Russell62 Reviews

Upside Down (I) (2012)

A very uplifting story

[7/10 · 9 February 2014]

A very uplifting story, or depending on which world you are on, a downward plunge. There were a lot of negative comments about "Upside Down" which is a shame. Sure, the physics is nonsensical and everyone knows that from the first moment. There is such a thing as suspension of disbelief which is required to watch movies such as this. Nobody, after all, said the new Superman movie was ridiculous.

It's a metaphor for love being the strongest force in the universe; the power that can literally change the world. I felt all the characters in this film were well-developed, especially Timothy Spall who shone as the cigar chomping burnout in the cubicle above.

The one thing that could have been done differently was the apparent ease by which Adam found work at Transworld. Surely his teen-aged misdemeanor would have been picked up by the HR people when he applied to work there. No matter how fantastic a story, it needs to maintain internal consistency. Never mind that, it was a heartwarming tale and one that I recommend to anyone not too jaded to suspend belief for just long enough to enjoy themselves.

Super Tanker (2011 TV Movie)

What a great way to cure insomnia!

[1/10 · 29 May 2012]

Usually only I am to blame for our "B" movie choices. My wife rolls her eyes at the latest turkey I have wasted time and hard-earned money on, but this one was her idea! It really is surely one of the most preposterously bad movies ever made in the hallowed annals of bad movies. It starts out well enough, a meteor falls to earth somewhere and scientists extract "dark matter" from it. It's downhill on a roller coaster from there.

Several of the cast have a reasonable pedigree, they don't look as if they are desperate to get in any movies going. So I can't see why they bothered to show up for this dud. To be fair, some of them did their best with the atrocious script and ludicrous "psudo science" (if that's what it was) The scene where they were all frantically tapping away on their laptops trying to "reconfigure a blank install" or whatever they called it had all the tension of three friends sitting in an internet café. When one of them announced "I can't hold it much longer, we're losing field integrity," I briefly recalled the original Star Trek and half fancied Scotty should make an appearance "The engines canna take much more, Cap'n" but that would have been too much to wish for.

The characters were mostly clichés. The Chinese man, played by someone called Jacky Woo, isn't even listed on the IMDb entry for cast (probably a wise career move on his part) His English was incomprehensible to anyone other than his two team mates, and the running gag of having the head of the military unit ask "What the hell did he just say?" was funny once, but got tired with over use.

Don't worry, I won't give away the "plot" (was there one?) The super tanker in the title seemed to have been mainly stock footage with a few scenes that my wife swears were shot with a plastic model floating in a large tank.

Even so, I laughed my head off throughout and enjoyed it in a perverse sort of way. Oh, and my wife? She slept from the first appearance of the "death cloud" until the end.

Damned by Dawn (2009)

Starts well, but stumbles later on

[4/10 · 2 May 2011]

Starts well, but stumbles later on.

Basically, I more or less concur with those reviewers who said that in so many words. It begins like one of those old atmospheric Hammer Horrors or perhaps something from the BBC Ghost Story series. The premise of a young woman taking her boyfriend to visit the folks out in the countryside and all the foggy effects starts full of promise. The farm has a chilly, isolated feeling that is just perfect. The comic touches of the father and his slovenly manners (stirring a cup of coffee with his finger! Great, and guaranteed to include a cringe here and there)

The problem is that once we have got going, nothing much makes a lot of sense. Why the family is thus cursed is never resolved and what happened decades ago when Nan was a little girl is so vague. If some rationale had been established as to what was happening it would have probably been a whole lot more effective.

Then the ghosts arrive. They are not really that scary, as everyone else has said, more like the undead pirate crew from "Pirates of the Caribbean" than a bona fide horror movie. When they scuttle behind the cast members, it has all the spine tingling effects of pantomime "He's behind you!"

I won't give away the ending, fear not. However, since it made absolutely no sense to me I'm hardly qualified to in any case. Shame really, this started out with such promise.

Haunted Airplane (2009)

Disappointing, very disappointing.

[1/10 · 20 September 2010]

Well, I suppose I should be the first to congratulate the makers of this movie. It had real potential, that much cannot be denied. The storyline was basically well thought out but lost the plot somewhat in its rather muddled direction. The Wild West scenes are probably the best in the whole film.

A box is discovered that the Devil can use as a gateway to this world and it is all mixed up with a flight on a "halloween themed" airline (yes, you read that correctly!) I won't reveal any more of the story than that but just warn you that the no-budget special effects are unintentionally funny. There are scenes where they appear to have used stills of planes on the runway to save money. As for the acting, well, all I can say is that I hope most of these people have regular day jobs to go to. And the ending? I don't pretend to understand what it was all about. Don't bother unless you are a fan of Z movies.

Invasion of the Blood Farmers (1972)

A classic b movie!

[10/10 · 28 May 2010]

Truly sublime in its awfulness. I watched this in 1988 with a friend who used to bring round videos and beer on Sunday afternoons. I remember having to pause it more than once as we were laughing too much to concentrate, not that you need much brain power to do that. I only wish they still made movies as entertaining as this. I'm trying to remember the music at the start where the old geezers are downing beers in the bar and someone walks in frothing at the mouth, red fizzy stuff that doesn't look like blood. I think it was bluegrass, a totally mismatched musical choice. I like the scene where the police chief is getting out of his car, and the editing is so bad that he changes places suddenly. In all, a masterpiece.

Necessary Evil (2008)

Please don't waste your money on this turkey!

[1/10 · 2 January 2010]

Yet again, I am in the doghouse. My wife and I take turns to select DVDs and it was my turn to get the latest episode of "Lost" and one other. Knowing Lance Henriksen, I thought this might be OK, I was sadly mistaken. There is virtually no plot, much of the acting is barely above high school play level, and Henricksen's (?) voice-overs, instead of injecting a sense of "film-noir" into the mix are simply irritating. Even the monster effects are about as frightening as something out of a Godzilla flick. One of the other reviewers expressed regrets that this garbage didn't reach a wider audience. My regret, apart from renting it in the first place is that they even bothered to make it. Some editions have a "Species" type cover that looks pretty cool. Don't be fooled, Species is a clever and entertaining little franchise. This is pure, unadulterated crap.

The Last Eve (2005)

What a waste of money!

[1/10 · 12 August 2009]

This has to qualify as one of the most idiotic and pointless exercises in "Hey guys, let's make the Bible into a kung-fu workout!" I mean as a school project, maybe, but to release this garbage and expect suckers such as I to shell out money to watch (I abandoned it after about half an hour of having my intelligence insulted once too often)is really asking too much. The previous comment about using this to help you get some sleep was spot on! OK, so the martial arts are excellent, I won't deny that, but next time I want to watch Kung Fu, I will dig out an old Carridine episode.

Avoid this turkey at all costs - for the love of GOD (pun intended)

The Mummy Theme Park (2000 Video)

Don't waste your time!

[1/10 · 18 November 2008]

Why this movie was ever made, let alone placed in the horror section of my local DVD rental shop comes from an area of logical thought that is totally beyond me. Everything about it is a dismal flop. The acting is mostly dire, no surprise that many of the cast have never appeared in any subsequent movies (The Curse of the Mummy Themepark perhaps?) The costumes are idiotic, not even remotely accurate, the false beards look like something they used to clean out the prop room after plundering it for every crappy cliché in the book. The opening scene shows some cowardly locals, and a Brit explorer looking vaguely like something out of the 1924 Tutankamun expedition. There is effectively no plot, no character development, and no reason to waste your time renting this atrocity. The editors warn not to add spoilers. Me write any spoilers? Don't worry, there is nothing to spoil, if anyone reading this is unwise enough to bother watching this uber-turkey, that is their funeral! Don't forget the mummy wrappings!

Desert of Death (2006)

Hopeless!

[1/10 · 2 November 2007]

There are b movies, and there are b movies. This has to be one of the most pointless exercises in "let's make a movie in the desert with some cute girls and buff boys" that anyone ever had. The back projection for scenes where all seven of the main players are crammed into the hummer looks like something out of 1940s Hollywood! The acting is mostly pretty dire, one or two of the players seem to be reading cue cards! The story, such as it is, regards a group of kids (of wildly differing ages!)heading out into the Utah (?) desert for fun, finding a bag stuffed with money that a dead robber no longer needs, and then being pursued by the same "golem" or "sand devil" that killed the original band of thieves. This is not even remotely frightening, the CGI of the creature is about as scary as Cookie Monster devouring a plateful of his favourite snack food. The screw-ups are hilarious, and well-worth watching out for. A girl's tank-top changes colour from bright green to sky blue between her death at the hands of the demon to the next scene where her body is found. In another scene, a car drives past the back of the hummer, when they are supposed to be stranded in the middle of nowhere. After three days in the desert, the girls still have perfect mascara and not a hair out of place.

Ironically, the central message, that negative thoughts and feelings will attract the demon; that negativity breeds on itself could have been a good basis for an interesting story. The end is so convoluted and confused. My wife, who had the misfortune to sit through this dreary effort with me said: "Was that supposed to be scary?" Sadly, the producers here got a touch too much sun,perhaps, and the whole thing ended up pretty well half-baked. Only watch this if you are planning to do so drunk or high on something, and please, don't expect to be frightened.

Dead & Rotting (2002 Video)

Absolutely hilarious.

[5/10 · 25 August 2007]

My wife and I take turns to select the DVD for our weeknight viewing. It was my turn, and the crap looking cover and the title were enough to convince me this would be a turkey. I wasn't wrong there!

Anyone who comes here looking for a classic horror movie will be sadly disappointed. This is absolute garbage, the acting, if we should even dignify it with such a term, is mostly diabolical, the story seems to have been written on the back of a beermat, and even the quality of the film is often grainy and indistinct. To put it in a nutshell, I laughed my head off! It is a comedy, pure and simply, a side-splitting no-budget collection of bits ripped off from every other B movie you can imagine. Please, whoever you are, see this movie! My wife, who usually is not that impressed with my choices of DVD, had to pause the thing a couple of times, as she was laughing too hard to breathe.

Kyûpora no aru machi (1962)

Family drama set in working class town.

[8/10 · 3 August 2007]

Cupola no aru Machi (A Town of Cupolas) was released a few days before I was born. It chronicles the daily hardships and adventures of folk living in Kawaguchi, a city just one stop out of Tokyo in 1962. the grinding poverty, and squalor are pervasive, as is the genuine kindness that many of the people demonstrate even in the face of adversity.

It is interesting that I first went to Kawaguchi in 1985, and some of the scenes from the film were still possible to imagine. The slums where the main characters lived were cleared away in the late 80s, to make way for development, and it was said at the time that some residents resisted moving, even though they were compensated, as they feared losing their close sense of community. Now, in 2007, Kawaguchi is a glass and concrete jungle, and the area around the station would be utterly unrecognizable to anyone returning after a 45 year absence. Although the foundry featured in the movie (and probably the one where some scenes were shot) is still intact, an ancient building surrounded by newer developments, quite a few of the smaller factories and perhaps half of the original foundries have been swallowed up by parking lots, high rise apartments, and the rest.

The main character, 15 year old Jun wants to attend high school, even though her family is poor, and her father, a drunken gambling no-hoper is almost unemployable. One scene is particularly poignant, as he collapses in an alcoholic stupor, his wife tries to find some of his wages that he seems to have blown on betting and booze, she kicks his inert form screeching her frustration and rage as the family looks on. He eventually accepts the help of the local Communist-run labour unions, and Jun becomes friends with the youthful local organiser, although their relationship is more along the lines of a watchful older brother and his little sister than a potential romantic couple.

Like many traditional Japanese stories, rather than a detailed plot and build-up, we are seeing more a snapshot of life, rather like dropping in on some acquaintances, getting to know them just a little, then bidding them farewell, forever wondering what became of them. This is the movie's strength, as the ending leaves you wondering what comes next.