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Reviews
Cellphone (2024)
An HONEST review. Only stars are for cinematography and main male actor.
I started watching this one night while working on a project, had no interest, but ended up selecting it again a couple weeks later forgetting I had already attempted it.
The story is far below lacking, the main female character is terribly miscast, but the main male character is pretty good (Not the fiance-the neighbor). Considering the script, he made it work for his role. I looked him up to see if he had something to do with creating the movie, as he was the only character that seemed comfortable, but no. He's only in one other movie with a "rating", which also seems to be fake-rated by people who worked on the movie.
For the female character though - without a spoiler, I will say there is a scene that is meant to be scary - she is driving - but her unfortunate acting paired with the absurd attempt at jump-scare, did give me the the biggest laugh of the film.
The choice of Malcom McDowell was a win-lose situation. He's an icon for his genre, but having his "role" where you could only show his image on screen for a moment, then the rest is obviously a voice recording just took it from low-budget horror to cheap, spent-the-only-budget-on-this horror.
Production - surprisingly very good cinematography. I say surprisingly because I don't think many will invest the time in watching the whole movie, but if they do, that's the one glaringly obvious imbalance.
Cinematography/photography production far outweighs the story/majority of acting. The location, set, aerials, very well done. If the same person created the script as they did everything else-stick to everything else-and vice versa. They either personally know the writer, or the writer got lucky. If they know their worth, that explains the budget remaining for the lead actress. Worth it.
Props, rarely would I bring this up, but I'm pretty sure the phone used throughout the movie is a wallet cover and piece of green paper. It would have been better if they acknowledge the lead females poor acting and called the phone a "Crapple". At least embrace it.
Either way. Hopefully the main male character has an opportunity for another movie - I'd be interested in seeing if he has range - but this movie didn't give me enough to want watch his other movie.
My recommendation is to watch it if you personally know someone affiliated with making it, watch clips of it without actors or audio if you're searching for a undiscovered gem of a cinematography team, otherwise, maybe listen to it to fall asleep?
Blood Vessel (2019)
I actually really liked this......BUT
I really liked the storyline, characters, the atmosphere, the one thing I can prepared to say was the special effects/makeup was the one thing that let me down. It just seemed a little amateur for what could have been a much higher rated movie!
Plot was good, characters were random, but effective. I think with big budget and better effects, it would have been much more popular!
Edit: I just found out the director, Justin Dix has been in the special effects makeup game for a long time.... I don't know how to feel about that. I like his writing and directing though! More of just that! Going to check out Crawlspace next.
Squirrel (2022)
Just..... wow
I appreciate they have this labeled as comedy, I would be seriously concerned if they weren't laughing at themselves after this.
The opening scene alone is so ridiculous. I thought perhaps it was some sort of skit opening where they reveal it was an actual cos-play set-up. From people doing a reenactment of a war in the most obviously bad ways, to the score.... I have to believe this is a joke. No one would do this under any other circumstances. They literally speak out loud, but the one guy steps on a twig and someone 100 yards away catches it? The guy "appearing" out of nowhere and taking the barrel of the gun... like, it's wide open woods. Where could he have snuck up from?
Speaking of, if the actors were paid anything more than an Olive Garden gift card - to share - they were paid too much.
Wintertide (2023)
Would have been great if not for lead
Honestly, this is a great storyline, ambience, execution; but I cannot figure out why they cast the lead. Every other actor in the movie is good, but she's the least convincing in the role they have her in. Image, skill, behavior - she isn't right for any of it.
The soundtrack for this is also impressive. The tone, intensity, timing - not always easy to accomplish with these types of atmospheric scenes.
I recommended this to a friend who had almost identical feedback about the lead. Not that they should have used someone attractive just for the cliche of it; I can understand not going that direction. The dialogue seems stubbed by her as well.
It's a shame. If they had used a better actress this would have the potential of being a sleeper hit.
Death Blow (2023)
WTF was that mess?
Did they find actors who would work for Olive Garden coupons? Probably. Was one of the conditions for payment that they had to leave a more than 1-star rating? Definitely.
I don't know if this movie is supposed to be comedy, action, or thriller, but it's not any of those. The main character HAS to be a "writer" or "director" because he fits none of the character's intentions. I don't know what he's trying to prove but, nope.
I watched this because I saw it was filmed in Tampa so I wanted to see if I recognized any of the filming locations, but the whole thing was filmed inside of what must have been a 1000SF house.
Watch it if you were in it, I guess? Might be funny if you watch with no audio and just their acting. Make a game of it, and come up with the script as you go. It'll be better than the original.