badsharkmovie Reviews

Night Gallery: The Caterpillar/Little Girl Lost (1972) Season 2, Episode 22

you have the plot wrong!

[10/10 · 27 February 2007]

See Above. Laurence Harvey plays a man sent to a tropical plantation. While there, bored out of his mind, he falls in love with an older plantation owners young and beautiful wife. While she shows no interest, he develops the mistaken notion that if her husband would die, she would fall in love with him. So, upon hearing of an insect called an earwig, that sometimes will crawl into a persons ear and devour its way through his brain, he hires a drunken sailor to do the deed for him. This is an excruciatingly painful death, but Harvey's character doesn't care. Later while eating dinner, he realizes to his horror that a drunk was not the best person to carry out this task, as he has put it in his ear by mistake (Or is it; Harvey's character is represented as being unlikeable.) after miraculously surviving, he is told that the earwig was a female, and that they lay eggs. This story is based on an urban legend, which in turn is based upon a true story of an explorer who spent several miserable months with a dead bug stuck in his ear. This story has also been the basis for a famous scene in "The Wrath of Khan," and this episode was mentioned by Mike Meyers character in "So I Married an Axe Murderer".

Silent Rage (1982)

Norris doesn't need prophylactics...he has denim

[10/10 · 18 February 2007]

This movie is a lost classic, the "the Godfather" of the karate trained, small town sheriff vs. indestructible killer, while running a motorcycle gang out of town, and rekindling an old romance genre. All kidding aside, what's not to like about this movie? Chuck Norris is at his butt kicking best, Stephen Furst makes for excellent comedy relief, and Brian Libby, as the indestructible killer, brings to life one of the most bizarre and effective screen maniacs ever, all while hardly speaking a word. There are so many great things about this film. The opening scene, with the noise amped up of screaming kids, loud TV, and the screeching landlady, (easily one of the most annoying characters in screen history), gives perfect motivation to the killers rampage. And what I never hear mentioned is the great lighting and camera work found here. The steadicam work is a particular joy. And the bizarre color palette of reds and greens gives the movie an off kilter look that is unique to only a few movies. The bar fight with the bikers, while a little stagey, is still one of the best fight scenes ever. And Norris' final confrontation with the killer who will not stay dead, is tense and exciting. When I am king, I will have a weekly movie program called "Lost genre classics" that will show great, but little seen movies like "Night of the Kreeps, The Monster Squad, Master of the Flying Guillotine, From Beyond," and others like them. And "Silent Rage" will be right there at the top.

The Rotten Fruit (2003 Video)

Hilarious and Sick Good Fun

[10 April 2004]

Eli Roth is turning into one of the most bizarrely brilliant filmmakers of my generation. His first feature, "Cabin Fever," a wonderfully gory and hilarious film that almost everyone seems to hate, is a masterpiece in my opinion. However, here, with The Rotten Fruit, he uses more humor than horror to pull the viewer in. The background of The Rotten Fruit is as follows: They're the Rotten Fruit, the most popular band in the world, and we get to see the behind-the-scenes antics of the band, whether it be them trying to win a Battle of the Bands contest by offing the competition, trying to take down the evil Snackster free music provider, or just plain old screwing with the staff at a swanky London hotel. Of the three shorts given to us on the Cabin Fever disc, by far the best is the episode entitled "Battle of the Bands". The reasons behind this are the use of clever in-jokes, hilarious usage of British slang, making fun of your typical boy band (which is always hilarious) and, if you enjoyed Cabin Fever, the gory and sick way they take care of their competition. All in all, if you're out for a good laugh, and only want to watch something for maybe 15 minutes, watch The Rotten Fruit. You won't regret it.

Jacquie Allen

Dark Water (2002)

Sadder, and yet scarier, than hell...

[6/10 · 15 March 2003]

"Dark Water" the follow up to Hideo Nakata's "Ringu" is much better than it's predecessor. Usually, a film doesn't hit me hard enough to make me write a review, but this is one of the few that has. Highly recommended, especially for lovers of bootleg/Japanese film collectors.

Rivals (2000 TV Movie)

When are they going to release this one on tape?

[19 June 2002]

*****SPOILERS AHOY!*****

Great TV movie. Very affective; I was depressed for days afterwards. This movie gave viewers a great reality check, letting everyone know that, no matter how much you want it, the hero/heroine CAN die in the end, even if they didn't deserve it. And knowing that this is a true story, not just some fictionalization with made-up characters, makes it even more depressing. Jennifer Finnagen is very good as the doomed Laurie, Marne Patterson plays an awesome psycho, and the rest of the supporting cast was also very good.

What really gets me, however, is how they can release the "Cabin by the Lake" series on DVD and VHS, the first being a movie i couldn't even make it all the way through, but not this movie! Please, I'm begging you USA Network, release this on video, even if it is just a crappy VHS in EP mode! PLEASE!