kimble_bobby Reviews

Ninja Champion (1986)

Made from real ninja movie parts!

[18 May 2002]

Ninja Champion is a collage of martial arts movies glued together by a ridiculous plot. But that's what Godfrey Ho is known for. In the 80's Mr. Ho discovered you could take a bunch of cheap crappy movies and edit their fight scenes together to make a new movie!

The plot for Ninja Champion is as follows; three men rape a woman. The men turn out to be part of a diamond smuggling ring. The woman's ex-husband is an Interpol agent who wants to stop the diamond smugglers and help his ex-wife kill the three men that raped her.

Throughout this movie there are random scenes of nameless guys beating each other up for no reason. Nothing is ever explained. In one fight scene, one of the men changes from a guy with no shirt into a ninja dressed in a red suit. This is never explained, but then again the reason these people were fighting in the first place was never explained either.

If this movie were intentionally made as a comedy it would be the work of a genius. However, I don't think that was the case.

The Mark of Dracula (1997 Video)

Very poor

[1/10 · 24 April 2002]

Roxanne Coyne is gorgeous and there are a couple of funny one liners. Other than that, this was the longest 85 minutes I've spent in a very long time.

Someone reviewed this movie and called it a great "anthology". This is not an anthology. It's only one story. One very dull story.

That's ok though. After viewing this movie (for FREE thank god!) I do feel a bit disoriented, so I can certainly understand why someone would choose the wrong words in describing this horrible movie. Especially since the reviewer claimed to be a fan of Ron Ford and a repeat viewer of Ron Ford films (and I use the term "films" loosely since they're technically videos). I recommend avoiding this movie at all costs. Grade Z.