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The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005)
This movie made me existential
I watched this movie with some friends a while back at 11 p.m. At night and we collectively lost our minds over this film.
I adored this movie 10 years ago, but OH MY GOSH does this movie reek. It is an absolute fever dream, I cannot get over this movie.
The CGI is bad, the plot doesn't make sense, the child acting is surprisingly great, Mr Electric is the best villain in all of cinema, the 3D effects are hilarious, the movie is really dumb, and it sucks narratively.
I don't understand who thought this was a good idea? This movie is an utter enigma of the film industry and it fascinates me to this day.
Frick you Robert Rodriguez.
A Haunting in Venice (2023)
The water looks like Blue Powerade
I know the title makes no sense, but bear with me.
I can't really think of much to say about this movie, I thought it was pretty good and that's pretty much the extent of my thoughts.
I will say that the best parts of this movie is the acting, colors, and the cinematography. I liked the camera work, even though the 0.5x. Cameras was a little weird I got used to it after a while and thought it was kinda neat.
The first seance scene is by far the best in the movie, it's done extremely well and had me on the edge of my seat. The full mystery is pretty good as well, it had me guessing the whole way through.
I really like how this movies makes Venice look, Venice looks really pretty in this film and I really liked the colors of the buildings, water, etc.
Other than that yeah it's a worthwhile mystery movie, if you like the first to poirot movies then you will like this one too.
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
I loved every second of it (almost)
I really enjoyed my time with this movie, but man does it have flaws.
I'm not as much of a FNAF fan as I used to be, but I can see how if you are a die hard FNAF fan you will adore this movie. The experience in the theater was better than the movie itself to be honest.
Firstly, the writing. It's not great, but it's not terrible. The pacing at the beginning feels a little quick, and the movie wraps up way too fast. The movie does not resolve everything at the end and leads to some plotholes. (I won't explain because this is a no spoilers review)
The overall plot is fine enough, but the scares are practically nonexistent. I didn't jump at any of the "scares" this movie has to offer. The jokes aren't that great either, the only time I genuinely laughed was at one of the kills. It looks really goofy, and you will know what I am talking about once you see it.
By the way, there are no actual jumpscares from the animatronics. Which was a little disappointing to say the least. Also all of the kills suck, maybe except for the last one. I honestly think the movie was a bit held back in the kill department due to the PG-13 rating.
Another thing I want to mention is that the score was strangely excellent, I wasn't expecting the score to be amazing. The animatronics look great as well, and so does the pizzeria.
The only scene that I really didn't like is this weird scene in the middle with a random pop song that really kills the pacing and tone. It felt really forced. The movie also takes itself way too seriously, I know I didn't take it seriously one bit. I can totally understand why some people really don't like this movie, it's a bit of a mess and overhyped.
It's a bit messy as it is but I enjoyed my time overall. If you're not a huge FNAF fan, I wouldn't recommend it. If you are a huge fan of FNAF you'll have a blast. Definitely go see the movie with friends.
See you at the second movie.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)
The first time the turtles felt like teenagers
I think that this movie has the best characterization of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles out of any other form of media about them. They actually feel like real teenagers, and act how real teenagers would act. The voice acting really elevates the characters as a whole, not only the turtles. The voice acting across all fields is fantastic.
It's a very fun movie too, well paced and great action. Although I wish that there was more of Giancarlo Espacito, he does a good job as Baxter Stockman. Superfly however, is kind of a pretty mediocre villain. Again, Ice Cube does a great job as Superfly. I just feel like he could have been more, and he just devolves into a big monster fight at the end. Which is fine, but I just feel like Superfly could've been done better.
It's also a very funny movie, some great jokes along with fantastic voice performances that elevate said jokes really do a great job. The plot is pretty decent, nothing mind blowing. The art style is awesome, and April O'Neil is pretty great too.
It's overall a pretty great movie, I don't have too much to say about it. Just a really fun movie.
Blue Beetle (2023)
Not mind-blowing, but definitely underrated
My expectations going in to this movie was that it was going to be just ok and not anything that good. Thankfully I was mistaken, because Blue Beetle is honestly a very fun time. It has some really great elements, but is pretty generic for the most part. This movie feels like a mix between the original Iron Man and Spider-Man in terms of it's writing. With that said, I like how grounded this movie feels in terms of its stakes. So many of the superhero movies are about saving the multiverse, the world, whatever. Jaime's main motivation is protecting his family. Speaking of the family they are built as characters extremely well. They really do feel like a family, and you start to really care for them. To the point where I may or may not have cried during multiple intervals of this movie. The emotional stuff is done so well, and the CGI doesn't suck! It's a shame that decent CGI is the goal for superhero movies now a days. Also George Lopez is absolutely hysterical in this movie, he's a riot. Another downside is the villain, who is super boring and really just reeks of Iron Man. The whole movie reeks of Iron Man, not necessarily in a bad way, but it just makes the movie feel all the more generic. In a period of "superhero fatigue" doesn't help the movie at all. Overall I think it's a very enjoyable time, with fun character moments, and some great emotional beats. It's a shame that this movie will bomb, because this is the best DC movie I have seen in a long time.
Emesis Blue (2023)
Emesis Blue proves that animated horror movies can work very well
Emesis Blue has one of the best concepts I have seen in a horror movie ever. Taking the most integral part of any multiplayer shooter, and turning it into the stuff of nightmares. This alone makes Emesis Blue a fantastically eerie time.
This movie definitely goes for a more eerie and strange approach, rather than a downright in your face scary way. Personally I really like this direction and really makes it stand out as a movie tonally. However I think the eerie feeling it was going for is a double edged sword, because at some points in the film it gets a little drawn out and boring while the mercs are walking around and exploring the building. For the most part however it worked wonderfully.
It does a very good job at giving this feeling of something isn't quite right with the lovable TF2 characters we all know and love. The animation itself is outstanding, and the visual shots in the movie are very impressive. Especially for Source Film Maker.
The story however, is extremely hard to follow. Emesis Blue really keeps its cards close, and doesn't tell you the story upfront. You kind of have to pay close attention to the film to get all the pieces to complete the puzzle, which can be seen as a negative or a positive.
What I'm saying is that I shouldn't have to watch a video to explain the story for me.
The voice acting reigns from decent to great, some of the actors do a great job of impersonating the TF2 mercs. While some do an alright, but serviceable job.
All in all, Emesis Blue is a great animated horror movie. Horror fans shouldn't sleep on this one just because it's animated or because it uses TF2 characters. Emesis Blue provides some of the greatest horror moments in a very long time.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
Everyone says The Flash is the worst superhero film of 2023, it's actually this one
I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in a super hero movie in my life than in this movie, I'm one of the ten people that defends the Ant-Man movies. Claiming that they aren't as bad as people say they are, and while I could keep an argument about the first two being good. I cannot with this one.
This movie feels like the final nail in the coffin for marvel. After phase 3, everything just lacks a sense of direction and focus. Marvel has done a very poor job establishing the multiverse within the MCU, and has made a complete joke with the new MCU antagonist: Kang The Conqueror.
They really dropped the ball with his true introduction to the MCU in this movie (yes I know he's "technically" in Loki, but it doesn't count because that's an alternate kang yada yada yada)
Everyone thats met him constantly says that he's shattered timelines and killed lots of people, but all they do to show us is crimes are a few seconds in differing flashbacks. Sometimes you should show the audience and not just tell them that he's a big threat. I will give credit to Jonathan Majors for being super passionate about the role and giving a great performance, but it doesn't save the character sadly. Not to mention that he literally gets defeated by ANTS. ANTS of all things. He was just earlier evaporating people with laser beams, but some ants show up and THEN he gets defeated?! Why not evaporate the ants?!
It's just so dumb how he gets defeated, and then he fists fights with Ant-Man and he gets shoved into the multiversal engine and dies. Ant-man, ANT-MAN kills Kang (with the help of the wasp). So it kinda just shows that if Ant-man and the wasp can defeat apparently one of the more powerful Kang variants, why should The Avengers even be scared of him? It's just so dumb.
How they deal with Kang is so obviously my least favorite part of this film NOT TO MENTION MODOK. Who literally looks more vile than MR. ELECTRIC from Sharkboy and Lavagirl. It's honestly impressive that CGI is this bad in 2023 and Sharkboy and Lavagirl came out in 2005.
I don't wanna be here all day so I'll keep the rest kind of brief. The CGI sucks the entire film, some of the actors give good performances, and some give bad performances. Especially Modok and Cassy, which give bland, uninspired, and frankly bored performances.
The only thing that really prevents this move from being worse are the performances from Paul Rudd and Jonathan Majors, as well as a couple cool moments, few decent jokes, and the ending which I wont get into but is pretty cool the more you think about it.
Just avoid this movie like the plague, its not at all worth the watch.
The Flash (2023)
Gets too much hate, but isn't that great
I think people ran this movie into the ground because it didn't live up to the hype surrounding the movie, and also because the CGI is abysmally bad, but we'll get to that.
Firstly I want to state that I wasn't even going to see this movie, my dad one day asked if I wanted to go to the theatres to watch The Flash with him and I thought it might be fun. I had seen zero trailers, heard nothing about the movie, and I didn't know what Ezra Miller had done during the development of this film. So I had zero expectations going in to see this film, and after watching it I can safely say that I honestly really liked the movie.
But it's nowhere near perfect, or even great.
I think that the story and the performance of Michael Keaton were the best parts of the film, I didn't know going in The Flash that it was actually a pretty sad story. I actually teared up when Barry had to undo saving his mom. Ezra honestly did a solid acting performance, despite his offscreen actions. The alternate Barry got pretty annoying after a while, but thats how he was written. His jokes were funny maybe the first two times, and then never again.
Other than alternate Barry's jokes, the other jokes were pretty solid. Making me laugh at most of them. My dad even said after the movie that it was funnier than Ant-Man, which I disagree with but goes to show that the jokes weren't half-bad.
I think my personal favorite moments of the movie was when Barry had to undo saving his mom, and the part where there were all the Barry's with the multiverse planets colliding. While very confusing, It was a neat spectacle and where the CGI looked the best in the entire film. Also animated superman Nicolas Cage had me dumbfounded and I loudly exclaimed "Is that Nic Cage???"
About the CGI, everything you hear about it is true. It reeks. It is consistently awful the entire movie. (except for the multiverse scene I mentioned above)
Overall, while definitely overhyped, The Flash is a solid enough time. Even though it has problems in nearly every aspect, it's enjoyable, has a good story and emotional core, decent humor, and good acting across the board. An enjoyable enough time, just don't go in expecting something great.
Nimona (2023)
I'm so glad this movie exists
I hadn't really heard of this film before it came out, or any of troubled production that it had. I am shocked that Netflix of all companies helped bring this movie back to life, alongside Annapurna Pictures. I am so glad that there are moments in the film industry like this. Besides that, this is honestly been my favorite animated movie I have seen thus far in 2023. Even topping Across the Spider-Verse shockingly. The best part about this film are the characters, Nimona and Ballister are a perfect unlikely duo, they breathe so much life into this movie. The animation, facial expressions, and voice acting are all top notch. This applies for all characters and not Nimona and Ballister. The animation is great and the art style is pretty good as well, and the climax of the film is nothing short of breath-taking and tear-jerking. Definitely my favorite scene in the film. This film is completely worth a watch, I would highly recommend it.
*SPOILERS*
I think the only major problems are the twist villain, (you can see it coming a mile away and it is very obvious) and I think that Glorith turned on Nimona way too quick in the flashback scene before the climax. I also think its kinda dumb that Gloriths famous quote "Go back to the shadows from whence you came" is said when shes like 10 or something. Its a little dumb. Other than that, and a few mediocre jokes, the rest of the film is incredibly strong.
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)
Puss in Boots The Last Wish is a dream come true
Puss in Boots The Last Wish is crazy freaking good. The art style is beautiful, the fight scenes are masterfully crafted, all of the characters are endearing and likeable, the messages are on point and aren't forced (Looking at you Raya and the Last Dragon). Everything about this movie is just nearing perfection. The animation is also really dang good. The main villain could be one of, if not the best villain that dreamworks have ever produced. He is just so terrifying and a huge threat to Puss in Boots. The side plot with Kitty and Puss hits really hard. This movie is surprisingly emotional, you really care about Puss and Kitty's relationship. This movie is just really good and more. If we got a new shrek movie that looks like Puss in Boots The Last Wish, then I would be all for it.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is Peak Fiction
This movie is fantastic. I had a blast watching it from start to finish. However, there are a few flaws. These flaws are with the human characters, as they take up too much screen time, and even then, they could be removed from the entire movie and would not change much if you altered the script a little. Another thing is that the dance scene in the middle of the movie lasts too long. I get that it was for bonding time with Sonic and Tails, but it felt too long, and the song choice wasn't the greatest. This movie gets the characters right. Knuckles and Tails have the best representations in this movie than in the past 10 years of sonic games. Great movie, I would recommend.
SuperMarioGlitchy4 (2011)
The Great Decline of SMG4
I have been watching SMG4 for a very long time every since 2015, and I have to say that the show has been on a slow decline in humor and charm. I must emphasize the charm, because as the show progressed the show became more high quality and started to appeal to different audiences. Which turned the og fans away from the show. The new characters are terrible, as with the arcs. The first few were pretty good, but the later arcs proved that the creators have forgotten about the original audience. The newer arcs do not feel like they were intended for SMG4, but rather a different show entirely. The main reason for this is the new company they have created called GLITCH. The shows on GLITCH have been affecting SMG4 as a whole and thus makes the product more and more mediocre as time goes on. I am not sure if SMG4 can recover its glory days.
Khonjin House (2015)
Literally the best show on YouTube. It does not get better than this.
Khonjin House is a brilliantly written web series featuring Khonjin, Gino, Gay Spaghetti and many other loveable characters. The jokes and overall humor is stunning and hilarious. The series as a whole is endlessly rewatchable, and extremely quotable. This is the best show on YouTube.