joebot69 Reviews

VR Fighter (2021)

i mean its alright

[6/10 · 2 November 2022]

If you go through the movies i have rated in the past, then you would know that this is a very big step in the right direction. Better action, better cgi, better acting, and a better story. That being said, i mean it wasnt the greatest movie id ever seen.

I liked the part where the wife brought in a bomb like it was someones birthday cake. That was kinda funny.

The thing i didnt really understand was when he was in VR. What was the reason for him to stay in VR after that like ship dock bit? Like he saw absolutely everyone die before his eyes, doctor girl included. But like why?? After he died in VR he got released, but hes still got memories of everyone dying. I guess that was pretty confusing for me.

Lets just say when i read the synopsis and watched the first mins of the movie showing an iron man - esque figure fighting rockets, i assumed it was like ready player one. Some could say ready player yuan. But it was still a solid movie even though i was thoroughly mislead. The end 👍

H.P. Lovecraft's Monster Portal (2022)

holy wow this sucked

[1/10 · 2 November 2022]

Okay so i really only watched about 5 minutes of this whole thing. I just skimmed through everything because i thought it would be tons of monsters everywhere (hence monster portal alt title). Boy was i wrong. So they showed the monster a bit in the beginning and then there was like real life simulator for another hour. Only in the end did it get even remotely interesting. The main monster lady got naked and had sex with a monster. Thats it pretty much. Quite literally. Then some bozo killed himself and the title showed.

Theres nothing more i can say. At all. Like i guess the cthulhu cgi wasnt the worst because it was so dark i couldnt even see it. Anyways i got to see boobs so that was cool. Deserves one star solely off that.

The OctoGames (2022)

WOAH!!!

[2/10 · 1 November 2022]

Let's just say this was a movie.

Personally i think there should have been a sex scene between the old lady and mr beast but that is just me. There was some toe scenes though so it wasnt the worst movie.

The person who made this movie must have a vendetta against millennials or something the way they made jaxpro a crazy vape tattoo gamer. Stupid. Actually this whole movie was stupid. I should not give this a 4. As you are reading this, i will have changed my rating to a 2.

Oh yeah at the end with the squid game dude taking off his mask - didn't get it. Is there a prequel I should have watched before or what.

Movie sucked I liked the shooting though i guess. Old lady went crazy with the shotgun. 👍

The Jurassic Games (2018)

Definitely a jump from Time Guardians....

[3/10 · 27 October 2022]

Once again Katie Burgess stars in a NOT GOOD movie. Lets just say she's platinum-ing Ls at this rate. The end bit where she admits to killing homeboys wife made no sense. Like why was she in a maximum prison for her flashback, but old dude who blew up schools seemed fine. Caveman reporter lady was OD though. Hit every shot she took. But like did she even know the dad guy? Like what was up with that. However, LIKE the Time Guardians, it seems they might've set up a sequel? Robot Dinosaurs - Sign me up!!! Next time just add a couple practical effects in there or something to make it more realistic. Advice from a professional critic here 👍

Guardians of Time (2022)

Wow. Just Wow.

[1/10 · 13 October 2022]

Okay so imagine Inception, right? Cool movie but somewhat confusing. Probably have to watch it a couple times, right? Well this movie is exactly like it, except it sucks. Still confusing tho 👍

Literally zero answers to what was brought up. I guess there is a cliffhanger though, so things might be answered in there. Not too sure.

I don't really know what else to say about this. The background music was literally nonstop. No pause ofjust talking. All music at all times.

There was a scene (or scenes I guess??) where they went back in time 3 times but did nothing each time. Wanted to reach a certain runtime maybe? NOT GOOD!

Im ready for the sequel!!!

Four Kids and It (2020)

Hm.

[2/10 · 13 October 2022]

Movie sucked. Smash was by far the worst character. The little boy's most famous scene was when he threw up and got hit by a tree.

Russel Brand was a creeper and should have died when the mansion fell on him. Also political subtexts? I feel he wanted to say another word other than AMERICAN..... hm.

The weird creature was weird. Like gas problems? Who thinks of this?

The parents could not get enough of each other!! Wanting to get down every second their children were gone, AND THEN DIDNT CARE WHEN THE KIDS WERE PRESENT!! Hm.

P.s. Who's idea was it to have the little boy give a gremlin creature mouth to mouth multiple times. Even after the little girl put sand on him and he started breathing, the little boy felt necessary to do it again. Hm.