olspazzy Reviews

After Last Season (2009)

Appallingly Awful

[1/10 · 8 February 2010]

Make no mistake, this is not the type of film that is so bad it's funny. This is the type of film that is so bad you will stare with your mouth agape and your eyes wide open because you are in absolute disbelief that this "film" received a proper release and distribution, if only to four theaters.

There is no discernible plot beyond "these are medical students and there was a murder", there is very little connection, if any, between the many poorly shot scenes, the editing is absolutely atrocious, the acting is almost non-existent, the "special" effects and 3D graphics might have been slightly impressive three decades ago, the sound quality is unbelievably horrendous, the set decoration is pathetic, the cinematography can only serve as examples of what not to do, and even the opening titles seem like a joke.

So is this movie for real? Judging by the comments of the cast and crew, it seems sadly so.

After Last Season is, by far, the worst legitimate movie I have ever suffered through, and that is coming from someone who's made a hobby of watching terrible cinema (and with all sincerity, I was making more enjoyable films on VHS when I was 12 years old).

Watch this film, if only for the same reason you'd watch a car crash: morbid curiosity.

How to Make a Monster (2001 TV Movie)

Bottom 30 Worst Scripts Ever

[1/10 · 11 July 2003]

The message of this movie is to destroy anyone in the way of your greed. The main character is unclear throughout (are the programmers the most important in the script? Is it the boss? Maybe the intern? All of them??), then suddenly at the end you find out the whole story is about only one of them.

Worse yet, that character goes from a GOOD character in the start of the film, to totally pathetic. A reverse transformation.

Despite the terrible acting, laughable story concept, and disgusting message of the writer's script, somehow, unbelievably, the plot, dialogue, and character development manage to suck even more than everything else in this downright pitiful made-for-TV trash.

Well, then again, if you enjoy movies that completely cliche the business industry and utterly skewer the truth of video game development, then hey, you're in for a joyride of totally misinformed, brainless delight!

But for the logical-thinkers, don't waste your time; keep flipping through the other HBO channels and choose something that would get at least a 2/10 rating; or better yet, just turn off the TV.

Personally, I find it horrifying that 37 people gave this movie a perfect score.

One Hour Photo (2002)

Interesting plot, poor character development

[7/10 · 17 September 2002]

While I enjoyed this movie (despite it's slow pace), the main character, Sey the Photo Guy (Robin Williams), was underdeveloped. His actions were not explained and the writer/director never brought his audience close enough to Sey's mindset for us to really understand him. With more depth and history, the movie would have held a lot more interest and the audience would have left feeling a little more satisfied.