nickjack Reviews

Talisman (1998)

Bizarro-WIP

[3/10 · 6 September 2001]

This plays like a Bizarro-world version of a Women-in-Prison movie. You remember Bizarro world from Superman comic books and Seinfeld episodes: everything is like our earth, but in an imperfect (really whacked-out) way. In this case, the classic Reform School, which in our reality would be full of nubile young girls who get hosed down, is full of nubile young men. There is a food-fight in the dining hall, a lock-down and even a trustee character who apparently is coercing his roommates into providing him with um...companionship. But when the plot should head toward showers and/or a breakout, the inmates/students start getting sacrificed on the apocalyptic demonic altar in the basement and then... Well, it's never as seedy as one might hope, but you've got to give Charles Band credit for trying something different.

Razor Blade Smile (1998)

Now come on...

[8/10 · 5 September 2001]

Now come on...This movie is better than that. It's a terrific vampire movie. It has decent special effects. It has some neat ideas, and the voice-over narration is at least as good as any Hollywood product from the same year. It's definitely the best British vampire film since Vampire Circus. Unless you just despise the Goth aesthetic, this is a pretty cool flick. If you do despise the Goth aesthetic, why are you renting a vampire movie?

Fakin' Da Funk (1997)

What a waste!

[1/10 · 5 September 2001]

What a terrible waste of great actors! These people should be put in jail! Given the combination of Margaret Cho, Rudy Ray Moore and Pam Grier, no one could possibly make a worse film than this. Gene Siskel used to ask himself if a film was less interesting than a documentary about the same actors eating lunch. Sadly, this one is much less interesting. See any other piece of Moore's or Grier's work. See Margaret Cho's concert film, "I'm the one that I want." Just don't see this.

Revenge of the Dead (1983)

Made for television

[3/10 · 5 September 2001]

Some sort of explanation for this snoozer must lie in its credit reference to Italian television. Like US made-for-TV films, it's horror without anything scary and sex without anything erotic. The dead in this movie aren't lame, but the film certainly is.