Fiercesome_Fool Reviews

Phantasm: Ravager (2016)

An absolute mess

[2/10 · 15 October 2023]

Let me be clear, I do not think this franchise is very good. You can look at my ratings for the movies. This one is easily the biggest pile of feces of the series. The classic example of making a sequel decades removed from the original, that rarely if ever works.

This carries on the story this mess of a franchise to only make it into an even bigger mess. The first two movies were pretty straight forward but as the series went on they got more weird and experimental. This one however seems like it was written by someone who was mentally ill. Don't even try to make sense what is going on and why. Other than that the movie is filled with horrific acting and special effects.

I'm not a fan of this series (though I do think the Tall Man is a cool character) but I say give the other movies a chance maybe you will like them unlike me. This steaming pile I with out a doubt say to avoid like the plague it is so bad.

Graduation Day (1981)

You will know who the killer is from the jump

[4/10 · 31 July 2023]

This movie is a slasher flick about a track team who are murdered by some mystery killer after a girl on that track team dies tragically after finishing a race. This is shortly before the senior graduation is happening hence the name of the movie. The main character is the dead girl's sister who comes to town to get answers.

Anyone who has seen their share of horror movies will be able to figure out the killer is quite easily. I kid you not I picked them out the moment I saw them like 5 minutes in. The casting choice was a large part of this.

The movie attempts to bring in misdirection on who the killer is with multiple characters but it doesn't work. Maybe in the early 80s when this came out it did. I wouldn't know, I wasn't born then but I have watched enough movies to know when directors are trying to trick the audience.

The biggest issue with this movie is how it is a bit of a mess structurally. The main character comes into the movie for the first act, disappears largely for the second act then comes back for the third act. Not to mention the third act is very sloppy. Very forgettable movie.

Vanishing on 7th Street (2010)

One of the most pointless movies I have ever seen

[3/10 · 4 June 2023]

Wow, this movie felt completely pointless. The movie is about survivors of a mass disappearance trying to survive. That is about it, nothing more complicated to the plot line. The movie does however try to make you stick around wondering why, how and what is behind this. Well I'll save you the trouble and say none of this gets answered at all.

This is also a movie where half way through I thought to myself what do these characters plan to accomplish? There is literally no hope to be had in the characters overcoming their plight. Therefore I concluded there was absolutely no reason to care what happens to them.

Movie is a bore, plot is thin, completely pointless movie with no satisfaction to be had. Avoid this.

Chappie (2015)

A total disappointment

[4/10 · 11 May 2023]

Let us go back to when the trailer came out for this movie. I was very excited for this film, it looked like it could be a great action drama. Well I watched it and I was very disappointed to say the least.

The biggest issue is the horrendous idea to have the Die Antwoord duo as main characters in the movie. These two are absolutely god awful in their acting and in fact are just being their trashy selves on screen. For me they were Jar Jar Binks levels of annoying.

The other issue is the plot. People are right with "Short Circuit" meets "RoboCop". However, most of the movie is the title character, Chappie, learning from the Die Antwoord on how to be a cringe gangster. The movie's plot is honestly childish but has blood and curse words so it is rated R.

Without getting into spoilers the way this movie treats AI is idiotic. This was another issue with the movie that made me really dislike it.

The only real positive I can say is the VFX are very good.

Scream VI (2023)

Scream has become a parody of itself

[4/10 · 6 May 2023]

I liked, didn't love, Scream V. I found it was a decent nod to the franchise not being made by Wes Craven. This one however is poop. One of the biggest issues that plagues this movie is the amount of pathos shoved into it. None of the other movies have this much whining, crying and moping about from its characters. That is not what these movies are here for.

Additionally, the characters in this movie are just plain annoying. I was wanting all of them to be killed off. This includes older characters from past movies.

This is legit the dumbest and most uninspired one yet. It is time for this franchise to just end.

Zeros and Ones (2021)

A sight to behold

[2/10 · 24 April 2023]

I saw that this had very poor ratings so I just had to watch it. Well the people are definitely right on this one. Watching this mess of a movie left me wondering how in the hell did this get made. An experienced director and experienced leading actor made a complete stinker. This movie is not funny bad, it is boring bad which is the absolute worst thing to be.

Ferrara filmed this movie in hideous fashion. It is a series of poorly lit, out of focus and shaky cam featuring Ethan Hawke as a soldier who talks with a gravely voice and enjoying long bouts of silence. I kid you not half way into the movie and I barely had a clue what the actual plot of this dribble was.

Maybe covid is partly to blame for this mess? The movie is filled with people wearing masks and using hand sanitizer to make sure you know there is a pandemic.

It is bad but I almost want to encourage people to watch this because it truly is surreal how this could have been made unironically.

The Final Wish (2018)

Contrived Junk

[2/10 · 19 April 2023]

This movie is pretty much your run of the mill modern horror movie that hits all the beats in the laziest possible fashion. I didn't go in expecting anything worth while and well I was still disappointed with what a dud this movie was. Tropes here, tropes there, tropes everywhere!

The movie is about a fresh graduate lawyer who is struggling to find work and has no money while living in Chicago. His father dies pulling him back to his small hometown. There he comes into possession of an ancient urn. Thus the plot revolves around this urn and the misfortune it brings.

Anyone who has watched a few modern horror movies this movie will be predictable as it gets. The main character is unlikable, all the other characters are unlikable. Melissa Bolona aka discount Megan Fox is absolutely atrocious in this movie with her acting. Like she is so bad I was shocked how she was cast despite the movie being poop. Everyone else is serviceable.

The ending is lame too. Avoid this turd.

House of 9 (2005)

Well they tried I suppose

[3/10 · 27 February 2023]

This is a movie about 9 strangers getting kidnapped by an unknown organization then locked in a house where they can't escape. Only one person is allowed to leave and thus begins the madness of people trying to survive and wanting to get out.

As many others have mentioned this film does remind me of the Cube, except less interesting. It also reminds me of the game series Danganronpa, though this came before Danganronpa. Danganronpa feels like a more fleshed out idea of this.

Unfortunately this movie is plagued by obnoxious characters that I just all wanted to die. The acting is meh the worst being Kelly Brook who plays the main character Lea. Brook despite being the main character has very little dialogue compared to other characters. Most of the movie you see her just whining and cowering as stuff happens. It really felt like they limited her dialogue because she was so weak compared to everyone else. Probably cast because of her looks.

The movie tries to have emotional weight at times but doesn't earn it because the movie feels like cheap schlock. Didn't much care for this one. Dennis Hopper is in this one and does a funny attempt at an Irish accent so there is that.

Smile (V) (2022)

Am I missing something here?

[3/10 · 21 February 2023]

Yet another crap horror movie that somehow made a lot of money. This is one of those movies I watched which I spent more time laughing at rather than being creeped out by. This movie is hilariously awful and idiotic.

Firstly, let me start by saying the lead character Rose Cotter played by Sosie Bacon, is extremely annoying to watch. She is a whiny and pathetic wreck of a character than I wanted to just get killed off rather than overcome her challenges. Most of the actors in this movie are laughable in their performances.

Next, one thing I absolutely despise in movies is characters that are experiencing not being able to tell reality from dreams or hallucinations. This movie is filled with that which makes it even more annoying to watch.

Lastly, the premise of this hilariously awful movie feels like someone saw those stupid smile filters and thought to make a movie because of that. The deaths and gore in this movie comes across as absolutely laughable.

The only positive from this movie is that it looks decent with the lighting and color palette.

While it is laughable it isn't a great so bad its good movie so skip this crap.

Open Graves (2009)

Open the trash and throw this movie in it

[3/10 · 18 February 2023]

This movie is bad. To sum it up in the simplest of terms this movie is a crappy Final Destination rip off. The basic premise is two surfer bros are on vacation in Spain. One of them played by Mike Vogel finds some crappy souvenirs shop and is given an old board game for free called Mamba. So Vogel, his surfer bro, three chicks and two other buffoons play the game.

Turns out this game Mamba is actually cursed and people who play it will die. Thus the plot of the movie plays out in a similar fashion to Final Destination where an unseen force kills off characters. Only unlike Final Destination the kills are predictable and boring. In fact this whole movie is predictable. The only amusement that one might get from this movie is the laughably bad cgi. Also most of the actors in this movie are bad outside of Vogel, Dushku and Rains who are fine.

Don't waste your time.

M3GAN (2022)

Stupid movie made for stupid people

[4/10 · 29 January 2023]

We have the classic storyline of an AI going rogue and killing people. Like good old terminator except this time with a child's doll.

The movie's protagonist is Gemma a toy designer that is specialized in robotics. She originally is tasked with making a new Furby knock off but has been working on Megan, a child size doll with advanced AI. This doll she makes becomes best buds with her niece whom recently lost her parents in a car crash.

I am going to be real honest, this movie pissed me off much like the Child's Play remake did. A toymaker engineers a toy with specs allowing for physical strength greater than that of an average adult. That makes ABSOLUTELY NO EFFING SENSE. Sorry but I just couldn't get over that while watching this movie. Not to mention how a small team of 3 made very sophisticated AI and then shoved it into a child's toy.

I just can't with this movie. Acting is fine outside the Asian boss character who is laughably bad. Boring, stupid movie.

Glass Onion (2022)

The Netflix factor

[4/10 · 1 January 2023]

I love the whodunit stuff. I quite enjoyed the first Knives Out. Rian Johnson actually did something good to follow up his disaster Star Wars movie. This movie however is a step down from the first film. It feels cheap and extra corny.

In the first film Daniel Craig's character is the really eccentric one while the rest of the cast are a bit kooky but reasonable as they were all money hungry jerks. This movie is filled with a bunch of eccentric characters making Craig's character feel like an after thought.

Also the movie just feels like a streaming movie. The original released in theaters and had that wonderful cinematic feel. Nicely shot. This just feels cheap.

This wasn't horrible but a big resounding "meh." Not something I would care to watch again. Netflix is largely filled with garbage these days. However even back in the golden age of the platform 90% of their movies were bad and that has carried through to the present.

Samaritan (I) (2022)

Alright movie

[5/10 · 27 August 2022]

Another superhero movie for the pile. No it is not another Marvel corporate joke fest but still nothing amazing. The movie revolves around a little boy, Sam, who is a fanboy of Samaritan, a superhero that used to exist. It is thought he died in a battle with his evil brother, Nemesis, who also had powers. Sam believes Samaritan is still alive and spends much of his free time trying to find him.

The antagonist of the film is Cyrus a gang leader and fanboy of Nemesis. His character looks and has plans oddly similar to Bane in the Dark Knight Rises movie.

The movie is alright. The boy who plays Sam does a good job and Stallone is good too. Everyone else fine. There is a twist in the movie that anyone who has watched enough movies will figure out very early on. The biggest issues is the uneven pacing through out and the third act. The third act of this film feels like a rushed mess.

Nothing pissed me off about this movie but it is a whatever movie.

The Presidio (1988)

A bit different than expected

[6/10 · 25 August 2022]

The main plot of this movie is a detective (Mark Harmon) working with his old military police commanding officer (Sean Connery) to figure out why another mp was murdered on the Presidio military base.

Well this is a heavily character driven film. So much so that the main plot line feels secondary. There is absolutely zero tension created between the protagonists and the and the antagonist. In fact the antagonist is only in the beginning and the end of the movie. Much of the film is focused on the uneasy relationship between Harmon and Connery; romance between Harmon and Connery's daughter (Meg Ryan); father/daughter issues between Connery and Ryan; the military relationship between Connery and his retired military buddy (Jack Warden). So if you're expecting some crazy action thriller this is not that. It is all about character relationships with a crime plot in the background.

The Terminal List (2022– )

Revenge plot with head trauma

[8/10 · 19 August 2022]

The plot of this series is the classic highly trained military guy's family is killed so he now has nothing to lose and goes on a revenge tour. Then you add in him having mental health issues from certain things. Not an original story but well done series, very similar story to Netflix's Punisher season one but better. Chris Pratt does well here along with the rest of the cast. Show starts slow with the first two episodes but gets rolling.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

This franchise jumped the shark

[3/10 · 23 July 2022]

Watch this movie and watch the original classic Jurassic Park. The contrast is staggering on how stupid and Hollywood these movies have become. It feels like they are trying to capture the same stupidity of the Fast & the Furious franchise's latest entries. The movie has high production value and decent acting but like many Hollywood turds the script is just unbelievably stupid. I absolutely hated Fallen Kingdom for that very reason and this movie is no different. Watch the movie to see how stupid it is for yourself if you don't believe me.

Grabbers (2012)

Discount Edgar Wright film

[5/10 · 18 July 2022]

Maybe it is just because it is British humor but this movie feels like a discount version of one of the Edgar Wright films featuring Simon Peg. It is an okay movie with a few funny bits but not a movie I would want to willingly watch again.

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight (2020)

Best part is the music

[4/10 · 5 July 2022]

This movie is decently shot and acted. The editing is somewhat annoying with the hanging and dragged out moments, you will understand if you watch the movie. The biggest issue however is the script. This movie is filled with stupidity and convenience like no other. Slasher flicks are never really genius pieces of writing but this movie is very bad in that regard so much so I would never want to watch it again. The gore hounds might like this as it does have some decent gore but meh.

My favorite part of this movie was the score which is pleasant.

Morbius (2022)

The memes tell it all

[4/10 · 28 June 2022]

This movie feels like an early 2000s superhero movie. I am talking Catwoman, Daredevil, Elektra, etc. The movie is simply bad and not funny bad either, it is boring bad. If you watch the trailers and the movie you will notice things in the trailers were not in the movie. Sony clearly changed aspects of the film for the final cut. This leads to one of the biggest issues in the movie.

The scene to scene editing is terrible. This movie feels like there are parts missing between scene transitions. It is a simple movie to follow but it feels very disjointed. Then you have the piss poor writing where things just happen to the benefit of the characters making a series of coincidences that feel absurd.

There are some after credits scenes that show Sony is just trying to milk this Marvel stuff for all its worth. An ending scene that makes absolutely no sense based upon what happened in the movie.

Don't bother watching this is my advice.

Vicious Fun (2020)

Simple indie 80s throwback horror comedy

[7/10 · 15 June 2022]

This movie is just fun like the title says. Movie is about a simp named Joel played by Evan Marsh. Simp you ask? Well he has a crush on his room mate who is clearly not into him anymore than a friend. This simping of his gets him into trouble as he ends up part of a serial killers anonymous meeting by accident. Lucky for him someone is there to help.

The movie has the gore for the gore hounds and it has some decent comedy bits. Evan Marsh I found to be quite funny. It was his reactions which reminded me of Bryan Cranston as Hal in Malcom in the Middle. Amber Goldfarb who plays Carrie plays a good badass. Ari Millen as Bob did a good job as well.

This movie despite the subject matter will leave you smiling at the end. I actually hope for a sequel to this as there is certainly room for one. You will understand if you watch the movie.

Summer of 84 (2018)

80s teenage horror adventure

[6/10 · 12 June 2022]

Yet another movie that hopped on the Stranger Things train. Four boys who live in the same neighborhood go on adventure to figure out if their cop neighbor is the serial killer terrorizing the town. Movie is pretty well done, the four actors who play the boys do a good job and the movie is well paced.

The ending of this movie is definitely not Hollywood. Honestly it felt mean spirited and a rotten way to end the film. Makes me not want to watch an otherwise pretty good movie again.

Tales from the Darkside: Djinn, No Chaser (1985) Season 1, Episode 10

Just awful

[3/10 · 8 June 2022]

This story is whacky nonsense and not in a good way. I legit was in wonder what the hell was going on from beginning to end. The dialogue is very weird, you have to watch to understand. Something is just off about it, not sure what. The ending is incredibly lame and not funny either. Just a bad and campy cheese fest with no good pay off. Worst episode of season 1 for sure.

Creepshow (2019– )

A certain HBO horror anthology reigns supreme

[5/10 · 5 June 2022]

The two Creepshow movies from the 80s are good horror anthologies. This show however is not the level of those. This show has some good stories but most of them are meh or just bad. It feels like a show written for children that they then added some gore and a few bad words in to.

The production value of the show is noticeably lacking. It looks and feels cheap. You will notice in some episodes that when a part of the story that would require some special effects they will cut to a comic panel and voice over in a clear attempt to save money. The special effects that are present are quite poor and I wonder if they purposefully wanted it that way but probably not. Puppets are clearly puppets and rubber monster suits are clearly monster suits.

Like a certain HBO horror series there is a host to the show, called the Creep. In the first season they would show a live action Creep with poorly done puppet head that pales in comparison to the HBO series character. Seasons 2 and 3 they dropped using the puppet probably for budget reasons. They switched to using awful animation that looks like a 12 year old drew it.

The acting ranges from mediocre to bad while pretty much all being campy. Most of the actors are probably people you have never seen before which isn't an issue but they are not strong actors. The few actors who you might recognize even do a poor job.

Not very good.

Creepshow: Stranger Sings/Meter Reader (2021) Season 3, Episode 4

Easily the worst episode of the series

[3/10 · 5 June 2022]

This series has some bad stories but "Stranger Sings" takes the cake for being the worst. It is unfathomably idiotic to the point you just can't believe it was even made. A doctor meets a woman at a coffee shop, he walks her home. The woman appears to sing putting the doctor in a trance getting him to come into the house. He finds the corpse of some man while in the house. He attempts to leave when he runs into the woman and her roommate who turns out to be a siren and was really the one singing.

Here is where it gets stupid. The siren and the coffee woman want to switch voice boxes so the siren can be mortal and not have to eat men while the coffee woman can be a siren to get any man she wants. This doctor is a gynecologist, not a surgeon he even says so.

They apparently stalked him specifically to do the surgery. So the question is why the heck did they not get a surgeon? It is established that the siren can get any man to do anything but they pick a gynecologist. Next issue is they say that in order to make sure he doesn't run away during the surgery that only one person will be put under at a time.

This makes no sense at all. The siren is a threat not only the singing which can control him but is strong enough to lift him by the neck with one arm. The coffee woman however is just a chubby regular woman who is zero threat. She doesn't even have a gun to threaten him.

The siren is put under first and he takes out her voice box. At this point he could throw the thing on the ground and stomp it to mush as the chubby coffee woman can't do anything to stop him. Not to mention the idea of them being under one at a time makes zero sense.

The doctor takes the voice box out of the siren leaving a sizeable hole in her neck. So he wakes her up with the hole in her neck and then puts coffee woman under? Once again why can't he run? The siren's voice box is removed and thus her power not to mention the gapping hole in her neck.

The story ends in a silly fashion too. Oh and the acting was corny to go along with this idiotic story.

As for the second story, there isn't much to say. It is the pandemic meets the exorcist with a bunch of boring exposition. Feels like a bit out of some crappy Hollywood flick. Completely forgettable.

I felt compelled to write this review because I found this episode of Creepshow so bad.

Memory (I) (2022)

Your run of the mill Liam Neeson movie

[4/10 · 27 May 2022]

Ever since Taken Liam Neeson has done these old man badass movies. Some worse than others, this one definitely one of the worse. Tell me if you haven't heard this before, experienced assassin has done their job for years but then gets a job to kill a kid so they decide to disobey and kill the people who paid for the hit. I suppose the unique part of the movie is the fact that Liam Neeson's assassin character is suffering from Alzheimer's, hence the title of the movie.

The problem with this movie is the script sucks and is filled with uninspired writing we have seen time and time again. Boring movie that is extremely passable.