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Heathonistt
Reviews
The Bear (2022)
Obnoxious
As a career restaurant worker for over 15 years from Chicago who managed similar style restaurants to the place featured in this show, I was excited to see this show. I've miserably pushed through the first season, and really wish I wouldn't have wasted my time. This show manages to simultaneously give the vibe that it was written by someone who grew up watching scripted bad reality tv shows about manufactured kitchen nightmares and has no idea what it's really like to run a restaurant like this, while it depicts everything wrong about restaurant work that CAN be changed and fixed. I could write a novel about the absurdly bad writing (the table-less bar-style 80s plastic menu board greasy spoon takeout restaurant that sells italian beef sandwiches "doesn't do to-gos" and instead employs a full staff to sit around and make small batches of time-consuming fine french fusion dishes with no wait staff), but frankly it's too annoying to think about. The first two episodes include no plot development or character storylines and is simply filled with people screaming over each other the entire time. I cannot understand what anyone says. The extras angrily scream "CORNER" at the top of their lungs every 1.5 seconds -anyone who says "this is how restaurants work" has only worked in highly dysfunctional abusive environments and are conditioned to accept the abuse. This is manufactured stress and drama for the show, and it comes off as lazy writing and obnoxious. Why is the container of gravy on top of a box on the top shelf in an otherwise empty walk in? Because they need DRAMA but don't really want to spend any time making sure the scene seems realistic in any way! This show feels like it was written by a kitchen nightmares reality show producer, and has the same lazy writing, lazy producing, "producers hate their talent" type-vibe of those shows. The chicago references are terrible and stereotypical of what people who aren't from chicago think everyone thinks/talks/acts like there. The only good thing this show offers is beautiful shots of food. That's mostly what the show is. Close-ups of food cooking. We almost never see any of the characters outside of the restaurant. We don't know their lives. They don't have relationships or kids. They're stressed out drones that are there to "serve." A very elitist view of restaurant workers. We hardly know the characters names, as every 3rd word coming out of their mouths are "chef." Everyone in the show calls everyone else "chef." I don't know where this fascist military-like de-personalization of restaurant staff originated from, but it's demeaning. Restaurant owners/managers/workers who wish to alienate their staff and make sure their business fails should employ this "calling everyone "chef" technique. We all know that what people like the most is being de-personalized and being called by words and names that aren't who and what they are. Big props to the actors in the show, they are the only part that makes it worth watching. I would have quit after episode 1 if it weren't for them.
Felicity (1998)
What utter garbage is this?!
I was a teen during the original airing of Felicity and saw the show so many times, I could recite many parts by heart. It was never exactly my "thing" but I remember being so thirsty for any sort of entertainment acknowledging girls my age, I eagerly gobbled up this trash.
I rewatched this show now that I'm in my late 30s. I'm in utter disbelief that something this bad could have ever been made. I could spend all day listing the many small problems with the show - such as 30+yr olds playing 18yr old "normal" college kids who never drink or have sex, the truly god-awful music, the fact that every woman in the show except for Felicity (and Megan in season 4, maybe) is written to be a villain, the fact that senior year featured very little-to-no talk about college, graduation, jobs, internships, etc at all, let alone college-related storylines. Julie, the character who exists solely to try and date anyone who dated Felicity, then yell at Felicity for dating her boyfriends who were Felicity's first... Elaina's lack of storylines in season 4, or just the awful way they treated her throughout the show. The terrible casting, acting, and writing in every repeating storyline about Felicity's parents who are about as mature and intelligent as 14 year old kids. The only time these writers attempted to write an actual surprise in the show, they had Keri Russel cut all her hair off (about 6 inches too short), which turned out so bad that fans stopped watching the show and the ratings plummeted. But I could almost let all that go...
The biggest problem/problems center around the terrible Ben storyline, which suffocates the show. Sure, I get Felicity having a big crush that set her on this journey, but Ben is a POS. He and Felicity have nothing in common. They have no chemistry, aside from a "confusing sadness" they pass back and forth to each other for 4 seasons. He cheats on her constantly, or straight up dumps her for selfish reasons/other girls more times than I can count. Nameless girl in the pilot, Julie, the OTHER pink ranger, dumps her at the beginning of season 2, avery, THEN gets his father's mentally-ill-middle-aged-AA spons-ee pregnant and makes felicty forget about senior year and any plans she might have in order to support him, THEN he cheats AGAIN by having a month long affair?!? He sure does cheat a lot in the 4 seasons of this show. And each time we are expected to just forgive and forget.
And Felicity... well, she doesn't matter. The entire premis/moral of the show is, "Girls, it doesn't matter what your dreams or relationship fantasies are. Friendships don't matter. Education doesn't matter. If you think they do, you're delusional. Your only purpose is to clean up the messes created by the idiot men in your life. The guy you love? He doesn't care about you, and he will make sure to let you know every chance he can. But he'll say "I'm sorry I love you" and you WILL instantly forgive him because THAT's what love is! Also, don't try to choose your own career path, because ultimately you're going to move back home with your parents and do exactly what those miserable controlling people want."
The end.
I hope I saved some of you from wasting your time.
I'd give zero stars if I could, but I gave 1 star for Megan. She's the only good character in the show, and she's highly under-utilized. Also 1 star for JJAbrams attempting to bring some sort of interesting sci-fi twilight zone/time travel elements to the show, too bad they Wizard of Oz/"it was all a dream"-ed it at the end.
Felicity should have been with Noel, for real, starting around the beginning of season 3. Then the show would have been a story of choosing your own adventure and unexpected life changes, making your own decisions and learning whats right and good for you vs what's wrong, instead of a "shy bro's" guide on how to politely and quietly gaslight women into giving up everything they want and dream about in order to stay in a *seriously* emotionally abusive relationship with you, until they end up isolated on the opposite end of the country from their only friends, forced to raise the baby you made with another woman, while you're out having one of your twice-yearly affairs.
I hate Ben.
American Horror Stories (2021)
The real horror isn't in the monsters or
The real horror is how many female characters in this show are cast to be in a straight relationship with male actors who couldn't play a convincing hetero if their life depended on it. Though that seems to be true of AHS for many years now...
This series is sloppy. It's written with the creativity and originality of a film student who is sleeping with their teacher to earn a passing grade. How do you go back to the horror house and not reference even ONE of the original cast of characters that made the show famous in the first place? Yeah, i know we finally get to see a few glimpses of a couple of them at the end in a truly moronic storyline about video games, but they aren't actually written in to be important to the storyline in any way, and it's just a tease. And why cast a "daughter" who looks maybe 5-7 years younger than her "dads?" I fully thought it was a story about two gay guys and their single angry aging lez bff for the first few min, then I watched the rest in disbelief. The female actresses cast in this show have increasingly too much botox/filler/plastic surgery and that wannabekardashian instagram emotionless face and it's painful to watch. The new young actors are very very VERY bad at acting and have the sincerity of a dead-eyed soulless disney child actor - again, this is where the true horror lies. You get a gem like Danny Trejo and you put him in the biggest piece of garbage I've seen in a half decade - an episode where a bunch of undeniably IRL gay actors run around in crop tops pretending to be straight bros, and it's all centered around social media crap. I'm tired of hearing about "followers" and "likes" and "virality." I'm tired of reading test messages in life, television is my escape, yet I still need to read texts to follow storylines. I'm trapped in a waking nightmare. This is MY american horror story.
The actual plots may have been able to be somewhat interesting, but it felt like it wasn't written, casted, acted, or edited by anyone who was interested. Churn out more crap, get a big check from quarantined streamers, start working on the next season. Nothing is original here anymore. Within the first 10 min I turned to my spouse and said "there's going to be a sleepover massacre." Guess what happened maybe 20 min later?
I long for the intricacies, nuance, attention to detail, expansive and diverse cast, and desire to make a masterpiece that was so evident in the first few seasons of AHS. Now it's a gimmick. Anything with the label makes mediocre money from people who love gobbling up crap, so the key is to put as little effort in as possible and release it asap.
Grown·ish (2018)
A show about how young women only care about relationships and nothing else.
I've watched this show for 3 seasons now because it always seems to be on when there's nothing else to watch. Aside from the fact that the show is about "starting college" but really feels like these kids are starting high school, I have failed in 3 years to see any point to any of the storylines aside from that "young women are obsessed with their crush/significant other/ex, and give zero F's about anything else." They are so obsessed, they spend years with people who aren't that into them. They are so obsessed, they drop out of college because of relationship drama or because they got pregnant. They are so obsessed, we are still in season 3 watching the yawn-ful relationship storylines of uninteresting guys the main characters dumped least year and should have dumped before midterms freshman year. I'm still trying to figure out if the show is actually written by a very immature self-absorbed child, or i it's written by a bunch of 40+yr old men who think they are experts in the mind of college-aged women. I think the latter.
Also, no woman on earth has only one "date bra," and if she does, she isn't buying full length orange jumpsuits to wear once for a protest.
The L Word: Generation Q (2019)
Much promise, even more problems
First off, I was very surprised by the warm and fuzzy feelings I got watching Shane, Bette, and Alice come back to life. I didn't realize I had such L word nostalgia. They were 3 of my favorite characters from the past series. I was also excited to see the series was either filmed more in LA or shot to include more LA. The show feels similar to the past, but there are some major issues I can't ignore. Most are related to the cast, who I am JUST NOW learning are NOT all women over 35 - they picked some very mature looking 20-somethings, and I really question what they were thinking when they cast the newbies. First, Finley. UHG. The WORST. She cannot act. She dresses like a slob, to the extent I'm grossed out watching her. Her characters personality is obnoxious and reminds me of all the self-important mooches I refused to date in art school. Constantly drunk, needing a shower, wearing dirty poor-fitting clothes, expecting everyone else to pay her way through the world. Her mouth is always hanging open - I'm waiting to see drool dribble out, Plus the hairy pits - ugh, no. I don't care how anti-feminist that makes me seem, it's repulsive. If the actress doesn't shave, fine, but do you need to include multiple full pit-bush shots in the first and only sex scene she was in that didn't involve vomit? I only hated one L word character more than Finley, and that was Tina. I never met anyone who liked Tina. Even to this day, I yell "Shut up, Tina!" whenever I see the actress in other work. Dani is OK, but she really is just a poor copy of a mini-Bette. I also don't care to continue exploring the trauma of having a conservative latin family not accept her, as I've watched that crap hurt many people I love. I feel a better message for the new generation is to just accept that a lot of us have trash parents and getting them to accept our sexuality is not something that should fill our lives with stress and drama. I'm 35 and frankly, neither of my parents have ever known anything about my sex life other than grabbing dinner with a couple of people I was/am in long term relationships with, and I LOVE it. Never been happier. Micah is OK, too nervous and timid, but I have learned nothing about him aside from his crush on the neighbor he knows nothing about. Alice's girlfriend is SO boring. I know the actress is married to Tig Nataro, but watching her in One Mississippi was tedious and she bored the crap out of me there too. She comes off as too fake-nice to be real, like women I've known who fake meekness and femininity because that's the only way they feel lovable. I don't ever see a person like Alice dating someone so simple and vanilla. What do they even have in common? Sophie seems to only exist to add a little latina spice into scenes (almost in a cringeworthy token way, but as this character has spoken 5 lines in 3 episodes, I'll try not to judge), I know nothing about her aside from that she always is acting like she's a bit drunk or high or ready to party. She gets this look in her eyes - I used to bartend and when people would get that vacant, weak-necked look, I cut them off. The lesbian bartenders - didn't we already watch this? Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindy, right? Except Dawn and Cindy were much more colorful, exciting, and interesting characters (they weren't any of those things, but they were more than these new bartenders fighting over Shane). These two could be replaced by new actresses next week and I'd never notice. I can't really think of too many other new characters that stood out. The main missing ingredients in this series compared to the original are SEXINESS and HUMOR. The sex scenes in this reboot are all very awkward, uncomfortable, a bit gross (spoiler alert-the series opens with menstruation blood oral sex, which told me right away that I wasn't going to be able to convince anyone I knew to watch this show with me). I don't feel any chemistry between any of the couples. And the lack of humor is unfortunate. Alice is "the funny one" yet the funniest thing she did in the first 3 episodes was take several minutes to decide to grab a crock pot for her girlfriends kid to throw up in (yet another very gross moment). I feel like the show is a bit torn in two directions - one where they seem to be trying to appeal to the new, more fluid and colorful generation, and one where they're continuing the drama of the past. I think the show CAN work incorporating both, but we need more of a bridge between the groups. I think one or two more OG L Word cast members (or a few) need to guest star from time to time (HELENA, please, she went from the character I hated most to one of my favs in the original series, it was awesome watching her fall, and get back up, and grow. Also maybe KIT. I would have loved to see more Dana or Jenny, but they killed those two off :( What about CARMEN? Or JODI??). Also we need something to bring the generations together besides that they work for Alice. And more FUN! There are NO lesbian bars in all of Los Angeles?! REALLY??? Don't make your audience sit there and watch people in suits argue politics in office buildings for hours. That stuff really dragged on too much in the original series. Make Bette Mayor, make it fun, inspire your audience, helps them believe anything is possible. That's what we watch TV for.
Castle Rock (2018)
What am I even watching?
I have seen and read most of Stephen kings work. I had high hopes for this series. It featured many actors I love. However I cannot see this show lasting past season 2, and if it does, I don't know who would watch it. I was excited about and very much into season 1 despite everyone complaining that nothing was happening in through the season. By the finale I was in shock that I sat through the entire season and the horrors of sissy Spacek's horrifying nose job with NOTHING at all happening plot-wise. But maybe season 2 will pick up momentum... NOPE. I love Lizzy Caplan. I sat through the misogyny of Masters of Sex just for her. I was thrilled, but confused as to why she was in season 2. Then I realized it was a completely new story, new cast... and the story is terrible. Lizzy Caplan plays a mentally ill (maybe?) conservative lady and though her acting is good, the role doesn't fit her at all. She is the mother to a 16 year old daughter in the show, and the actress playing her daughter looks like she is older than Lizzy Caplan yet acts like she's 8 years old and hasn't ever had a shower - I initially thought the character was Lizzy's "slow older sister" or something to that effect. The other new actors are all awful. The Somali characters are fine, but everyone else is awful. Racist cops, violent angry white men, a confusing storyline that doesn't seem to make sense, and poor casting/poor acting. I'm trying to think of a quick summary for the plot so far 4 episodes in, but it's really just as slow, confusing, nonsensical, and bad-dream-like as the first season, only with less likable characters.
Alternatino with Arturo Castro (2019)
Perfecto
This show is absolutely brilliant! It is original, fresh, funny. It was the bright spot in my week and the show I most looked forward to while it was airing new episodes. I really hope it returns for season 2, though Comedy Central tends to prematurely cancel every show I love, especially ones that star actors of color. I hope, at the very least, Netflix or Hulu pick it up, because this is one of the most topical, well-written, and hilarious programs I've seen come out in a long time.
Los Espookys (2018)
Hilarious, original, quirky, necesitamos más!
I was so pleasantly surprised watching Los Espookys. I had watched a bad run of new shows/new seasons that left me angry or irritated. I kept hearing about this show but the plot didn't necessarily seem like something that would interest me. I'm so glad I finally caved and watched it. Los Espookys is a breath of fresh air. My only problem is that there are only 6 episodes! There is a very offbeat, quirky, artsy, dry sense of humor to the show. Imagine if April Ludgate and her strange friends from Parks and Recreation got the Portlandia treatment, but in Mexico. I've spent much of my life surrounded by strange people experiencing existential dread with odd yet funny personalities, so I found the characters relatable and very likable (or at east very amusing).
Yes there are subtitles, but as long as you are able to read at an adult level with no issues, they aren't a problem. Characters do speak fast and the pacing of the action is fast, so it's a show best viewed when you're able to pay attention - not exactly the kind of show you want to play in the background when you are doing chores.
I hope there are many more seasons of Los Espookys. I hope they are longer seasons. I hope I see more from the cast in the future.
Glitch (2015)
So much promise, such poor execution
The first season of this show hooked me. It is a very "Canadian" show. I know it's actually Australian, but by "Canadian" I'm referring to that degrassi-esque cheese that so many shows made outside the US inevitably end up with. I like a lot of those cheesy shows. I love a lot of the less-cheesy ones. I didn't this one. It reminded me of Lost or The Leftovers. Season 2 got pretty bad. The casting selection for everyone after the main group in season 1 was very questionable. Nobody could act. People didn't seem to be in good enough physical shape to be running around filming action shots. The pregnant woman is just the worst. They make her an unlikeable crazy character, but the actress playing her and how they depict her... she's just so sloppy, sad, and obnoxious. The hot aboriginal cop they turned into a killer and really ruined that character for me. I was still pretty excited for season 3 & I planned to stretch out and enjoy it. I binged it in one long morning and afternoon. By episode 3 I couldn't wait for it to be over already. They introduced new characters, whose stories felt too rushed and sloppy. People just start dying everywhere, all the time. It really feels like a free for all but you're forced to sit and watch the worst parts. A lot of really bad writing. Bad dialogue. Uncomfortable predictable scenarios. No one knew how to hold a gun, and all gun shots/shooting scenes were SOOOOOO bad. I barely pay attention to the accuracy of any action/shooting in film, and I had to pull my jaw off the ground at how bad these gun/shooting scenes were. The actor that played the gay dude love interest was... a hipster pulled straight from Coachella who was trans/a crossdresser then wasn't..? and that whole story felt so weird and fake and what even happened to him? He just disappears at the end? We have to watch the new Chinese guy spend a couple episodes building to a moment where he slaps a child he believes is his child for some bizarre reason but we don't even get 5 seconds of the new gay guy who died expressing any emotion about how he feels about dying or the person he died for wh he met 2 days ago leaving forever without him or anything...? The endings for all the characters felt very unjustified. It felt like they took a religious cop-out to the ending of a sci-fi story. They never explained this huge subplot of these other research facilities and the science parts of what they were doing. The whole show had a very "science is wrong because scientists play god and god made the rules about life and death and science should never challenge that because GOD!" moral to the ending. They juggle a couple of new characters storylines (and really whose idea was it to keep that 30-year old short "little girl" in the most unflattering fat wrinkly dirty old overalls from the late 80s for most of the series? do you not have clothing that is less than 30 years old in Australia?) which involves a moral tale of the destruction of religious hypocrisy, yet the ending is all about having blind faith. Actually, put that way, the show IS very Australian. Sorry, Canada.
13 Reasons Why (2017)
First season was pretty good, but then...
The first season was good, but dark, and very over dramatic. I've dealt first or second hand with all of the "dramatic experiences" this show deals with. They did a good job of showing how gross and real and uncomfortable these terrible experiences can be. But then they threw in some thick Canadian cheese to give it a "people are too nice/smart/dramatic/optimistic/naive" Degrassi-esque flavor of Canadian cheese. In season 2, the show was one big cheese sandwich, but one that was old and moldy and you had to eat it anyway, knowing you'd feel sick afterwards, but you did it anyway, and now you are. Hanahs story in season 1 was very "real." Season 2 tried too hard to keep the story of a dead girl going, and it it just felt even more ike I was stuck in a world I didn't want to be in. I didn't like where any of the characters were going in season 2. I only discovered that there was a season 3 a few days ago. I'm halfway through season 3. This show has gotten REALLY bad. They introduce a new character and made her the main narrator - which is a big no-no for any show. But added to that, they made her character flat, lacking any personality, interest, friends, or life outside of trying to be a living journal of what these bored little rich kids in California are doing - and she's a black African immigrant who grew up in the UK... OK. She could have the most interesting story out of the group. But I can't watch her for more than 1 minute at a time without yelling at my TV "what is wrong with you? why do you care so much about these sad messed up little rich kids that hardly seem to know or care about you whatsoever?" and she's supposed to be a character who "pays attention and knows things" yet early on there was a big miss with a false assumption she made that her friend was sleeping with her rapist, I rolled my eyes and called BS on that immediately. I can't tell the white teenage boys apart anymore. The one that played the boyfriend in season 1, the one that is the rape-y bully who pegged the boy, and the kid with crutches all look so similar, I often don't know who is in a scene until I pay attention to the context. These actors ALWAYS have fake bruises blood and gore on them. ALWAYS. I have no idea how much time is supposed to go by but their faces are constantly beaten up and their wounds never seem to heal. The teens are all very articulate, mature and well-adjusted now despite the fact that they lack any sort of real or healthy relationship with their parents. There seems to be a serious lack of strong young women in this show - every woman is either a victim, a liar, an anarchist, or they leave town. I was going to give a bit of a better review but I just googled this show and saw headlines that gave away the ending to season 3. Unless the multiple headlines from various news sources are wrong, whoever decided that is the way this story should end is sick and should be locked away from people until they learn it's wrong to empathize with rapists.
Roswell, New Mexico (2019)
Terrible acting and writing, poorly cast.
I gave it 2 stars because I loved the original (even though it was pretty bad also), I love alien shows and scifi. I have now watched the first 7 episodes of this reboot. In no particular order, the main issues that prevent me from liking this show (With few spoilers) are the following:
- The actors can't act. The actress that plays Liz is the only one who can deliver lines and finish a scene without feeling completely forced, making awkward faces, or just seeming very insincere. The actors that play Kyle and Alex are particularly terrible, with the actors that play Max and Isabell tying for runners-up.
- Rosa. Rosa. Rosa. Expect to hear it with a forced Spanish accent and rolled Rs every 5 minutes. This isn't a real living character in the show, but her name comes out of every characters mouth in every other sentence they speak.
- Liz isn't Liz. She is Liz Ortega. In case you forgot she's Latina. Don't worry, they will use her full name every 10 minutes or less to remind you. What other Liz could they be referring to? Who knows, it's a mystery. Also, I only recently discovered that Liz in the original Roswell wasn't Latina and/or Native American and/or mixed. I knew Shiri Appleby wasn't, but even 20 years ago when I was pre pubescent, I assumed Liz was meant to be a girl of color and Hollywood just cast a white girl as usual.
-The makeup people/stylists are terrible. Every man in this show is wearing 15lbs of makeup, and it is VERY obvious. I couldn't figure out why the men all looked so weird for the first 3-4 episodes. Then I caught a glimpse of Kyles Trump-esque self-tanner glow. Now their makeup is all I can see. I noticed this while watching the episodes on my laptop computer, btw. Can't imagine how terrible they must look on a real television.
-The actors seem too old for the roles they play. I know they're supposed to be a decade older than the original show, but they look and act 2 decades older. I assumed they were all meant to be in their late 30s until they repeatedly talked about how they graduated high school 10 years ago. Regardless, I cannot stop seeing (most of) these actors as late 30s/early 40 somethings. Max, Isabell, Kyle, and Alex again win the awards for looking way too old to play their own real-life age (age according to IMDB, though actors admit to lying about their age constantly). Perhaps this is due to the excessive bad pancake makeup and styling. Perhaps it's Alex's eyeliner and Cali bro circa 2002 hair. Perhaps it's due to the fact that each one of them have shockingly deep voices for their physiques, voices that sound 15-20 years older than they are. I just can not and refuse to believe that these actors are a couple of years younger than I am. They look older than my husband, who looks great for his age but is in his 40s. And neither of us are actors or have had any work done... I demand birth certificates.
-How expensive is it to purchase the music rights to 3rd eye blind? Must be pretty expensive, which is why they have whiny little-girl-voice sung covers in too many episodes. I've seen 7 episodes, lost count of how many 3rd eye blind covers I've heard. Never heard 3rd eye blind in original Roswell, I wonder why they're going so hard for it in the reboot.
-I cannot tell the difference between Isabell and the lady cop that Max works with. They look exactly the same except the actress that plays Isabell has a large very noticeable mole on her face (that is really all I can look at - it's like they intentionally film her from angles that make it all you can see) and gets a creepy bug-eyed look whenever she's pretending to be surprised/scared/stressed/paying very close attention/etc. The actress playing Isabell actually only has 2 looks in this series so far: resting B face, and "someone slipped an ice cube down my pants while filming but I CAN'T MOVE" bug-eyed surprise. The lady cop only has the B face. They also have the same voice and neither of them ever smile or pretend to act calm, casual, or mildly upbeat. They are both p'd-off stress bombs 24/7 who are freaking out and running away in every scene. There is a scene (SPOILER ALERT NOT REALLY) where Max sleeps with a blonde woman. I am still unsure whether he slept with Isabell or his coworker. I thought it was Isabell (barf) until I began typing this review. Now I have no idea.
-Maria is black? 7 Episodes in, I just learned Maria is black! I thought she was Latina. Good thing the writers added that into the dialogue, one old best friend confessing to another that she's black, because I had no idea. Also, Marias mom is crazy in a way no actual mentally ill people are, can't remember anyones names or truth from fiction, but boy can she still make sure her eyeliner is on point in the middle of a breakdown.
-The writing is weird, terrible, and feels very amateur. The writing in the first Roswell was shockingly bad. This one is worse. I have no idea what is going on. Every episode is trying to solve a 10-year old mystery nobody cared about until now. And the changes the writers made from the original are awful. The original Roswell was sexy, silly, funny, and had an intensity to it that made you really feel involved with and root for the characters. This is not sexy, even though it contains a lot more sex. I'm actually pretty grossed out and really uncomfortable by all the forced chemistry. I DO like the Michael/Alex relationship, even though new Alex is a terrible actor and looks like the type of dude who wears too much cologne and hair gel to DJ a black light foam party sponsored by vodka redbull. I don't like that Michael isn't funny and doesn't have any relatable human moments like in the original. Liz and Max have ZERO chemistry. The whole basis for why Max loves Liz in this reboot makes no sense (he had a crush on her for her whole life while she was dating and sleeping with someone else before she left town never to think about him again?) and Max comes off as having serious mental issues. The idea that we're going to be watching Liz interact with the aliens for the duration of the show after finding out about her sister and Isabell is MESSED UP. No no one would ever deal with a situation THAT TERRIBLE in the casual way these people are, even though I predict a surprise twist that will.. make it all ok? But it won't. VERY badly written. And whoever idea it was to go this route needs to start seeing a shrink. Kyle is... asexual? I cannot see this person as a sexual being. Not the way he acts, his sex-y scenes are NOT sexy and feel forced and uncomfortable. And Isabell being all 50 Shades? Gross. Stop. What even IS that? No one is buying it. No one even wants to watch the free preview.
-Too many storylines, too scattered and all over the place. Trying to be too relevant to current political issues, but completely out of touch. Again back to Maria - she's delivered about 5 sentences throughout the first 6 episodes. Then she delivers about 4 more sentences in the 7th episode. Yet I can't even keep the stories straight - something about affairs and love children and addicts and aliens and nail polish remover and ICE and everyone is trying to cover up/solve a murder while in full makeup. I have no idea what Isabells husband looks like. I know nothing about any of these characters, yet the first season is almost over. When am I supposed to start liking them or really getting interested in their stories?
-Isabell. My main problem with the original Roswell was how they treated Isabell. 99% of the people watching either version of this show are women. It came out at the time of Buffy and similar shows about young women proving their strength, being cool, kicking ass. Roswell is a show about neutered suburban aliens who sometimes do crazy superpower stuff to save the world or whatever. Then you take your ONE lead female alien, and make her devoid of any cool super powers (Oooo she can get into peoples minds! but not really well and it doesn't work often. Jealous...) and preoccupy her with boring relationships, playing house, cooking, cleaning, and hiding everything about herself that makes her a powerful badass? At least she wanders around the desert in middle aged mom lingerie often...? I hoped this reboot would do Isabell right, but this version of Isabell is coming out to be a carbon copy of Tess from the old Roswell, no point in existing other than to mess up everyones lives, and I'm hoping new Isabell will meet the same fate old Tess did, asap. Actually, I hope all these new aliens meet the same fate.
SMILF (2017)
Terrible people behaving badly, little to no humor.
I give this 2 stars solely for Rosie's performance. She's always great. However, I cannot enjoy this show. I am in the right age, demographic, from a similar upbringing, urban environment with a poor, messed up family, I'm not a prude, I even look a bit like the female lead (minus the 50lbs of makeup she wears to go work out). However, I can't watch this show without feeling incredibly annoyed and repulsed. Not by language, sex, or any of the other "bad" things that typically get uptight people to turn off a program like this. The characters are simply terrible people. They are rude, compulsive liars and cheaters who are intrusive and self-absorbed for no reason other than to cause shock for the tv show. I would not want to be stuck pumping gas at the same station as any of these people. There isn't any comedy in the show other than laughing at what a mess and how awful these people are - similar to watching MTV reality stars embarrass themselves on TV - which results in more eye rolls, cringing, and me exclaiming out loud to the tv, "What the f is wrong with you?!" I thought I was perhaps too rough on the first season and should give season 2 a chance. I was cringing and rolling my eyes 5 min into season 2. Reminds me of how I felt watching Girls. Yet another show about how terrible and messed up young women are, how none have any redeemable qualities or compassion for anyone but themselves. No life lessons. No moral to the story. Little to no entertainment in any of the 30 min episodes. Just more overly sexual young women wearing too much makeup and bad clothes running around causing chaos and misery everywhere they go. Definitely a big part of being a young dumb-dumb, though one I haven't seen many people over the age of 25 partake in, especially not parents.
With representations of young women like this, it's no wonder the world hates them. Hollywood clearly has a thing for green lighting programs that make the world hate women more.
In a show like Shameless, which is the only similar one that comes to mind I enjoy, the terrible, messed up kids grow up and become better people, they actually come off as though they care about people other than themselves. The stories grow and change. Characters have redeemable qualities. SMILF is merely a narcissistic exercise in vulgarity, and there is nothing in the story that compels me to watch another episode.
Room 104 (2017)
Season 2 is a huge improvement over season 1
Season 1 was somewhat boring, predictable, and frankly only a few moments have managed to stick in my memory. I wasn't in any rush to watch season 2 and waited to binge until the holidays when there wasn't anything else on. Season 2 is a HUGE improvement. Fantastic cameos from great actors. A very unique feel for each episode. And MUCH better stories.
Fans of Black Mirror will definitely find appeal in season 2. Season 1 doesn't have the same feel. Each episode stands alone so viewers can watch wherever they wish.
Lore (2017)
Season 1=Good. Season 2=Terrible.
I love the podcast. I LIKED season 1 a lot. I thought they'd work out the kinks and make season 2 much better. Nope.
Season 2 should be renamed to "Gore." They switched from telling haunting stories to the Hollywood playbook of silence interrupted by loud noises and a lot of overly dramatic fake blood and gore scenes to attract viewers. But most Lore fans aren't necessarily GORE or HORROR fans. There are a million horror/gore films for fans of that genre. What attracts so many of us to Lore is that for US, the IDEA of madness, fear, loneliness, disease, etc. We don't need to see rotting corpses, we want to hear stories of how humans have failed each other, betrayed each other, lost each other. Far more terrifying than fake blood.
I nearly forgot about the narration. That may be a big part of what turned me off season 2. I've been trying to watch it for months now.
The Deuce (2017)
A mess.
There are a million reasons I should love this show, yet I really can't seem to muster the interest in watching even one more episode. I watched every episode up until season 2 episode 5. This show is all over the place. A million characters, a million storylines, every one incomplete and confusing. I don't understand why the show jumped ahead 6 years between season 1 and 2. That's a really huge jump in the timeline, though from the storyline I've figured that the only thing that changed over the years is that characters hair got a lot worse. The show could have been better, especially if they would have eliminated Francos storyline/the mob storylines, or at the very least not had Franco play 2 characters that are constantly grinning at each other and aside from the women they're sleeping with, are otherwise indistinguishable. I don't really understand the storylines about the mob/cops/pimps, why I should care about them, or what they contribute to the overall story as the show is very scattered. Maggie Gyllenghals character is the most interesting and her character and story is the most coherent, though I still can't understand the purpose or direction of her story. Overall, aside from the scattered, slow, yet too fast pace of the show and the storylines that seem always left incomplete and unsatisfying, the tone of the show is a miserably depressing mess. Near constant violence, physical and sexual, and any chance of hope or opportunity vanishing as a bunch of characters lives fall apart. No silver lining. No happy ending. No peace or comfort. No female empowerment or sex-positive optimism. I feel the show will live and die just as many of their female (and male) characters, a cold, lonely, abrupt death after a slow, painful, violent, disease-ridden life in which the rest of the world looked away.
Very Cavallari (2018)
WAS Excited, NOW Disappointed
I was excited to hear that Kristin Cavallari was getting back into reality TV. I watch everything Laguna/Hills, even though it is all terrible. This show is so much extra terrible though. Kristin is only mildly interesting in the show. Her husband is a chauvinistic meathead I wouldn't spend a dinner with let alone marry, don't care how much he's worth. Her "friends" aka employees are the worst, and I do not understand how or why including them was ever seen as a good idea. 3 or 4 of the girls I cannot tell apart, they're boring chicks with boring lives who drink wine and talk on tinder to people who are likely actors as we never hear their real names. Then theres a blonde woman who always looks like she's taken too many sedatives at a funeral, I only hear her talk about her big boobs. Yeah, ok, interesting story... The worst is the redheaded mouth-breather with the jiggly blochy weird colored (probably spray tanned) skin she constantly shows off in skimpy clothes, who looks like a young(ish) Mama June. That chick is incredibly obnoxious and I am pretty sure it's impossible for her to NOT say something idiotic. I have seen her close her mouth for a total of 3 seconds total during the first 6 episodes. I really tried, but halfway through the 7th episode I stopped and proclaimed, "Done with this." I have a high tolerance for watching garbage. I'm American. This show, however, is a never ending ride of slow-paced boring annoyance. I never want to watch another episode, I never want to watch anything with any of these people in it again, I never want to go to Nashville if it is anything like this show.
Il ciclone (1996)
very funny
i barely speak Italian-only level 1 or 2 at best, plus a little slang, and didn't have subtitles when i watched this film. i found it incredibly easy to understand and laugh-out-loud funny. Films very rarely make me laugh out loud, but i had a huge smile on my face and frequently laughed throughout this film. it's mostly more adult humor, with sexual jokes and gestures, though nowhere near as filthy as American sex comedies like American pie. The love story is a bit cheesy, with the leading lady Catalina always wearing shirts that revealed her cleavage and shorts that.. well, revealed her cleavage. however, there's enough comedy to distract you-from the morbid, artistic brother, to the lesbian sister, to the father who becomes a stoner. great film, recommend to everyone.
i'd give it a 10, but i never give out 10s.