flyingcandy Reviews

Orange County (2002)

Hollow Peel

[1/10 · 8 December 2009]

This movie suffers from what many modern (post 2000) slacker comedies are stricken with: the "Anything Goes" syndrome. There are few bounds in this independent film directed by Jake "Son of Lawrence" Kasdan, featuring cameos from Chevy Chase, Lily Tomlin and Lawrence's own stock actor, Kevin Kline.

The story centers on a young man from... yep, Orange County, California, who spends his careless youth surfing and partying; then reads a book that "changes his life" and, along with a dream to become a writer, really wants to attend Stanford University to meet the book's author who works there.

Along the way this desire (i.e. the plot) is outshined by the wacky side-characters, including two Beavis and Buttheadish surfer pals; a drunk mother (Catherine O'Hara) married to a crippled old man; a selfish father (John Lithgow) married to a gorgeous young "trophy"; and a stoner brother played by Jack Black (who's not in the movie as much as is promoted) - all vying to outdo each other on screen.

When the main character - played by bland Colin Hanks, son of Tom - finally arrives at the college of his dreams, within ten minutes he's accidentally given the dean of admissions (a portly Harold Ramis) enough "X" to blind a horse, and to top it off, his zany drugged-out brother (using every stoner cliché in the book including the usual "WOW!") burns the admissions building to the ground.

Nothing really matters at this point, and yet we have another (drawn-out and totally useless) half-an-hour to go. All the things that should have been peripheral eccentricities, which end up leaping to the foreground of every scene, are symptoms of that disease I already mentioned: "Anything Goes"... Which can be, as in this case, fatal. That is, without that one cure, substance... Something this movie has very little of.

Thieves Like Us (1974)

Altman in the Rough

[10/10 · 8 December 2009]

Lackadaisically effective remake of Nick Ray's "They Live By Night", a handsome 1950s film noir where the characters, although played by some terrific actors, always seem ready to break into song, this is to that film what "The Long Goodbye" is to "The Maltese Falcon"... turning slow-burn cool into an idle handed, haltingly-paced, shaggy Devil's playground.

Keith Carradine turns in a flighty, dazed, yet realistically down-home performance as the boyish escaped-convict sandwiched between two older, and in some ways, more experienced criminals. It would be hard to take the two side baddies, played by John Schuck and Bert Remsen, very seriously if they were cast as tough guys in a tough guy film to begin with. All three are desperate, pathetic losers who rob banks for a quick buck - one of them, Schuck, happens to be quite dangerous when cornered. The dialog between the trio are like grownup kids stuck in an endless detention class (i.e. prison). And Shelley Duvall's moll, unlike the first film's beauty (played by an actress who's more gorgeous than corn-fed/homely), is really a side character, used prominently in the second half after Carradine's injured in a car wreck. And while their chemistry lacks the instantly-driven-spark of the original, it's nice to have the romantic aspect - more accidental than staged - tucked in the backseat where (I feel) it belongs.

But the most effective element isn't the acting, or Robert Altman's ever-gliding camera-work, but the radio programs, like "The Shadow", playing in the background throughout, providing a subliminal narration dictating events such as the crooks robbing their banks - which we only see from the outside two out of three times - or the programs running during the downtime, between bank jobs; all these scenes which can seem quite boring to anyone expecting an actual gangster film, but is what, in my opinion, makes this anti-gangster picture click.

And is why I prefer it to the original. Beautifully-shot melodrama is replaced with an uncontrived, purposely sloth-toed tale about what (unconventionally-cast) criminals do when they're not doing bad things.

And Louise Fletcher, as Remsen's relative who allows the men to stay in her house, gives a subtly-sly performance you have to watch a few times before fully realizing she's more than just filler.

Brüno (2009)

The Story In There

[7/10 · 8 December 2009]

Putting aside the fact that every situation is contrived, and all the "participants" are obviously in on the joke, this is actually a funny movie about a gay Austrian wannabe fashionista's odyssey to become not just famous, but VERY famous. He does just about anything it takes, including becoming straight, for this seemingly impossible goal, and while the situations aren't always hilarious they are entertaining, and throughout the "skits", some of which are jabs at celebrities, like adopting an African American child for publicity, and religion, like meeting with pastors who "make men straight", there is an actual love story that, bizarre as it seems in the buildup, becomes the very thing that bookmarks the film into something that feels legit despite the platform of setup, strikingly bogus interviews and confrontations. Just forget it's trying to seem real and you'll find yourself addicted to the main character's "stranger in a straight land" dilemma. The real humor lies in our hero Bruno's stubborn drive to keep his hectically flamboyant focus intact despite it working against him.

Grand Canyon (1991)

Grand Pretentious

[1/10 · 3 December 2009]

If anyone thinks MAGNOLIA is the most pretentious movie ever made, as Richard Dreyfuss tells Robert Shaw in JAWS: "I got that beat."

This movie, about rich and poor people in Los Angeles whose lives intertwine, all discussing their own philosophies of life, takes the pretentious nasal-gazing gold medal.

Lawrence Kasdan, who's written and directed modern classics like SILVERADO and THE BIG CHILL (and wrote the script to THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK based on George Lucas's story), penned this do-gooder doozy with his wife, Meg. Kevin Kline's car breaks down in Inglewood (after a Laker game) and is almost killed by gangsters; Danny Glover, as a tow truck driver, saves him; they become friends and we follow each of their (and their friends and families) lives and basically learn: we're in different sized boats in the same raging sea.

Hollywood bigwigs with tons of money obviously have a lotta guilt, and the Kasdans probably wrote this to assure their diamond-studded cronies: "No matter if we're millionaires, at least WE care". Or something. This film is God-Awful. Every sentence has a POINT; every camera angle an AGENDA. "I dare you to watch this and NOT LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE", is in parentheses throughout. As one character says: "People who excel at one thing think they know about everything." I think Lawrence and Meg might have been projecting here.

And, at the very end of the two-and-a-half hours of ponderous diatribes (people carrying- on as if they've had that perfect amount of alcohol)... as the cast (including Steve Martin as a film producer who, after being shot in the leg, realizes his billion dollar bank account is pointless; Mary McDonnell, whose very countenance screams "I'm Better Than All Men", playing Kline's wife who finds an abandoned baby; and Jeremy Sisto as Kline's not-spoiled but very privileged son who works with the handicapped) all stare off into the actual Grand Canyon... realizing their problems are tiny in comparison... Don't be surprised if you hear yourself screaming "JUMP!" like I did.

Rocky III (1982)

Apollos's Film

[9/10 · 21 May 2007]

This film belongs to Carl Weathers. His character "Apollo Creed" is not only the best character, but the most important. There are two stories here: one about a champion who has been fighting semi-good boxers to remain on top, and then losing to a real fighter ("Clubber Lang"). Then there is the story of the fallen champ who teaches the newly fallen champ how to be a "real fighter". This is the story that shines, and ties everything together, and makes this the second best Rocky film in the series. Burt Young's "Paulie" is hilarious too, especially the way he reacts to the living conditions in downtown L.A. when Apollo brings Rocky to train there. I highly recommend this movie for anyone who wants to be "pumped up" and/or motivated. Okay, it's corny here and there, but it's Rocky, not Shakespeare... Thank God!

Agent on Ice (1985)

Not Bad Actually

[7/10 · 18 May 2007]

This was a pretty decent movie. I purchased an old VHS copy online because the star, Tom Ormeny, was my acting teacher, and a very good one. In this film his performance is liken to that of a Charles Bronson or a Steve McQueen: the entire premise of the film centers on him, so he didn't have to do much but just be a guy who has to survive at all costs and shoot a gun at the heavies and be tough and quietly sexy with the ladies who dig him with a heartbroken chagrin in their eyes. (Personally, I think Tom would be better suited in a character-acting role. And speaking of Charles Bronson, this would have been a good vehicle for him... He definitely could have used it in the eighties when he was married to the Death Wish franchise.) The other characters, like the mob boss who wants him dead, and the two young trigger-happy henchmen (one played by Matt Craven who I always remember from "Meatballs"), do the real acting. They're the ones with something at stake... like half a billion dollars. Ormeny plays a retired CIA operative John Pope (many characters in action films seem to have this name) who, after he is almost killed outside his office, must go from place to place, and find out who is after him (adding to his character a noir-gumshoe quality), and then he must do something about it. The camera-work is incredible. Kudos to whoever the cinematographer is. I loved the long shots and the rolling shots as well. The camera moved with precision, and that's the high point of the film. The synthesizer music is very annoying, and very eighties, and it's too bad because this kind of dated music can often ruin a film like this that doesn't seem, by its looks, to be set in one specific decade. There are many hooks and catches to this movie that will keep your attention. I'm surprised it's such a neglected film, although I'm sure someone like Quentin Tarantino (who has seen almost every crime movie ever made) has probably seen it. It's definitely worth a look, and worth the $.75 cents for a used VHS copy somewhere online.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

2005: A Film Tragedy

[1/10 · 9 February 2007]

This movie was simply awful. I am waiting for someone, anyone, to point out that Johnny Depp was just terrible. The first twenty minutes, in a grandiose fashion, leads us to a giant man named Willy Wonka who can put the world on it's toes by putting gold tickets inside five candy bars. Then when you meet Wonka, he's nothing. Johnny Depp is as pale as a sheet; I'm not referring to his white makeup and fake white teeth, but his acting. He's doing an imitation of Jim Carrey doing an imitation of Michael Jackson. His Wonka not believable at all. The kids are just bad. Rich, and bad. You get the whole Hollywood push of "rich kids are evil, while poor kids are perfect", meanwhile, what about the children of Hollywood actors and producers and directors, are they exempt because their parents are artists instead of capitalists? I don't get it. I just don't get it. I really don't get this at all. This movie was so terrible. The songs were horrid. One Oompa Loompa playing them all of them was cheap and lame; and the songs made me hide my head in disgust. And there is a segment where Burton pays "tribute" to Stanley Kubrick's "2001", and it's all but blasphemous to people like me who literally worship classic films. In the original, Gene Wilder was believable. He really seemed like the character. He was the character. But Depp, as usual, was simply performing. Horrible. Horrible. One of the worst movies I have ever seen. A C.G.I. overkill.

Corvette Summer (1978)

Laserblast vs. Star Wars

[4/10 · 4 February 2007]

I know no one cares, but I do. This film is historic for one reason. It is the unity of two heroes from two great seventies sci-fi films. Well, one is great, and one is quite bad. The great one is truly great, in fact it's the best. The bad one is truly bad, in fact it's the worst. Of course of the great I refer to "Star Wars" and it's star Mark Hamill, aka "Luke Skywalker", who is the hero of this film about a kid who gets his Vette swiped and then goes to Vegas (on a lead) and after a whole lot of adventures, eventually recovers it. (Since he's into fixing cars I guess you can call him "Lube Skywalker"). Along the way he meets a hooker with a heart of gold, and ends up facing off with a character played by Kim Milford, the hero from the seventies sci-fi cult film "Laserblast", which is, as I've hinted at earlier, the worst sci-fi film ever made. Milford plays the lead baddie whom Hamill must steal his car back from. I realize that no one cares about this meeting of two great sci-fi heroes, but I do. And I also must say that this is one of the best/worst movies of all time. Mark Hamill's acting needs the force, the plot needs extensive Jedi training, and the character of the hooker played by Annie Potts just might be the most annoying character of all time, ever, in any film I've ever seen. But it's a fun movie to watch on a weekend day, or a weekday night, late at night, very late. It's one of those films that meanders, looking for something but without quite finding it and yet, at the same time, it's entire purpose is, like free-form jazz, to simply exist as is. And it does. And what is, isn't that great, but you can't say it isn't entertaining, because for an hour and a half you might feel ripped off, but you won't feel cheated. So turn off your mind, relax, and enjoy this muddled gem without any expectations, and may the force be with you, always.

Saint Jack (1979)

Cosmo's Return

[9/10 · 7 January 2007]

Now I know this isn't a sequel to John Cassavette's "Killing of a Chinese Bookie" where Ben Gazzara plays a character named Cosmo who owns a strip joint, has gambling debts, and owns a strip club, but it might as well be called "Cosmo goes to Singapore". It's basically the same movie set in a different location, and this is a big compliment. We follow this character, Jack Flowers, around the entire city and get to know every nook and cranny of his existence and the seedy town in which he inhabits. Peter Bogdonavitch plays a character in this, sort of a rich mysterious stranger who gives the the down and out Jack a job here and there in the city to make some money. This part could have used a better actor. Peter enjoys acting, but he's no actor. He seems to be going through the motions, like he's setting up a scene for a real actor to take over... but none does. The always capable Denholm Elliott plays a sidekick of Jack's and he is, like always, quite good. So in a nutshell, this film is pretty great. Peter Bogdonavitch returning to his roots and his mentor, Roger Corman, who gave him his first gig with "The Wild Angels", directing parts of it, and then his first feature "Targets", one of my personal favorites. I had a problem with the ending only because it seemed a bit contrived, that is, Jack, at a time when he really needs money, refuses to set up a Senator for big bucks, and although it's not spoken, the reason he does this, most likely, is because the Senator is a democrat. Bogdonavitch's character, who'd sent Jack on the mission, mentions that the senator is a democrat, which leads me to my theory that the only reason the Jack character has scruples about setting up an American Polititian is because he's a Democrat, and if he's a Democrat he's most likely hired by a... Need I say more? If this Senator were Republican, I'm sure this movie would have ended with Jack's pocket being full of bread and Jack having no problem with it at all. But it's a Corman film, and like all Corman films there is a bright shining left wing agenda... actually, a lot of big budget Hollywood pictures have this too; but I digress. This movie has style and flows nicely, and the directing is superb but without being distracting. The only reason I'm giving it a 9 instead of a 10 is because of the screaming agenda at the end, which won't bother most, just me, someone who can see it coming from miles away having seen many great films that just can't help taking sides.

They All Laughed (1981)

Out of Touch

[2/10 · 6 January 2007]

This is said to be a personal film for Peter Bogdonavitch. He based it on his life but changed things around to fit the characters, who are detectives. These detectives date beautiful models and have no problem getting them. Sounds more like a millionaire playboy filmmaker than a detective, doesn't it? This entire movie was written by Peter, and it shows how out of touch with real people he was. You're supposed to write what you know, and he did that, indeed. And leaves the audience bored and confused, and jealous, for that matter. This is a curio for people who want to see Dorothy Stratten, who was murdered right after filming. But Patti Hanson, who would, in real life, marry Keith Richards, was also a model, like Stratten, but is a lot better and has a more ample part. In fact, Stratten's part seemed forced; added. She doesn't have a lot to do with the story, which is pretty convoluted to begin with. All in all, every character in this film is somebody that very few people can relate with, unless you're millionaire from Manhattan with beautiful supermodels at your beckon call. For the rest of us, it's an irritating snore fest. That's what happens when you're out of touch. You entertain your few friends with inside jokes, and bore all the rest.

What's Up, Doc? (1972)

The Plastic Picture Show

[1/10 · 31 December 2006]

This movie is an unfunny mess. It's plastic. I was watching my Peter Bogdonavitch DVDs with commentary, since he does commentary so well. I put in "The Last Picture Show" first, which is one of the best movie ever made. Then "Paper Moon", a low-key classic which I enjoy. Then "Targets", one of the coolest dark-action films ever. Then I put in this movie which I had bought along with the other Bogdonavitch movies, but had never watched. I couldn't believe how awful it was. Especially compared to "The Last Picture Show". Peter must have been so full of himself having made a great serious movie that he felt he could pull off anything. He doesn't pull off anything in this movie except trying to show off one of the most overrated performers of all time, Barbara Streisand, who might possibly be the most annoying actress, playing the most annoying character, in film history here. Ryan O'Neal is acting his part; you can tell he is performing as somebody he isn't, a geek. The rest of the talented cast frolics and fumbles along trying to be funnier than the next. The plot is confusing. The action is painful. The car chase is overblown and overrated. Peter must have gone to one too many Hollywood parties to have an idea to pool all this talent into one big lousy comedy that tries much too hard to be funny. Horrible. Just downright awful. Peter would make up for it with "Paper Moon", but then, thereafter, his career would go downhill. As for the director commentary, it was sad hearing Peter saying "That got a huge laugh" on every single moment of the movie. A fly would land on an extra in the background and he'd say "That got a huge laugh". And every single line of the movie Peter would say "People come up to me and quote that line" or "That's a little inside joke in my family". I kept asking myself if audiences from the early seventies were on laughing gas. God knows, but I sure don't, what made this movie a success and what made people think this candy apple humor was funny. I just can't understand the appeal of this film. I just don't get it, and I'm proud that I don't get it. And that I don't get Barbara Streisand, the pet rock of the entertainment industry... And I don't mean to insult the pet rock with that comparison. Yes, her voice is pretty. But she isn't. As I said, she's the most overrated human being that ever "happened" in the world of entertainment.

Torn Curtain (1966)

Half Great

[6/10 · 27 December 2006]

Kind of a let down. The first hour of this film is brilliant. You're really sucked into the plot. And tricked as well. When Paul Newman is dodging the KGB guy (I forget his name, but he's important since his prolonged death scene is historic), I was on the edge of my seat. But then, after Paul Newman and his wife are both aware of the same situation - since in the first half of the movie they're not - the situation being they are both in trouble and must leave Russia - and originally that Newman wasn't what he pretended to be - the movie falls apart, quick. It turns from a cool spy flick into a Disney-like chase film, which is, for the most part, still kind of fun and entertaining. But if the entire movie held up as well as the first half, this would be classic Hitchcock. Same thing goes for the movie he made right after this, another long espionage film that I forget the name of, but that was, for the first half, really good, and then falls apart. Sidenote: It's great that Hitchcock would later make a comeback with FRENZY, which is his second to last film but should still be regarded as his swan song project. Back at hand: I do recommend this film, TORN CURTAIN. The shots are terrific, even though you can tell most of the outdoor locations are sets. The acting is good, and it won't be a waste of your time or money.

Rocky Balboa (2006)

Nothing Gained, Nothing Lost

[6/10 · 22 December 2006]

Well, it was okay I guess. Kind of boring, but had a nice little pace. Still it needed more corniness. Needed some of that cheesy stuff that made us wince enjoyably at part three and five (part four I won't even mention because it was so horrible). I mean, okay... if you're going to play it straight, that's fine, but not so slow. The first movie wasn't slow because the slow parts were involving, and interesting, and... original. Now to the actors. The champion "Mason Dixon" - the guy who played him - was boring. We needed an "Apollo Creed" type of villain that we love to hate, and that we want Rocky to clobber. Rocky's son lacked what even Sly's real life son Sage had in part five, that is, involvement and energy. This actor who played Rocky Jr was just like "Mason", boring as heck. As was the girlfriend, "Marie". Then again, I didn't mind her as much. It was nice that she was a normal looking lady, and not some supermodel. I wouldn't have put it past Sly to have that happen, let Rocky get a trophy girl. It's nice he went the realistic route for his main gal. And lastly, Burt Young, by far the best character in all the movies, and deep down, everyone's favorite. The poor guy though, now, is too old to even deliver his lines. Thus he couldn't be the comic relief that was needed. Now for the look of the film; the style. The edits were too fast. It seemed like something from television, like a "Grey's Anatomy" or one of those quickly paced cop shows. This is meant for an edgy feel, but came out more awkward, rushed. And the end fight seemed as if you were watching a pay-per-view, and was sort of a let-down. All in all though, this film was okay. Or perhaps, just okay enough. It didn't hurt, but didn't help much either. Nothing gained, nothing lost. Farewell to Rocky. More of a whimper than a bang, but that's okay. We love the guy anyway.