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Secret Ballot (2001)
1/10
Plodding, Pointless, & Preachy
19 September 2003
After sitting through this film, I have to wonder if the many accolades and awards this movie has received are a case of the Emperor's New Clothes; i.e., it's Iranian, so it must be good no matter what it really looks like.

The film plods along at an agonizingly slow pace. Many shots are several minutes in length with little movement. But instead of making a point, these scenes just feel as if the Director was trying to find a way to stretch out the film. (The filmaker's equivalent of using 14 point font on a term paper.) At one point a scene with significance for future scenes is shot from such a distance that the people are mere specks and you are left spending the next ten minutes trying to figure the major plot hole this long distance scene just created.

Nearly all the scenes amount to obvious, and vaguely preachy metaphors about the importance of voting. Instead of letting a scene speak for itself, the woman vote collector has to make some preachy statement every time. Even more grating, the soldier accompanying the vote collector speaks ever single line in a monotone as if he is reading his lines off a cue card.

This film is billed as a comedy, yet there is nothing remotely funny in the 100 minutes of the film.

Perhaps much of the humor and nuances of language are lost in a poor translation from Farsi. However, after seeing and being highly impressed by "Kandahar", I tend to think this is just not a good film.

Save your money and 100 minutes of your life for something more worthwhile than this film.
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The Henderson Monster (1980 TV Movie)
1/10
Truly Awful.
15 August 2003
One of the worst made for TV movies of the pre-cable TV era. Hyped as a "what-if" movie about the dangers of genetic engineering, the movie consists of nothing but a bunch of hystrionic individuals talking about what COULD happen after a scientist accidently dumps a bad strain of E. Coli down the sink. The problem with the movie is that NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENS, it's just a film with a bunch of people talking about worst case scenarios.

In a way the movie could be a good metaphor for much of the scare-hype of many whack-cases today, all talk, no reality, but I think it's better just to write this movie off as a bad idea that never should have gone beyond being a script on someone's desk.
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Here (2001)
8/10
An ok way to spend 10 minutes
28 April 2002
An interesting short film about an aging hitman looking for a purpose to his life. The film is good, but feels almost like an outline for what could have been fleshed out into a longer film. Definitely worthwhile if you have the opportunity to see it.
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