smellyville90 Reviews

Obsessed (2009)

lol...

[1/10 · 5 April 2014]

The title of this review about sums it up. 'Obsessed' is one of those movies that leaves you speechless in the worst way possible. I can only think of one other film that had the same effect on me, and it was Glitter. So yeah, that's saying a lot.

The worst thing about this movie is that Idris Elba is in it. I mean wtf? And Ali Larter? How did they even think this pos script was worth their time? How did anyone think this pos script was worth their time? It truly boggles the mind.

The script is so dull and simultaneously far-fetched. Black man strikes it lucky. Perfect house, perfect son, completely overbearing and distrusting wife in Beyonce Knowles, high-flying career. A Bentley! Amazing. Then hot, leggy white blonde gets a job as a temp and takes a liking to successful black man. Black man don't want no problems, turns her down, repeatedly. White girl goes from seductive and charming to complete psycho with absolutely no motive, nor rhyme or reason. Just, "surprise! I am utterly deranged!". We find out nothing about why this woman is the way she is, or why she becomes obsessed with our protagonist. Does she have an interesting past that is hinted at or revealed? No. Does she actually have an affair with the guy but is scorned by him? No. Nothing. Who cares? If anything I sympathize with her character because it is true, their marriage is a complete sham it seems, what with the wife having absolutely zero trust in her husband, how do they even love each other with that kind of relationship? The kind that calls for him to fire every female co-worker that comes to call and where he would feel like he was jeopardizing his marriage by going to a game with his buddy? Shock bloody horror right?

The complete ridiculousness of the movie is polished off with a terrible soundtrack where we are bombarded with some modern popular song every other minute to distract us from the misery that is this movie and the plights of the characters that we have absolutely no investment in. I guess the makers of this film expected to sell tickets by appealing to Beyonce fans? But she doesn't even appear much in this film until the end and her acting is dreadful? Oh I give up. We all know this is a terrible movie. I just wanted to chime my opinion in amongst the slew of other 1 star ratings on here because I just got done finishing watching this against my will and needed to vent my frustration somehow.

0/10, but 1/10 because 0 is unavailable. I sound angry but really I laughed my way through this movie. It's so bad that it's just bad, but provides occasional comic relief if you like satire. And Obsessed is basically a parody of itself.

2 Guns (2013)

Entertaining and action packed buddy cop movie.

[8/10 · 5 September 2013]

*Contains some spoilers*

This isn't the most amazing movie you will ever see but saying that it is thoroughly entertaining and worth a watch at least once. Denzel and Mark have great on-screen chemistry and deliver a lot of laughs. I thought their dynamic was very good, and carried the film really well. Can't imagine this would have been as successful with a different duo.

The premise is your basic two agents - one a DEA and the other military - double- cross each other, robbing a bank for $3 million that belongs to a Mexican drug lord, and get caught up in an unexpected conspiracy where the CIA is accepting a cut of their profits from them in exchange for continued business. What ensues is a high paced action, comedy and drama adventure while they evade their respective authorities who all want them dead. There are a few twists and turns but the story is not that complex and is not the strong point of the film. So if you're expecting something deeply thought provoking and convoluted you'd be mistaken in thinking you'll find it here.

The direction is superb and the overall style of the movie is slick. There are more than a few thrilling moments and some great gun fights and car chases that had me smiling and feeling excited. All of the performances from supporting cast were good too.

All in all fans of Denzel and Mark will be pleased with this movie. Don't have high hopes, just go in, sit back and enjoy the ride. A good flick for a Friday night with a bunch of mates.

Oblivion (I) (2013)

An excellent homage to the sci-fi greats

[8/10 · 21 July 2013]

I like many other reviewers here truly recommend viewing this film with a clean slate. That is really how all movies should be viewed anyway, if this were a perfect world. If anyone happens to be reading this who has not yet seen the movie, just stop reading reviews and go watch it.

One thing I notice is that people are complaining that this is a 'rip off' of previous sci-fi films and that should be a bad thing. I disagree. Leaving the theatre I had the distinct impression that the director wanted to weave together a slew of creative sci-fi themes and into one standalone film, and I think he did a fantastic job. It is an excellent homage to the great sci-fi movies that have come before it and I think the mistake is in thinking that this movie is trying to be one of them. It isn't. I tire of the critics who yelp at every movie that doesn't present an original idea as though originality is the only key to successful film making. I also tire of the Tom Cruise critics, who seem to grasp at any opportunity to discredit the man, despite the fact that he *is* a great actor who has made some very good movie choices over the past decade.

In my opinion, a good movie is one that makes you think and affects you in some positive way long after viewing it. While Oblivion is a first rate entertainment movie - with it's stunning visuals and hauntingly beautiful soundtrack that shines throughout - it is also a dissection of humanity. There are clear religious elements to this movie as well, which I found surprising (Adam and Eve: "another day in paradise"). While the ideas presented here seem very familiar to avid sci-fi fans (Hello Moon and Matrix!), Oblivion utilizes these themes to convey a message about the enduring human spirit. A message that is worth repeating in cinema. Oblivion is also a character piece rather than a strictly 'humans vs aliens' piece and while Tom Cruise does not pull out any major stops here, his acting is solid, and you warm to his character by the end of the film. Morgan Freeman is just Morgan Freeman. And there's nothing wrong with that, because the dude is awesome. I think a special mention should go to Andrea Riseborough here. Her acting was also solid throughout and I feel her achievements are being overlooked.

More than anything, I feel that the soundtrack to Oblivion is what sold it to me. The film is bathed in a beautiful musical score and the theme especially is just fantastic. It would be a crying shame for Oblivion to not be nominated for best original score as this is where it truly triumphs. The music is atmospheric and has an ethereal quality to it.

Altogether, a beautiful piece of cinema that is a feast for the eyes, ears and soul. The only thing I can say that I wish was explained more in this movie would be the villain, as their motives in the final segment of this movie makes little sense. However, enjoy it for what it is and don't cry for what it is not. I give this a 8/10 which is quite high, but I feel it deserves a high rating as this is a high quality film. Don't miss it.

Spring Breakers (2012)

Are you not entertained?

[8/10 · 10 July 2013]

I have to say, that watching this movie was a total spur of the moment decision on my part and I walked into this completely unaware of what I was getting into. While watching it, I felt my senses were assaulted, but there was more to it than what I was able to discern viscerally. Therein lies the greatness of this movie. It makes you think about what images are being thrown at you and why. The image is obviously that of what the youth of our age are sold as 'the good life': money, drugs, sex and partying. This is the American Dream. This movie follows 4 girls who do despicable acts, who behave with such depravity and who are shallow to the core, that watching this can be painful at times. But that is the whole point and people who walk out of this feeling as though they have had their time robbed of them or are too disgusted by what they see are missing the point. I am not an elitist movie critic in no sense of the word either, but I know a shock movie when I see one.

I have to say that visually this movie is beautiful (and no, I am not referencing the nudity here, ha-ha). It is a dark, dreamy, neon- nightmare. I give credit to the movie for this because it is candy for the eyes. Production wise this movie is solid, as is the direction. You feel as if you are in a dream, with it's poignant use of slow motion, and I suppose that is the effect they were looking to achieve. In this aspect they succeeded with flying colours - literally. There's also a beautifully crafted scene during their robbery of a restaurant that features one of the girls rolling the car around the building, catching glimpses of what they were doing inside. A very good piece of cinematography.

The cast were great too. I can't really say too much for the female cast as they did all act well in their respective roles. James Franco on the other hand really stood out and delivered a superb performance in what I would say is one of his more challenging roles, because the character himself is just so unlikable and unlike anyone he has portrayed before. He definitely made this movie, and without him in it it would seem to be missing a magic ingredient. Time and again Franco proves his worth as one of the great actors of his generation. He obviously knew that this movie's worth exceeded the majority of our expectations.

It seems the point of this film is lost upon most, which is a shame, though I can understand why. On the surface this appears to be a shallow and uninspiring piece of crap theatre with no motive beyond showing us some tits and ass. It is so much more. I love movies that make me think, even if they are at the time disturbing to watch. Well, this is what we are supposed to enjoy watching, after all. This is what our media, our 'culture', our idols depict as the epitome of what constitutes the good life. We are told to live our youth to the full. Is this not what they do throughout the movie? Are you not entertained? No?

Isn't that just it though? The truth hurts. This is the truth of what our youth aspire to. Sad, ain't it. Maybe I should give this a 1 star rating. I'm sure that's what the director would want me to do.

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003)

This movie is everything that could have been bad about the original.

[1/10 · 25 June 2013]

As a fan of Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde's predecessor, I avoided watching this sequel until today, and for good reason it seems. The rumours (and reviews) are true. This is an awful sequel to what was an otherwise clever and cute movie that recognised it's flaws but made light of them. This movie fails to do that, and instead ends up becoming what the first film tried to avoid: a shallow story following the unbelievable events of a caricature of a character. People who have not watched Legally Blonde 1 will not be aware of this contrast and so might view this movie differently, which seems to explain why the majority of good reviews here come from these exact same people.

LB2 follows Elle Woods (Reese Withersproon), a Harvard Law graduate who is fired from her position in a prestigious Law Firm for trying to champion animal rights, after discovering that her dog Bruiser's mother is being used as a test subject in a cosmetics company. In order to have her dog's mum attend her wedding to Emmett (Luke Wilson), she heads to Washington D.C and joins the team of Congresswoman Victoria Rudd (Sally Field) to learn the ins and outs of Washington politics and to pass her 'Bruisers Bill' through congress that would see an end to the legal status of animal testing.

This movie just utterly fails to capture the audience's hearts with it's preachy message, lacklustre humour and unrelatable characters who we once used to love. Gone is the Elle Woods who learned to overcome prejudice and grew into a strong-willed, self-assured, smart woman. Instead, Elle is a vapid, loudmouthed airhead who still lets people's impressions of her get her down. I thought that she would be a seasoned pro when it came to this now, but apparently she only learned how to overcome bad remarks within the University framework and nowhere beyond that. The character of Elle is a shadow of her former glory and loses that 'heart' that she had in the first film. Now all she cares about is getting a dog to attend her wedding? And this is important, how? When she first trawls into the investigators office with a proposition to find her, I was honestly left scratching my head wondering, "why?". But no. The whole film centres on her apparently gay dog Bruiser and his mum. While the idea of enrolling at university to reclaim a lost love seems unbelievable in itself, the way they executed her motives in the first film made it seem so. This time round it's just too far. Some characters from the first movie make an appearance; Emmett, who didn't even need to be in this film as he is just useless here, and her beautician friend who took a downgrade from ditsy to nearly mentally defunct for whatever reason. All of them lose their appeal and whatever relatability they had.

I could have suffered through this movie if it even tried to be clever and funny but instead all we get is shallow cheap jokes and dog humour. Oh, and cheer leading in front of congress. I'm serious. I felt insulted by watching this and almost guilty that I was a fan of LB1. Was this really the character I loved and thought was endearing from the first installment? Oh my, what a fool I was. The script is severely lacking in originality and cleverness, the overall message is unnecessarily preachy and vapid, and the characters are lame. A lot of wasted opportunities with a good cast including Sally Fields and Bob Newhart.

I wish I had never watched this sequel because it has now rubbed the shine off the original for me. This is just a sad, sad attempt to milk the cash cow and in doing so the creators of this film have milked everything that made the first film good and turned it sour and unpalatable. I'd give this a zero out of 10 if I could.