Looks like an old white Macintosh.

All right, I'll say the drive UP to the park looked realistic and in fact looks like an actual location shot. But the PARK SCENE ITSELF was so not, looked actually photoshopped.

So lechery bar guy is the one Kojak suspects? Hmm, I don't think we see Kojak fail often, what's this about?

Okay pretty cool ending I guess, but some of the scenes were hella unrealistic. Gotta love the seventies!

P. S. In the first scene with the killer buyer I thought for a moment it was a young Christopher Walken.

Kojak: Death Is Not a Passing Grade (1974) Season 1, Episode 13

Would have been a nine, but . . . .

[8/10 · 25 December 2022]

Wow, this is a great role for James Woods. He's really shining in this. Very specific choices.

When Kojak was hanging up his coat, somebody picked up his briefcase as if he was trying to steal it, but then gives it back to him and Kojak acts like that was the plan all along. What was that all about?

Someone made a comment that Kojak is making $20,000 a year. What was that like as a salary in 1974? They were making it sound like it was pretty high.

Note writer, Matthew Rapf is listed on the pawn sheet.

The guy behind the counter at the deli look like Cheech or Chong?

I thought the brother-in-law was clearly aware that Cas was threatening him and in was, in fact, parodying him, but apparently not.

In the last 15 minutes the character's name changed from Cas to Ken.

The girlfriend's house is so cool as a 70s TV set. Cool abstract painting on the wall.

These were my comments while watching but whoa wait a minute. "Don't make me go out with a lie?" Hand grasp at the end? What's going on? That was really weird and creepy. And not in keeping with the rest of the show at all. I have said in the past that the show seemed to be taking chances, but this is the wrong chance and a wrong decision. I was going to give a 9 but now I have to shave off a point.

Kojak: Last Rites for a Dead Priest (1974) Season 1, Episode 12

Lookalikes

[8/10 · 25 December 2022]

Whoa, how did that ba-fang-gu gesture of Crocker's get past the censors? And did anyone notice how much he looks like the young heist brother Clyde? In the beginning, before Crocker appeared on screen, I thought this was maybe the introduction of Crocker's character - thug turned cop.

Is it me, or did the priest actually change his voice, i.e., blow his cover after he got his pen when I was talking to the girl?

I didn't quite get the death of Clyde. He was praying fervently and then suddenly went unconscious. What exactly happened?

Still a good episode. It looks like the show is trying to take chances.

Forensic Files (1996–2011)

I go to sleep with the voice of Peter Thomas

[10/10 · 18 December 2022]

Yes, it is true; I do drift off to sleep with the voice of Peter Thomas playing on my TV in the background; however, sadly, the show plays at 2 am in my area, so it is only on Saturday nights that I am up late enough to tune to Forensic Files and keep it on after I turn off the light and hear narrator Peter Thomas's warm, soothing, seventies-kind of voice that reminds me of the crime drama TV shows of my childhood.

Forensic Files was on in the '90s-2000s, so it is like a neat time warp that he was cast twenty years past his voice.

I don't know if there will ever be a voice again like Peter Thomas. What a treat.